Underneath Their Robes

Where in the World Is Article III Groupie?

Article III Groupie just returned to blogging -- but now, sadly enough, she must take her leave of you once again. She's going to be out of the country for the next two weeks or so, attending the overseas wedding of a close friend.

If she gets the chance, A3G will try to do a little blogging and e-mailing while she's away. But she's uncertain about how much internet access she will have in her destination. So please don't be surprised if A3G doesn't blog much over the next two weeks (and please don't be offended if she's unable to respond to your email).

This means that A3G will probably miss much of the upcoming Supreme Court confirmation hearings for her beloved Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr. The thought of being away from C-Span and the internet during the Alito hearings, which start up on January 9, upsets A3G as much as missing the Barneys Warehouse Sale did last August. But she had no control over the timing of either the hearings or her friend's wedding, so there's no sense in fretting.

Some people might be relieved to hear that A3G won't be blogging much, if at all, about the Alito hearings. A UTR reader recently drew A3G's attention to this interesting passage in an article in today's New York Times by David D. Kirkpatrick:

"[Judge Alito] will have a couple hairs out of place," said one participant [in the process of preparing Alito for the hearings, a.k.a. the "murder boards"].

"I am not sure his glasses fit his facial features. He might not wear the right color tie. He won't be tanned. He will look like he is from New Jersey, because he is. That is a very useful look, because it is a natural look. He's able to go toe-to-toe with senators, and at the same time he could be your son's Little League coach."

UTR's correspondent remarked to A3G: "You seem to have had an effect on mainstream media judicial coverage!" And the self-involved A3G can't help thinking that Kirkpatrick's source was preemptively refuting an anticipated negative review of Judge Alito's personal style from A3G (especially with that pointed reference to the Garden State, which she and Judge Alito share as a home state).

But if this White House insider was worried about A3G mocking Judge Alito, he need not fret. A3G confesses that, like the notorious Robin Givhan, her assessments of style are often colored by ideological considerations. So even if Judge Alito turns out to be a fashion disaster at the hearings, A3G will probably pull her punches, declining to savage such a staunch conservative. (This self-admitted bias also explains A3G's somewhat harsher treatment of the more dubious Harriet Miers, who was no favorite of conservatives.)

Some of you might be wondering: Where will A3G be spending the next two weeks? Well, if you were a "spicy blogger," where would you go for vacation? Why, India, of course!

Yes, that's right. While Senatrix Dianne Feinstein is asking Judge Alito how he feels about Roe v. Wade "as a man," A3G will be shopping for saris "as a woman." She also looks forward to savoring some samosas (pictured at right) -- hopefully they won't give her gastrointestinal distress. In case she doesn't get to blog between now and the start of the hearings, A3G wishes Judge Alito the very best of luck in his quest for a seat on the Supreme Court!

Judicial SIGHT-ation: Judge Alito Drowns Sorrows in Pizza

This blog has been the source of numerous celebrity sightings of Judge Samuel A. Alito. UTR correspondents have spotted Judge Alito on his way to get coffee and at a local supermarket (where he bagged his own groceries). Indeed, Article III Groupie fears that it's only a matter of time before she and her readers are slapped with a temporary restraining order, directing them to stay 500 feet away from Judge Alito.

But before that happens, let's get in one more judicial sightation of Judge Alito! Here it is:

Hi A3G. It's your loyal Newark correspondent, writing in with a judicial sightation of your beloved SCOTUS nominee, Judge Samuel Alito.

This sighting is an oldie, but a goodie; it took place a few weeks ago. I wasn't going to share it with you at first because it arguably places Judge Alito is a less-than-flattering light. But now that his own mother* has openly talked about how disappointed Judge Alito was when he didn't get nominated the first time around, losing out to Harriet Miers, I feel at liberty to share this with you.

On the Friday after the Miers nomination was announced (on that Monday), I was walking along Broad Street in downtown Newark with a few colleagues. We were on our way back from lunch. And suddenly, my heart skipped a beat. Like any good Article III groupie, I recognized the man walking toward us, heading down Broad Street in the other direction: the Honorable Samuel A. Alito, Jr.!

Judge Alito was walking by himself, unaccompanied by his law clerks, and he was looking absolutely inconsolable. His face bore an expression of the most exquisite and profound sadness -- a look of misery so intense that only the great Isabelle Huppert could conjure it up. If I knew any of this year's Alito clerks, I would have whipped out my cell phone then and there, called one of them up, and said, "Remove all sharp objects from chambers immediately!"

As we walked past Judge Alito, I looked over my shoulder to see where he was heading. He walked into Queen Pizza -- an eatery that some of us refer to, with a mix of affection and indigestion, as "the pizza dump." The pizza at Queen is decent and cheap ($1.50 a slice). But it's hardly an establishment fit for an Article III demigod! The thought of a Supreme Court short-lister eating there depressed me.

Here's my speculation: devastated by his losing the Supreme Court nomination to Harriet Miers, Sam Alito was heading in to the Queen to grab some Italian comfort food. Perhaps he ordered up a plate full of ziti, just like Mamma Rose used to make?

By the way, A3G, rumor has it that the Alito clerks maintain their own (ironic?) version of Zagat's, dedicated to describing Newark's many fine eateries (yes, that was sarcastic). If the Michelin Guide can make it to New York, can a hop across the Hudson to Newark be far behind?

A3G thanks her reader for this scrumptious sightation. It appears that Supreme Court nominees enjoy a slice of pizza every now and then (as do the justices themselves; Justice Scalia reportedly frequents AV Ristorante, where he orders pizza with anchovies). Supreme Court justices: They're just like us!!!

On a somewhat related note, in light of the news reports quoting Rose Alito concerning her son's disappointment when Harriet Miers was nominated, some of you have asked whether Judge Alito might be the judge mentioned in this "Justice Is Blind" item (item #3). Alas, A3G can neither confirm nor deny the identities of any of the judges mentioned in her blog's blind items (which are some of the most sensitive and controversial things that she publishes). She appreciates your understanding.

* Since her son's nomination to the Supreme Court, poor Rose Alito, besieged by the media, has become "a prisoner in her longtime home" (as reported in The Trentonian, via How Appealing).

UTR Featured in Time Magazine!

As an admittedly vain and self-involved individual, Article III Groupie cherishes all mainstream media mentions of UTR (which she lovingly collects in the left-hand column of her humble blog). And the latest addition to the UTR Press Book is a very exciting one: a mention in Time magazine!!!

Now A3G feels especially guilty for being AWOL from the blogosphere...

"The Little Supremes": Law Geeks on the Make

If you're suffering from UTR withdrawal, just read this awesome article, by Anna Schneider-Mayerson of the New York Observer, entitled "The Little Supremes." The subhead says it all: "Meet the Next Generation of Robertses and Alitos: Blazers, No Nose Rings, Strunk and White Sarcasm; ‘If They Wanted It,’ One Says, ‘They Wouldn’t Say It.'"

Schneider-Mayerson's article is a fascinating, detailed study of the folks she dubs "Little Supremes": "a handful of earnest, platinum-résumé’d law geeks whose prospects for the Big Bench are the source of constant speculation among friends and colleagues." This glamorous group is dominated (unsurprisingly) by members of the Elect, including several whose names have been splashed generously over the pages of this blog (e.g., Noah Feldman, Kermit Roosevelt, David Schizer, etc.).

Article III Groupie's final reason for recommending this article to you: it includes a shout-out to UTR! Here's the relevant discussion:

At N.Y.U., as at other top schools, somewhere between 15 and 40 students with the top grades get special counseling for prime clerkship placements, the goal being to send the top Supreme Court clerkship candidates to "feeder judges," said [Professor Burt] Neuborne.

These are the old kingmakers of an old profession. In the first half of the century, it was Second Circuit Judge Learned Hand; in the 25 years after that, Second Circuit Judge Henry Friendly. At least six of his former clerks are on the federal bench—including Justice Roberts and Judges Pierre Leval, A. Raymond Randolph, Michael Boudin, William Curtis Bryson and Merrick Garland.

The feeder judges tend to be Supremes-in-waiting themselves. These days, some of those judges are political iconoclasts Richard Posner and Alex Kozinski, conservative sparring partners Michael Luttig and J. Harvie Wilkinson III, and Second Circuit Clinton appointees Pierre Leval and Guido Calabresi.

"I think Guido picks winners," said Mr. Roosevelt, who didn’t get a clerkship offer from Judge Calabresi but did clerk on the D.C. circuit, considered a training ground for Supreme Court justices.

And it’s a betting man’s game. The wildly irreverent, anonymous legal Web log Underneath Their Robes keeps tabs on where feeder-judge clerks end up, and refers to Supreme Court clerks as "members of the Elect."

Delightful! And don't miss the rest of Schneider-Mayerson's article, which is packed full of such juicy tidbits. You can access it by clicking here. Enjoy!

A3G: Not Dead (Yet)

Here is a great and gossipy article, by the Femme Fatale of One First Street, about the first few weeks of the Roberts Court.

Here is an interesting profile of Judge Alito.

Here is the wedding announcement of William Howard Taft V, a former law clerk to Judge Alito. Yes, the bridegroom is a descendant -- specifically, a great-great-grandson -- of William H. Taft, former Chief Justice of the United States (and POTUS too, but that's small potatoes here at UTR).

Article III Groupie is stressed, depressed, and oppressed by the law firm powers-that-be. It's only Wednesday, and she has already pulled one-and-a-half "all-nighters" (after spending most of the weekend in the office). This explains why A3G hasn't been blogging (or emailing) over the past few days. But she hopes to return to the blogosphere soon. Later!

Judge Alito's Sense of Humor

Although federal judges aren't widely regarded as the funniest people, many of them are actually hilarious. For example, our beloved Supreme Court nominee, Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr., has a great sense of humor (as one can see over at his blog).

Judge Alito's sense of humor has been described as "quiet and sly." It's not as flashy as that of Justice Antonin Scalia, nor as snarky as that of the young John Roberts, but it's definitely there (notwithstanding Dana Milbank's somewhat juvenile attempt to portray Judge Alito as a humorless nerd).

Here are two anecdotes demonstrating that Sam Alito is a pretty funny man:

1.  Take a look at this "Justice Is Blind" item, which appeared in the pages of this blog back in October 2004:

The Hallways of Justice. This district court diva, who harbors delusions of grandeur, placed large stonework lions on either side of the door to her chambers. Her neighbor down the hall, an appeals court judge, found the lions absolutely ridiculous (and ugly to boot). Shortly thereafter, he placed two hideous, plastic pink flamingos flanking the entrance to his own chambers.

The district court diva took the hint. She removed her leonine decorations sua sponte, without waiting for the mandate to issue from the appellate court...

Who was the appeals court judge in this humorous tale? Why, it was none other than Judge Samuel Alito! (For confirmation, check out this article, by the excellent Jan Crawford Greenburg.)

2. Professor Eric L. Muller -- who used to urinate next to Judge Alito, with whom he worked in the U.S. Attorney's Office in New Jersey -- offers this funny Alito story:

When [Sam Alito] left the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Third Circuit, those of us in the Appeals Division decided to give him a going-away present. You know those office ink-pad stamps that say "CANCELLED" or "DRAFT" or "RECEIVED" or whatever? We had one made that said "AFFIRMED," to make Sam's job [hearing] criminal appeals that much easier. A little prosecutor's in-joke, you know?

A few months later, an unmarked envelope arrived for us in the Appeals Division. Inside was a slip opinion of the first criminal appeal Judge Alito had heard, with the word "AFFIRMED" stamped about 20 times all over the front page.

We never did figure out who it was from.*

Delightful! Although several justices, such as Justice Antonin Scalia and Chief Justice John Roberts, are quite funny, the Court could always use another member who knows how to laugh. Let's get Judge Alito confirmed to the SCOTUS, ASAP!

* Before you jump to the conclusion that Judge Alito failed to recuse himself when he should have, please note Professor Muller's update to this post:

[T]he opinion we received in the mail with the "AFFIRMED" stamp all over it was not in a case litigated by our office. As I recall, Sam Alito recused himself from all cases that had been pending during his tenure as U.S. Attorney in New Jersey, and even from those that followed his tenure as U.S. Attorney for a period of many months, if not more.

Rosemary Alito: Judicial Sis, Leading Litigatrix

In his remarks accepting President Bush's nomination to the Supreme Court, Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr., thanked various people for their love and support over the years. One of those people was his younger sister, Rosemary Alito, whom Judge Alito described as "a great friend and an inspiration as a great lawyer, and as a strong and independent person."

A "strong and independent," high-powered female lawyer? The type of woman who, if she were a judge, would be a judicial diva? Rosemary Alito definitely piqued Article III Groupie's interest. Having already reported on the Alito children, A3G decided to conduct a little investigation into the Supreme Court nominee's little sis; here's what she learned.

Rosemary Alito is New Jersey's leading labor law litigatrix. (Less colorful accounts describe her as "well-regarded," "highly accomplished," and one of New Jersey's "top employment lawyers.") She's a partner at Kirkpatrick & Lockhart Nicholson Graham, working out of the firm's office in Newark, New Jersey. Prior to being scooped up by K&L in a talent raid, she was a partner for many years at McCarter & English, one of the state's largest firms.

As noted in her firm bio on the K&L website, Rosemary Alito was selected for inclusion in The Best Lawyers in America, and she received the Trial Bar Award from the Trial Attorneys of New Jersey in 1999. She's the author of the treatise New Jersey Employment Law, as well as numerous articles. WOW -- clearly legal genius runs in this family! (Interestingly enough, insofar as Judge Alito focused on appellate litigation during his pre-robescent legal career, judicial sis Rosemary is probably a better trial lawyer than her big brother.)

Rosemary Alito is also "incredibly well-connected" in New Jersey legal circles. Rumor has it that "she was considered for the position of U.S. Attorney by Bush II, which ultimately went to Christopher Christie." UTR's source reports that "[t]here were two stumbling blocks for her getting the job: (1) her lack of criminal law experience (although that was true of Christie as well), and (2) her dating one of the state's top criminal defense lawyers, Michael Critchley (not sure if they're still an item)."

Let's close this post with a delicious celebrity sighting of both Alito siblings. A UTR reader reports that Judge Alito and his sister, while both brilliant and tremendously accomplished, have somewhat different personalities. Judge Alito, who tends toward the formal side, appears to excel in more structured social settings; Rosemary Alito, in contrast, is better one-on-one.*

Here's the judicial sight-ation:

Hi A3G. I'm a New Jersey lawyer and a devotee of your wonderful blog. I just wanted to write to you about my judicial sightation of Judge Samuel Alito and his very impressive sister, Rosemary Alito.

I saw Judge Alito and his sister at a Federal Bar Association (FBA) event for new lawyers about two years ago. Judge Alito was one of the speakers, and his sister Rosemary was presiding over the meeting; she was President of the FBA (and may still be, I'm not sure).

Before the formal event started, there was a cocktail hour. There was a real contrast during this period between Judge Alito and his sister. Judge Alito seemed a bit awkward, and he seemed to have a hard time moving from one conversational circle to the other, which is a critical skill for cocktail parties. I chatted with him briefly -- I had a friend who had clerked for him -- and our conversation, while very pleasant, ended a little abruptly.

Rosemary Alito, on the other hand, was a cocktail party natural, circulating throughout the room smoothly and gracefully. She's a striking woman, tall and attractive, and she was strikingly dressed, in a rather daring leopard-print skirt. Rosemary Alito is clearly an expert at "working it"; she knows how to charm and disarm the most powerful men. She would approach various giants of the New Jersey bar, in a casual and friendly fashion, exchanging cheek-kisses and touching some of them lightly on the forearm. When one of them would tell a joke, she would throw back her magnificent mane of dark hair, and let out peals of full-bodied laughter. One could learn a lot from her!

Once the more formal proceedings started, Judge Alito came into his own. Rosemary Alito gave introductory remarks, and while she did an excellent job in presiding over the meeting, her performance wasn't as awe-inspiring as it was during the cocktail party.

Judge Alito, however, was a fantastic speaker. He was giving a speech on tips and pitfalls in appellate advocacy -- a pretty boring topic. But he was actually hilarious! I can't remember any of his specific remarks (it was two years ago), but he had lots of funny (yet good-natured) anecdotes about bone-headed things lawyers had done. The audience was eating out of his hand!

Here in the Garden State, we're thrilled that one of our own has been nominated to the Supreme Court. Most New Jersey lawyers are more liberal than Judge Alito, but he has a great reputation in our legal community for his brilliance, his kindness, and his integrity. We're pulling for him!

Wonderful! A3G thanks her reader for this detailed report. And she hopes that, as we saw in the case of John G. Roberts, Jr., people of good will on both sides of the aisle can come together behind a nominee who is indisputably bright and fair. In terms of a SCOTUS nominee from a Republican president, liberals could do a lot worse than Judge Samuel Alito.

* This is consistent with what Professor Eric Muller, who worked with Judge Alito in the U.S. Attorney's Office, recently observed: Sam Alito is "a bit shy and a touch awkward" in "small-ish interpersonal settings," but "remarkably at ease and exceedingly funny" when speaking to a larger group."

Judge Alito: Some Raves From His Clerks

As a 15-year veteran of the federal bench, Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr., has many former law clerks (some of whom may hope to win clerkships with him at One First Street if he's confirmed). A number of these clerks have been quoted in the mainstream media news stories about Supreme Court nominee Alito, and their comments collectively establish the following:

(1) Judge Alito, while generally conservative, is not particularly ideological or doctrinaire, choosing instead to approach each case on its own facts (much like Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr.);

(2) consistent with this non-ideological bent, Judge Alito is non-ideological in his clerk hiring, having had a number of liberal law clerks over the years (many more than Justice Antonin Scalia, to whom he's often compared; Justice Scalia sometimes hires one liberal clerk per Term, the so-called "counter-clerk"); and

(3) Judge Alito's clerks love him, offering nothing but praise for his amazing intellect, kind demeanor, and unimpeachable personal integrity.

As it turns out, a number of Alito clerks are readers of UTR, and what they've shared with Article Three Groupie is consistent with the foregoing. One former Alito clerk, with fairly liberal leanings, wrote A3G as follows:

I'm thrilled about Judge Alito's nomination. As a former Alito clerk, I'm not exactly objective, but I have a sound basis for my opinion. No one has taught me more about the law than Judge Alito, and I've never met anyone with his level of brilliance and integrity.

I've also never met anyone who is such a talented and efficient writer. He'd disappear into his office for a bit, then emerge a short while later with a beautifully polished piece of writing for us to comment upon, cite check, etc. He's a great, great pick.

Another former Alito clerk offered these comments:

I've enjoyed reading your blog for a while, but your Alito coverage has been really outstanding! Of course, I'm not quite impartial -- I'm a former Alito clerk, in fact one of the Gang of Four that was responsible for mixing the original "Bold Justice Blend." Needless to say, my former co-clerks and I are all ecstatic about the President's pick.

I visited the Judge's chambers in Newark today, and of course had to make a pilgrimage to Ward's Coffee Shop on Broad Street. I thought you'd be interested to know that the lovely lady who mans the counter, Vera Barbosa, has become an overnight media sensation and is loving every minute of it. Apparently, in the last 24 hours, she's been interviewed by reporters from Time, People, CNN, NBC, and "The Sun" (maybe the British tabloid?). The media spotlight, combined with the hordes of trick-or-treaters (Ward's is famous for its penny candy selection) has made this perhaps the busiest and most eventful day in the shop's 132-year history. I have a feeling that UTR's Alito coffee coverage is to thank for this unexpected media frenzy....

Very few people can offer better insight into what a judge is like than his clerks -- which explains why clerks are some of A3G's best sources. And based on what his clerks have to say about him, Judge Alito deserves speedy confirmation to the SCOTUS, in a landslide vote.

(Update: Don't miss this very interesting interview of Katherine Pringle, a liberal (and gorgeous) former Alito clerk, by David Kravitz of Blue Mass. Group. Kravitz, by the way, is one of the "Super-Elect," having clerked for two Supreme Court justices: Justice Breyer and Justice O'Connor.)

Let's conclude this post with an excerpt from this very interesting New York Times profile of Judge Alito:

Whatever his fate in the nomination process, Judge Alito has already achieved an unusual kind of renown at the T. M. Ward coffee shop near the federal courthouse in Newark, where a popular blend is called "Bold Justice -- the Judge Alito blend."

The owner, Jeffrey Sommer, described the blend of Java, New Guinea and other coffees as "strong in the cup with some sweetness and a winey aftertaste." Mr. Sommer said the judge stops by for a cup most days, and sales "really took off" in recent months.

"Customers usually just say, 'Give me an Alito,' " Mr. Sommer said.

Give us an Alito -- Amen to that!!!

The Alito Children: In Their Own Words

President Bush's wonderful Supreme Court nominee, Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr., is married to Martha Alito (maiden name: Martha-Ann Bomgardner), a former law librarian and now a homemaker. They have two children: Philip Alito, 19, and Laura Alito, 17.

Based on the Google searches people have been running to reach Underneath Their Robes, it's clear that the public is interested in learning more about Judge Alito's lovely family. Although the Alito offspring "ain't exactly dancing Jack" (gavel bang: Law Dork), Phil Alito and Laura Alito are still attractive and accomplished young people. Let's learn a little more about them, shall we?*

Phil Alito is a second-year transfer student at the University of Virginia. In high school, Phil was a moot court champ (see item #12); he also played tennis and soccer. Phil is pictured at left, and since he's 19, A3G is permitted to say: he's a hottie!

Phil's father, it's worth noting, was also quite handsome in his youth. If he had not gained a little weight and lost a little hair in the intervening years, Judge Samuel Alito might have made UTR's list of male superhotties of the federal judiciary.**

Philip Alito spent his freshman year of college at Colgate University, where he was an editor of The Forum, "a non-partisan publication that seeks to encourage and facilitate the discussion of contemporary legal, political and social issues." Phil clearly has a robust and irreverent sense of humor; check out his editor bio from the Forum (Google Cache is wonderful, isn't it?):

First, God made the heavens and earth. Then came Arby's, followed shortly by Carl Jr. and other inferior brands of fast food. Fast foward. Homer's epics, Texas was created, Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier, died at the Alamo, King Kong attacked Manhattan, and then, in a completely reactionary move, I was concieved. [A3G: Okay, let's net get into the details about that...]

I was born 9 months and 2 weeks later by a midwife/wolf named Janie Jean, who would prove very influential during my formative years. Shortly after, I became interested in politics and got involved with Gary Condit (not like that). I served as a parking aide to Nancy Pelosi (I won't even start on her) but was fired when Barbara Boxer came onto me. Eventually, I decided that my teeth needed to be cleaned, so I came to Colgate with a band of gypsies (who I have declared war on and will one day destroy). I decided to join "The Forum" to make friends but obviously that hasn't worked out. So, soon I will probably find a cow at a nearby farm and ride my way to glory in either LA or at the Calgary Rodeos.

Hmm... Will Senator Barbara Boxer vote against Judge Alito because his son accused the good senatrix of making unwanted sexual advances? Only time will tell...

(Update: Chris Geidner, over at Law Dork, analyzes some of the Forum op-eds penned by Phil Alito -- including one discussing the importance of Supreme Court appointments.)

Judicial daughter Laura Alito is a 17-year-old student at James Caldwell High School in West Caldwell, New Jersey. She is a rather attractive young woman, as you can see in the photograph at right, and a very successful competitive swimmer. On the internet, you can find her musings on friendship:

Friendship is defined as the relationship between two people based on affection and respect. But how many people actually truly value their friendships? It seems to be a growing theme that most people take their friends for granted and think they will always be there for them. Friendship is one of the most important things that people can learn. They learn how to be kind to others, respect people for who they are, and most importantly to just have someone whom they can trust and establish a bond.... I think everyone should learn to value his friendships a little more because one never knows what tomorrow might bring and maybe all you’ll need is just a friend to lean on.

Very interesting! President Bush, now that you've nominated a solid conservative with fabulous credentials to the Supreme Court, all that Harriet Miers business is forgiven and forgotten. But A3G can't help noticing: If only you had heeded Laura Alito's wise words about not taking your friends for granted, we might have been spared much aggravation -- as well as tasteless references to a distinguished jurist as "sloppy seconds."

* Before you accuse A3G of violating the privacy of the Alito kids, please note that all of the information she obtained about them was from the internet; as such, it's fair game under the "plain view" doctrine. Having information available about you on the internet is the cyber-equivalent of having a sign trumpeting the information on your lawn. You can't claim a Fourth Amendment violation after the police arrest you for growing marijuana in your front yard, can you?

** One might argue that Judge Alex Kozinski, who prevailed in UTR's judicial hottie competition, also carries more pounds and less hair than he did in his youth (when he successfully competed on The Dating Game, in 1968). But Judge Kozinski more than made up for any shortcomings with a very vigorous campaign in the hottie contest!

Please, Senator Schumer, No More Bus Analogies!

Commenting on speculation over the weekend that a SCOTUS nomination for Judge Janice Rogers Brown would be announced at a wreath-laying ceremony for Rosa Parks, Article III Groupie expressed her fear that such a move would lead to "tortured, bus-related metaphors."

Even though that scenario did not come to pass, Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) decided to offer us a tortured, bus-related simile anyway. He was quoted in this Washington Post article as follows:

"Like Rosa Parks, Judge Alito will be able to change history by virtue of where he sits," Schumer said. "The real question today is whether Judge Alito would use his seat on the bench, just as Rosa Parks used her seat on the bus, to change history for the better or whether he would use that seat to reverse much of what Rosa Parks and so many others fought so hard and for so long to put in place."

It goes without saying: this is perfectly dreadful stuff. A3G agrees with Hugh Hewitt:

Chuck Schumer just argued that it is possible that Judge Alito, as Justice Alito, would roll back the achievements of Rosa Parks. That can only be understood as Schumer's belief that Judge Alito could find segregationist policies acceptable under the constitution. While it is undeniable that the nomination of Robert Byrd would have raised such a question, it is preposterous and indeed base to even hint at such a thing about a distinguished judge and public servant.

Aside from being utterly without foundation, Senator Schumer's bus analogy is silly and stupid. And if you're going to be silly and stupid, why not go all the way? Expect Senator Schumer -- who displayed an interest in movies during the Roberts confirmation hearings -- to deliver the following remarks during the floor debate on Judge Alito's nomination (in that nasal and annoying voice of his):

We've all seen the movie Speed. Think of the Supreme Court as a bus. The Supreme Court Bus, with moderates like Sandra Day O'Connor and Anthony M. Kennedy at the wheel, is hurtling down the Highway of Justice. If the speed of the Supreme Court Bus drops below 50 miles per hour, the Bomb of Reactionary Conservatism will explode -- making meaningless all of the distance that the bus has traveled since the days of the Warren Court.

We can't let that happen. Our Supreme Court Bus still has many miles to travel down the Highway of Justice. We must stop Judge Samuel Alito now, before he stops our Bus!

Heaven help us... Can someone please throw Chuckie from the bus?