Underneath Their Robes

Quiz Show: Who Is YOUR Favorite SCOTUS Nominee?

New World Man has designed this very cool quiz. Take it yourself; it's lots of fun!

The first time that Article III Groupie took the quiz, she was told her favorite Supreme Court nominee is Judge Edith "Happy Happy Joy Joy" Clement (5th Cir.). Dissatisfied with that response, A3G took it a second time, and drew Judge Priscilla Owen (5th Cir.), a.k.a. the Lone Star Diva. That's a bit closer to the mark, but A3G wants to know: What choices must one select in order to end up with Judge Janice Rogers Brown (D.C. Cir.), UTR's top-ranked judicial diva?

The next logical question that arises out of the quiz is: "How did President Bush's actual choice, White House Counsel Harriet Miers, fare as a nominee? How many takers of the quiz ended up with her as their favorite choice?" The answer is available here.

Quiz Show: Take the Danny Boggs Trivia Challenge!

Yes, kids, now you can try this at home! The 2001 edition of the trivia quiz that possible SCOTUS nominee Chief Judge Danny J. Boggs (6th Cir.) administers to his clerkship applicants is available here. And this year's quiz can be downloaded by clicking here (pdf).

As A3G said before, the Boggs quizzes are pretty tough!* You can read all about the quiz, and Chief Judge Boggs's record as a feeder judge -- to Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, a show on which several of his clerks have appeared -- in this great New Yorker piece. (Jonathan Kay's article notes, by the way, that Judge Boggs does not like to use the word "trivia"; he prefers to call his quiz a "general knowledge test.")

After A3G blogged about Chief Judge Boggs, a number of people wrote in to praise him (although Judge Boyce F. Martin, Jr., was not among them).** Here are a few fun facts about the Honorable Danny Julian Boggs:

--his clerks, current and former, adore him (see, e.g., here);

--the "J" that begins his middle name, "Julian," is pronounced like an "H," in the Spanish manner (translation: "Juez Boggs es muy Latino!");

--he is "a wonderful man, and he would be in heaven if he could read and think and discuss interesting random things all day long" (sounds like a good SCOTUS fit to A3G);

--Danny Boggs's daughter, Rebecca Boggs, "went to Harvard, sojourned in England on a Rhodes Scholarship, and is married to another Rhodes Scholar, Mike Wenthe" (it seems like brilliance runs in the Boggs family);

--Chief Judge Boggs's well-dressed wife, Judy, was a Robing Room Report runner-up, in the category of "Best-Dressed Judicial Spouse"; and

--Mrs. Judy Boggs "could not be more kind or generous," doing "everything she can for his clerks as they move to Louisville -- housing advice, help finding dentists, etc."

Based on the foregoing, Judge and Mrs. Boggs sound like fabulous folks. Article 3 Groupie wishes Chief Judge Boggs the best of luck in making it to One First Street!

* In remarking upon the quiz's difficulty, A3G intended no criticism of the quiz or of Judge Boggs. As explained by one UTR correspondent, "the trivia quiz is, in my humble opinion, a way for him to find out if his prospective clerks have interests unrelated to the law, and to give him something to chat about at the interview."

** During the pendency of the Grutter case in the Sixth Circuit, Chief Judge Boggs and another SCOTUS short-lister, Judge Alice M. Batchelder, traded bench-slaps with Judge Martin and other Sixth Circuit liberals. If either Chief Judge Boggs or Judge Batchelder is nominated to the Court, their involvement in Grutter is certain to come under close scrutiny from the Senate Democrats.

The Grutter case was decided by the Supreme Court over two years ago, but the ill will the case generated in the Sixth Circuit lives on. According to one UTR source, "To date, Chief Judge Boggs and Judge Batchelder are not on speaking terms with Judge Martin." And, according to rumor, at one point in time -- although no longer true today, A3G is told -- "Judge Martin's clerks [were] instructed not to talk to Judge Batchelder's and Chief Judge Boggs's clerks." Ouch!

(Photo credit: Foundation for Research on Economics and the Environment (FREE), whose website also has a detailed bio of Chief Judge Boggs.)

Some Fun With Analogies

This piece, by the Femme Fatale of One First Street, will appear in tomorrow's New York Times. Check out this interesting analysis:

In running the "conference," the closed-door, twice-weekly meeting at which the justices discuss cases, Chief Justice Rehnquist prized efficiency and had little patience for extended conversation or second thoughts.

Some students of the court have attributed the lively and question-filled nature of the justices' oral argument sessions during the Rehnquist years to the fact that these sessions, one hour a case, provided the only occasion for the justices to interact at length as a group. If the justices now become more mellow on the bench, that could mean that the conference is giving them an opportunity for a real exchange of views.

Got that? Okay, now A3G will try her hand at being a "puzzleblogger." Please take her little quiz. (It's adult-themed, which is why A3G is posting it in the late evening; parental discretion advised.) Complete the following analogy:

Oral Argument : "The Conference" :: Sex : __________

To learn the answer, check out the comments. Wasn't that fun?

Quiz Show: Judge John G. Roberts!!!

Earlier tonight, President Bush nominated Judge John G. Roberts, Jr., of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit, to become an Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. Article III Groupie is pleased as punch by the President's choice. After all, you can't go wrong by picking a Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary to serve on the SCOTUS! A3G also feels somewhat vindicated, having identified Judge Roberts's nomination as a strong possibility back in this post (comparing the Supreme Court nomination process to the Oscars).

Now that everyone is dying for more information about Judge Roberts, who is more qualified than A3G to get "underneath his robe"? As she previously did for then-Judge Michael Chertoff, A3G has prepared the following quiz, which will allow you to test your knowledge about Judge John Roberts. It's derived largely from information obtained from Judge Roberts's Senate questionnaire, submitted in connection with his D.C. Circuit nomination, and his financial disclosure form. (Both of these documents are available as pdf files from Courting Influence.)

So, for your entertainment and edification, here are 14 trivia questions about Judge Roberts. Keep track of how many questions you answer correctly, and see how you measure up using the scale that appears at the end of the quiz. After taking the quiz, you'll know all there is to know about this fabulous judicial celebrity!

Let's get started, shall we?

1. John Glover Roberts was born to Jack and Rosemary Roberts on January 27, 1955, in Buffalo, New York. His father, an engineer by training, worked for Bethlehem Steel (as noted in this profile). In terms of siblings, Judge Roberts has:

(a) one sister
(b) a brother and a sister
(c) two brothers
(d) three sisters
(e) none; he's an only child

Answer: (d). In his remarks at the news conference announcing his nomination, Judge Roberts thanked his three sisters -- Cathy, Peggy and Barbara -- for their support. When Senate Democrats start grilling Judge Roberts about his commitment to "women's issues" (read: abortion on demand), expect Judge Roberts to cite his growing up in a household with four women as giving him a sensitivity to women's concerns.

Update: He is not related to Julia Roberts (see item #5).

2. In terms of his religious beliefs, Judge Roberts is:

(a) Protestant
(b) Catholic
(c) Jewish
(d) atheist

Answer: (b). Judge Roberts's Catholicism could have been a factor that moved him to the top of President Bush's shortlist, insofar as it might suggest a willingness to revisit Roe v. Wade (which would please the Republican Party's conservative base). Of course, being a devout Catholic could also make it more difficult for Judge Roberts to win confirmation, if Senate Democrats suspect that his personal religious views might affect his judicial decisionmaking.

3. Although he was born in Buffalo, Judge Roberts grew up in Indiana, to which the Roberts family moved after his father was transferred to run a steel plant there. During high school, he was the captain of:

(a) the football team
(b) the baseball team
(c) the chess team
(d) the academic decathlon team
(e) no team; he focused on his schoolwork

Answer: (a), impressively enough. How well-rounded of him! In addition to playing football, John Roberts also wrestled for his high school team. Of course, given his brilliance and subsequent academic achievement, one can't be faulted for guessing (c), (d), or (e).

John Roberts is clearly a man who has it all: a razor-sharp mind, great good looks, athleticism, a loving and adorable family, and mucho dinero (as discussed infra). If Judge Roberts weren't such a nice and decent person, we would all really hate him!

4. To pay his way through Harvard College -- from which he graduated in only three years, summa cum laude, with a degree in history -- Judge Roberts spent summers working in:

(a) a law library
(b) a steel mill
(c) a physician's office
(d) Chippendales
(e) a department store (men's neckwear)

Answer: (b), surprisingly enough. A3G would pay good money for pictures of a young, sweaty John Roberts toiling in a steel mill, in a hard hat and tank top! As you can see from the college yearbook photo at right, reprinted in the Harvard Crimson, John Roberts was just as good-looking back then as he is today. (In fact, like the vast majority of human beings, Judge Roberts was arguably better-looking when he was younger. Whether you agree with this statement depends on whether you place greater value on a youthful face, which he had back then, or a better haircut, which he has today.)

As for answer (d), Chippendales -- well, a girl can dream, can't she?

5. After graduating magna cum laude from Harvard Law School, where he served as managing editor of the Harvard Law Review, Judge Roberts clerked for:

(a) Judge Carl McGowan (D.C. Cir.), then Justice Marshall
(b) Judge David Bazelon (D.C. Cir.), then Justice Powell
(c) Judge Henry J. Friendly (2d Cir.), then Justice Rehnquist
(d) Judge J. Skelly Wright (D.C. Cir.), then Justice Rehnquist

Answer: (c); this question was a "gimme." It is widely known that Judge Roberts used to work at Friendly's and that he clerked for William H. Rehnquist, who was then an Associate Justice. What's interesting is that now that Chief Justice Rehnquist is sticking around One First Street, the Chief might end up serving on the Court alongside his former clerk. (Perhaps the possibility of serving together with his former clerk, with whom he remains close, was an incentive for WHR to hang in there for one more term?)

The phenomenon of former law clerks serving alongside their judges happens with some regularity on the circuit courts. There's Samuel Alito and Leonard Garth on the Third Circuit, Eric Clay and Damon Keith on the Sixth Circuit, and Diane Sykes and Terence Evans on the Seventh Circuit. The Ninth Circuit has at least three such pairings: Richard Clifton and the late Herbert Choy, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and James Browning, and superhottie Kozinski and then-Judge Kennedy. But, as one curious UTR reader asks, when was the last time it happened at the Supreme Court (if ever)?

Update: A well-informed reader offers this enlightening response: "Never. There have been four Supreme Court law clerks who were later Justices: Justice White (clerked for Chief Justice Vinson), Chief Justice Rehnquist (clerked for Justice Jackson), Justice Stevens (clerked for Justice Rutledge), and Justice Breyer (clerked for Justice Goldberg). A scan of the lists reflects that there is no overlap between the terms of service of any of these pairs of names."

6. After his clerkships, from 1981 to 1986, Judge Roberts spent several years as a government lawyer. He served in:

(a) the Department of Justice's super-elite Office of Legal Counsel
(b) the DOJ's highly influential Office of Legal Policy
(c) the DOJ, as a special assistant to Attorney General William French Smith, followed by the White House Counsel's Office
(d) the justly celebrated U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York
(e) the Solicitor General's Office (which needs no adjectives)

Answer: (c). Judge Roberts served from August 1981 to November 1982 as Special Assistant to Attorney General Smith, and from November 1982 to May 1986 as Associate Counsel to President Ronald Reagan, in the White House Counsel's Office. To those of you who selected (e), it wasn't a bad choice -- Judge Roberts did work in the SG's office (although not at this point in his career).

7. From 1986 to 1989, Judge Roberts worked for which exceedingly prestigious, white-shoe Washington law firm:

(a) Hogan & Hartson
(b) Covington & Burling
(c) Williams & Connolly
(d) Wilmer Cutler & Pickering
(e) Kirkland & Ellis (D.C. office)

Answer: (a). Judge Roberts joined Hogan & Hartson as an associate in May 1986, and he was elected a general partner of the firm in October 1987. He resigned his partnership in October 1989 to assume the post of Principal Deputy Solicitor General, but he returned to the partnership in January 1993. He remained at Hogan, where he headed up the firm's appellate practice, until his 2003 appointment to the D.C. Circuit.

Response (e) is not a bad answer, given the proliferation of high-powered conservative lawyers who have passed through, and continue to populate, the halls of Kirkland & Ellis's Washington office (e.g., Ken Starr).

8. From 1989 to 1993, Judge Roberts served as the Principal Deputy Solicitor General of the United States, under Solicitor General Kenneth W. Starr. During his time in the SG's office, he worked on many prominent cases before the Supreme Court.

Which of the following cases from Judge Roberts's stint in the SG's office is NOT mentioned in the Senate questionnaire he submitted in connection with his D.C. Circuit nomination, in response to the request for descriptions of "the ten most significant litigated matters which you personally handled"?

(a) United States v. Kokinda
(b) Lujan v. National Wildlife Federation
(c) ICC v. Boston & Maine Corp.
(d) Rust v. Sullivan

Answer: (d). Quelle surprise! If not for his involvement in Rust v. Sullivan, in which he co-authored a Supreme Court brief arguing that the sacred cow of Roe v. Wade was wrongly decided, Judge Roberts would have a 99 percent chance of confirmation (instead of the 90 percent chance that he currently enjoys).

9. In January 1993, Judge Roberts returned to Hogan & Hartson, where he cemented his well-deserved reputation as one of the most talented members of the Supreme Court bar, as well as one of the nation's top appellate lawyers. He also raked in some serious dough. In 2003, the last year he was a partner at Hogan, Judge Roberts earned:

(a) $400,000-$600,000
(b) $600,000-$800,000
(c) $800,000-$1,000,000
(d) $1,000,000-$2,000,000
(e) over $2 million

Answer: (d). According to his 2004 financial disclosure statement, he earned $1,044,399.54 in gross income from Hogan & Harton in 2003. Not bad, especially for an appellate lawyer!

(Yes, A3G realizes that top appellate practitioners -- such as lawyer/bloggers Howard Bashman and Tom Goldstein, as well as former SG Ted Olson (whose recent summer party at his palatial estate yielded judicial sight-ations galore) -- do just fine for themselves. But let's face facts: appellate law might be interesting, intellectually challenging, and quite prestigious, but it is not where the money's at within the legal profession.)

10. While we're on the subject of Judge Roberts's finances, his most recent reported net worth is:

(a) $1 million to $2 million
(b) $2 million to $3 million
(c) $3 million to $4 million
(d) $4 million to $5 million
(e) over $5 million

Answer: (c), namely, $3.8 million. If that strikes you as low relative to his income, recall that Judge Roberts hasn't been earning a million dollars a year for his entire 25-year career. Those fat Hogan & Hartson paychecks were diluted by several years of government-service penury. And people don't join the D.C. Circuit for the pay ($171,800), baby -- they do it for the prestige!

Of course, Judge Roberts does enjoy significant investment income. His financial disclosure form reveals a healthy portfolio of well-diversified investments, consisting largely of blue-chip stocks and bonds (but also including a "1/8 Interest in Cottage, Knocklong, Limerick, Ireland").

Update: Give yourself a point if you chose item (e); a more recent financial disclosure form indicates that Judge Roberts's net worth has increased to almost $5.3 million. For more details, click here, here, or here.

11. During his time at Hogan & Hartson, Judge Roberts did a little lobbying work, in addition to his appellate litigation practice. Judge Roberts loobbied on behalf of which of the following organizations:

(a) the NRA
(b) the Western Peanut Growers Association
(c) the Christian Coalition
(d) the AARP
(e) the American Council of Life Insurance

Answer: (b). Thus, as noted here by Sean Sirrine of Objective Justice, John Roberts "worked for peanuts"! In the late 1990s, Judge Roberts lobbied on behalf of the Western Peanut Growers Association and the Panhandle Peanut Growers Association, in support of the Warehouse Storage Loan Program and the Peanut Price Support Program (thrilling stuff).

12. Judge Roberts's wife, Jane Roberts, works as:

(a) an attorney
(b) a journalist
(c) a physician (OB/GYN)
(d) a homemaker
(e) a management consultant for defense contractors

Answer: (a). An accomplished lawyer in her own right, Jane Sullivan Roberts, 50, is a professional development partner at the distinguished firm of Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman. Previously, she "practice[d] with the firm’s communications and global sourcing groups, concentrating in representing clients in sophisticated transactions involving technology. She has extensive experience in representing clients in the buying and selling of space-related goods and services, including companies involved in the development of multi-billion dollar global and regional satellite systems."

As a partner at Pillsbury Winthrop, where profits per partner exceed $750,000, Mrs. Roberts surely makes more than the $171,800 that her husband earns as a D.C. Circuit judge (or what he would earn if confirmed as an Associate Justice, namely, $194,200). She came from the Shaw Pittman side of the Pillsbury Winthrop/Shaw Pittman merger. The outfit she's wearing in the picture of her on the firm website (see left) -- a dark suit accessorized with a pale scarf -- seems like it would have been a better choice than the bright pink number she wore to last night's White House press conference.

Jane Sullivan Roberts -- a graduate of Holy Cross College (where she serves on the Board of Trustees), Melbourne University, and Brown -- has an impressive educational pedigree (even if it's not as jaw-droppingly fabulous as her husband's). She is known as a devout Catholic, and she reportedly served at one point as an executive of Feminists for Life.

John and Jane Roberts were married on July 27, 1996. (Early wishes for a happy anniversary, Judge and Mrs. Roberts!) They have two adopted children, Josie and Jack (who is presumably named after his grandfather, and therefore John G. Roberts, III). The Roberts family lives in Chevy Chase, Maryland, in a large, elegant, white-brick colonial home (whose lawn Judge Roberts mows himself).

13. Judge Roberts enjoys which of the following activities in his spare time?

(a) fox hunting
(b) sailing
(c) reading and golf
(d) fiction writing
(e) competitive bridge

Answer: (c). Response (a) is true of Judge Roberts's colleague, Chief Judge Douglas H. Ginsburg (whose other other hobby derailed his own Supreme Court candidacy). Response (b) is true of another conservative D.C. Circuit jurist, Judge Laurence H. Silberman, and response (d) would be appropriate for Judge David B. Sentelle. Response (e) applies to champion bridge player Judge Amalya L. Kearse (2d Cir.).

14. Judge Roberts belongs to all of the following organizations, except for:

(a) the Federalist Society
(b) the Republican National Lawyers Association
(c) the Metropolitan Club
(d) the Rotary Club
(e) the Robert Trent Jones Golf Club

Answer: (a) or (d). Judge Roberts's status as a member of the RNLA reassures conservatives of his bona fides, despite his lack of a lengthy paper trail (which might otherwise suggest Souter-ish tendencies). Although he's not a member of the Federalist Society, members of the Society, including executive vice president Leonard Leo, vouched for Judge Roberts's conservatism. As for his membership in the Robert Trent Jones Golf Club, does anyone out there know his handicap?

(Update: The preceding paragraph reflects corrections. An earlier version of this quiz erroneously reported that Judge Roberts belongs to the Federalist Society. As noted here, in an article by Charles Lane for the Washington Post, this was incorrect.)

(Update of the update: Actually, Judge Roberts maintains that he does not belong to the Federalist Society, despite the Post article reporting that he was listed in 1997 as a member of the Society's Washington Lawyers Steering Committee. The situation remains a little confusing, however, so give yourself a point for either (a) or (d).)

********************

So, how did you do? Giving yourself one point for each correct answer, measure yourself against the following scale:

14: one of the Elect (perfect score required)
12-13: feeder judge clerk
10-11: circuit court clerk
8-9: district court clerk
7-6: state court clerk
0-5: most foul of the Great Unwashed

As revealed by the above discussion, Judge John Roberts is a truly amazing individual. He's exceedingly accomplished, attractive, and affable, and he would be an excellent addition to the Supreme Court. Let's do everything we can to make his confirmation a reality!

Quiz Show: Judge Michael Chertoff!

Last Tuesday, January 11, President Bush nominated Judge Michael Chertoff, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, to join the Cabinet as the next Secretary of Homeland Security. After the spectacular implosion of the nomination of former New York City police commissioner Bernard Kerik, President Bush was clearly looking for a "safe," eminently confirmable pick. And who could be a safer pick than a sitting federal judge? As the readers of UTR know, federal judges are paragons of probity (in contrast to their icky state court counterparts).

Judge Chertoff has made several prior appearances in these pages, and after the announcement of his nomination, numerous visitors accessed UTR seeking information about Judge Chertoff. Consider the following internet searches that brought people to this blog:

--Michael Chertoff personal life
--is michael chertoff married
--michael chertoff wife
--Michael Chertoff gay
--michael chertoff bad judge
--chertoff's clerks
--michael chertoff gremlin
--Michael Chertoff Roman Catholic

Clearly the public has a burning desire to peek beneath the robe of this distinguished jurist! Fortunately for the American people, Article III Groupie has already done some research of her own into the Honorable Mike Chertoff, which she will now share in this post.

Enquiring minds what to know: What's up with Judge Chertoff's personal life? How much is he worth? What does he like to do in his spare time? And are there any skeletons in his closet that could derail his nomination?

To find out the answers to these and other questions, take the "Chertoff Challenge." Welcome to UTR's latest feature (which may or may not become a regular offering, depending on reader response): Quiz Show, trivia questions about your favorite federal judges!

For your entertainment and edification, here are 18 trivia questions about Judge Chertoff. Keep track of how many questions you answer correctly, and see how you measure up using the scale that appears at the end of the quiz. After taking the quiz, you'll know all there is to know about this fabulous judicial celebrity. In reading over the answers that follow each question, you'll also acquire additional nuggets of knowledge about some of his Article III colleagues (both on the Third Circuit and other courts).

Let's get started, shall we?

1. Judge Michael Chertoff was born on November 28, 1953, in Elizabeth, New Jersey. He is the son of:

(a) a real estate developer
(b) a rabbi
(c) an orthopedic surgeon
(d) a waiter
(e) a prostitute

Answer: (b). Judge Chertoff's father was a rabbi; for those of you who ran searches for "michael chertoff roman catholic," the answer is probably "no."

Answer (a) would be correct if we were talking about Judge Chertoff's colleague, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry, the daughter of legendary real estate developer Fred Trump (and the big sister of celebrity developer Donald Trump; presumably she'll be attending her brother's wedding to model Melania Knauss this coming weekend).

Answer (d) would be right if we were discussing another Chertoffian colleague, Judge Theodore A. McKee, whose father was a waiter on the New York Central Railroad (see here). As for (e), it would be correct if we were talking about Bernie Kerik, President Bush's original, scandal-ridden nominee. (Kerik's mama was a ho? Hmm, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...)

2. Judge Chertoff attended:

(a) Harvard College and Harvard Law School
(b) Harvard College and Yale Law School
(c) Princeton College and Harvard Law School
(d) Princeton College and Yale Law School
(e) University of Pennsylvania and Yale Law School

Answer: (a). Judge Chertoff is "double-barreled Crimson," a graduate of Harvard College and Harvard Law School, both magna cum laude. Response (d) is the educational background of Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr., a bench buddy of Judge Chertoff, and response (e) is that of another colleague, Judge Edward R. Becker.

3. Judge Chertoff was a summer associate at which highly prestigious, but now non-existent, law firm?

(a) Hill & Barlow
(b) Brobeck, Phelger & Harrison
(c) Reboul, MacMurray, Hewitt & Maynard
(d) Miller, Cassidy, Larroca & Lewin

Answer: (d). Miller Cassidy was a small, super-elite Washington litigation boutique that was well-known for its success in many areas, including appellate and Supreme Court litigation, white-collar criminal practice, and constitutional law. In late 2000, Texas mega-firm Baker Botts acquired Miller Cassidy, hoping to "buy its way into a Supreme Court presence" (as explained in this very interesting article by Tony Mauro).

But things didn't work out as Baker Botts hoped. After the acquisition, many of the Elect who worked at Miller Cassidy scattered to the four winds. As noted in Mauro's article, "[Supreme Court superstar Nathan] Lewin did not move to Baker Botts with his firm, opting instead to open his own shop, Lewin & Lewin, with his daughter Alyza. [Former SG Seth] Waxman did not return to his prior home, moving instead to Wilmer, Cutler & Pickering (now Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr). Former William Rehnquist clerk Jody Kris went with Waxman, and former Byron White clerk Scott Nelson went over to Public Citizen Litigation Group."

4. Judge Chertoff clerked for Judge Murray Gurfein (2d Cir.), followed by:

(a) Justice Powell
(b) Justice Brennan
(c) then-Justice Rehnquist
(d) Judge Chertoff never clerked at One First Street, proving that members of the Great Unwashed are capable of having fulfilling legal careers.

Answer: (b). Judge Chertoff clerked for Justice Brennan, which many might find surprising given Judge Chertoff's conservatism. Response (c) is true of the studly Judge John G. Roberts, Jr. (D.C. Cir.). If Judge Chertoff is confirmed and has a successful tenure as DHS Secretary, and if a Supreme Court slot opens up late in President Bush's second term, Judges Chertoff and Roberts could find themselves locked in mortal combat for a berth at One First Street.

As for answer (d) -- don't be ridiculous! That flagrantly false statement was included for comic relief.

5. After his Supreme Court clerkship, Judge Chertoff worked as an associate at which top law firm?

(a) Cravath, Swaine & Moore
(b) Sullivan & Cromwell
(c) Latham & Watkins
(d) Kirkland & Ellis
(e) Jenner & Block

Answer: (c). Judge Chertoff was an associate at Latham from 1980 to 1983. About a decade later -- after working as a federal prosecutor in New York, serving as U.S. Attorney for New Jersey, and serving as Special Counsel to the Whitewater Committee of the Senate -- Judge Chertoff returned to Latham as a partner.

6. From 1983 to 1987, Judge Chertoff worked as an Assistant U.S. Attorney in the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York -- a renowned office, brimming over with legal celebrities in the making (which remains true today). Which of the following individuals was NOT a colleague of Judge Chertoff in the Sovereign District of New York?

(a) former New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani
(b) federal judge Barbara S. Jones (S.D.N.Y.)
(c) federal judge (and feeder judge) Pierre N. Leval (2d Cir.)
(d) Wachtell Lipton partner John F. Savarese

Answer: (c). Judge Leval is an alum of the S.D.N.Y., but he worked in the office well before Chertoff's arrival. When Chertoff was an AUSA, Judge Leval was already a district court judge.

Giuliani, Jones, and Savarese all worked with Judge Chertoff in the U.S. Attorney's Office. As noted in this article, Judge Chertoff "had barely finished his first year [as an AUSA] when his supervisor, Barbara S. Jones, now a federal judge, picked him to work on a unique organized crime investigation alongside the head of the office, United States attorney Rudolph W. Giuliani."

John Savarese was also a member of the trial team in what developed into a legendary Mafia prosecution, known as the "Commission" case. Savarese is now a partner at Wachtell Lipton, the super-profitable New York law firm. (He later became famous -- or infamous, according to some -- as Martha Stewart's first, pre-Morvillo lawyer.)

7. In 1987, Judge Chertoff hopped across the river to the U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of New Jersey, to serve as First Assistant in that office. In 1990, at the tender age of 36, he was appointed by the first President Bush (and confirmed by the Senate) to serve as U.S. Attorney for New Jersey, a post he held from 1990 to 1994.

Chertoff personally handled the securities fraud prosecution of Eddie Antar, founder of the "Crazy Eddie" discount electronics store chain. What was the Crazy Eddie motto, featured prominently in its advertising campaigns?

(a) "His prices are INSANE!"
(b) "You'd be CRAZY not to shop here!"
(c) "You've got questions, we've got answers."
(d) "Price, selection, service."
(e) "Imagine that!"

Answer: (a). At the end of Crazy Eddie's ubiquitous TV spots, a manic actor would shout this slogan at the viewer, in rather deranged fashion. Answers (d) and (e) are slogans previously used by electronics retailer Circuit City.

As noted here, at Antar's trial, Judge Chertoff "was known in the Antar corner as 'The Wraith' and 'Count Chertoff,' for the way his long arms raked the floor and for the bruise-colored hollows in his cheeks."

8. As U.S. Attorney for New Jersey, Judge Chertoff oversaw numerous high-profile investigations and prosecutions, including the case of this disgraced public figure:

(a) Thomas J. Whelan, former mayor of Jersey City
(b) James Treffinger, former Republican party official in New Jersey
(c) Sol Wachtler, former Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals
(d) James McGreevey, former New Jersey governor and current "gay American"

Answer: (c). Another fine example of an icky state court judge, Sol Wachtler stalked, harassed, and attempted to extort his former mistress, Joy Silverman. His extortion scheme included sending a condom in the mail to Silverman's young daughter. Wachtler pleaded guilty to sending threats through the mail, and he was sentenced to 15 months in prison. Wachtler later wrote a memoir, After the Madness, in which he discussed his time in prison and his struggle with mental illness.

9. In 1994, Judge Chertoff left government and returned to private practice, becoming a partner in the Newark (NJ) office of Latham & Watkins. Starting in 1994, he also served as special counsel to the Republican members of the Senate Whitewater comittee. Judge Chertoff was involved in investigating which of the following scandals that swirled around the Clintons:

(a) the mysterious death of Vince Foster
(b) the mysterious disappearance (and reappearance) of the Rose Law Firm billing records of Hillary Clinton
(c) the mysterious stain on the blue dress of Monica Lewinsky (how on earth did that stain get there?)
(d) scandals (a) and (b), but not (c)
(e) all of the above

Answer: (d). Chertoff was involved in investigating Vince Foster's death and the billing records of Senatrix Clinton, but his Whitewater service concluded in 1996 -- well before the appearance on the scene of the curvaceously alluring Monica Lewinsky, memorably dubbed "the face that launched a thousand subpoenas."

(Coincidentally, UTR sources report that Judge Chertoff -- who is known to have close relationships with his law clerks, frequently going out to lunch with them -- has in his employ a rather attractive young clerk named Monica.)

10. In 2001, after nomination by the President and confirmation by the Senate (by a vote of 95-1), Judge Chertoff assumed the post of Assistant Attorney General of the DOJ's Criminal Division. During his time as head of the Criminal Division, Chertoff was involved in development of the Patriot Act, and he made investigating and prosecuting terrorism cases a priority of the Criminal Division. He earned praise for his hard work, his leadership skills, and his commitment to making terrorism a priority of the Department.

But left-wing critics (and even some right-wing critics) believed that Chertoff went too far in asserting governmental and executive branch authority. Liberals attacked Chertoff as an overzealous prosecutor with insufficient respect for civil liberties, and one pundit bestowed the following sobriquet upon Chertoff:

(a) "The Grim Reaper"
(b) "The Cryptkeeper"
(c) "Ashcroft's Top Gremlin"
(d) "Hector Elizondo with anorexia"
(e) "The Wraith"

Answer: (c). Chertoff's somewhat sepulchral appearance may make answers (a), (b), and (e) appear plausible. Response (d) is not without validity as an observation. Compare Elizondo, at right, with Chertoff, at far right.

The correct choice, however, is (c). In this article, lawyer and writer Elaine Cassel wrote, "[N]ow I have a new gremlin to watch, someone who is as intent on undermining the law and Constitution as Ashcroft. I am referring to the man behind the criminal prosecution of terrorists, Michael Chertoff." Later in the same piece, she described Chertoff as "a scary looking guy if ever there was one" (but one UTR reader begs to differ).

11. In March 2003, Judge Chertoff was nominated by President Bush to the Third Circuit. He was confirmed by the Senate a few short months later, in June 2003, by a vote of 88-1. The one vote against him was cast by:

(a) Senator Biden
(b) Senator Schumer
(c) Senator Leahy
(d) Senatrix Clinton
(e) Senator Kennedy

Answer: (d). Senatrix Clinton voted against Judge Chertoff's appointment to the Third Circuit, and she was also the lone vote against his appointment as AAG. She may still hold a grudge against Judge Chertoff based on his involvement in the Whitewater investigation. As explained here, Senatrix Clinton justified her vote against Judge Chertoff's Third Circuit nomination as "express[ing] her dissatisfaction with his treatment of young members of the White House staff who were called as witnesses when he served as chief counsel to the Senate's investigation of the Whitewater land deal."

After his DHS nomination was announced, Senatrix Clinton issued this diplomatically-worded statement: "The Secretary of Homeland Security plays a very important role in ensuring the security of New York and the nation, which is why I believe that any nomination to such a position merits careful consideration. I look forward to meeting with Judge Chertoff in the very near future to discuss many important issues...." As noted in this article, Senatrix Clinton must handle Chertoff's nomination with care: "Not only is she considering running for President and wary of taking unpopular positions, but she doesn’t want to rile the man who will control New York’s share of anti-terrorism funding, which has been a pet issue of hers."

Answers (a), (b), and (c) are incorrect; as it turns out, Judge Chertoff is on friendly terms with Senators Biden, Schumer, and Leahy.

12. Judge Chertoff's net worth is between:

(a) $500,000 and $1 million
(b) $1 million and $3 million
(c) $3 million and $5 million
(d) over $5 million

Answer: (c). Judge Chertoff has a net worth of $4,520,200. For details, click here; for even more details, in the form of Judge Chertoff's financial disclosure statement, click here (pdf, courtesy of Courting Influence -- a delectable website with a treasure trove of information about President Bush's judicial nominees).

13. What is Judge Chertoff's marital and family status?

(a) married, two children
(b) married, three children
(c) divorced, remarried, two children
(d) divorced, remarried, three children
(e) widower, remarried, one child

Answer: (c), as reported in Judge Chertoff's response to the Senate questionnaire (pdf). Concerning his divorce, Judge Chertoff's response simply states that Judge Chertoff "received a divorce on consent in Superior Court, D.C.," in 1981.

14. What is the occupation of Judge Chertoff's wife?

(a) law librarian
(b) attorney for a lobbying and public relations firm
(c) bond trader
(d) exotic dancer
(e) homemaker

Answer: (b). The high-powered Meryl Chertoff, a Harvard College and Harvard Law School graduate like her husband, is vice-president and legislative counsel for Nancy Becker Associates, a prominent public affairs firm in New Jersey. Answer (a) is true of Judge Alito, whose wife was formerly the law librarian in the U.S. Attorney's Office where he worked. As for (d), if you know of any federal judge married to an exotic dancer, please e-mail A3G immediately.

15. Which of the following quotations was NOT an actual statement made by a friend or former colleague of Judge Chertoff, following the announcement of his nomination as DHS Secretary, explaining the reasons for Judge Chertoff's career move?

(a) "Michael Chertoff is truly a patriot. When the president of the United States asks you to take an important position like this, Michael is the type of person who will say, 'Yes.'"

(b) "I think he [joined the Third Circuit] to get some experience. He would enjoy the work for a time, and then he would do something else."

(c) "I think Michael was hoping something would open up for him. Michael views life as a smorgasbord, or as a series of chapters. He enjoys a position, works hard at it, until he's gotten as much as he can out of it."

(d) "If Mike Chertoff stays on the court, he will always be 'the other white meat' of the Third Circuit -- a second choice for the Supreme Court, waiting in line behind Alito, a New Jersey conservative who has been on the bench for longer. Mike is probably thinking, 'With this job, I can develop a national reputation, leapfrogging Sam Alito and paving the way for my triumphal return to One First Street. MOO-HA-HA!!!'"

Answer: (d). All of the other quotations appear in this profile of Judge Chertoff. While there may be some truth to answer (d) -- it is certainly A3G's own take on the situation -- it is not an actual quotation by a Chertoffian associate.

16. Despite Judge Chertoff's squeaky-clean record and three prior Senate confirmations, which President Bush pointedly noted at the press conference announcing the nomination, Judge Chertoff's confirmation as DHS Secretary could possibly be derailed over:

(a) newly released documents in the John Walker Lindh case that may undermine prior congressional testimony given by Judge Chertoff

(b) alleged misuse of FBI resources during his term as U.S. Attorney for New Jersey

(c) Judge Chertoff's inexcusable and shameful refusal to participate in a "Questions Presented" interview with Article III Groupie for Underneath Their Robes (which he reads regularly and enjoys)

(d) his excessive fraternizing with young and attractive female law clerks (both his own and those of other judges)

(e) responses (a) and (b)

(f) all of the above

Answer: (e). See this article for more details about (a), and this article (by conservative commentator Robert Novak) for more details about (b). A3G will not comment on responses (c) or (d) -- which may or may not have a factual predicate -- except to say that (d), if true, may provide the answer to curious readers who ran "michael chertoff gay" searches on Google. (A3G concedes, however, that the aforementioned clerk hotties could be his hags.)

17. Judge Chertoff enjoys which of the following activities in his spare time?

(a) hiking and karate
(b) scuba diving and snowboarding
(c) running and lifting weights
(d) eating Krispy Kreme donuts
(e) bowling and squash

Answer: (c). Answer (b) is true of Judge Kozinski; keep an eye out for In Camera pictures of him scuba diving with his sons. Answer (d) might be true of Judge Reinhardt, but certainly not of the undernourished Chertoff. 

18. In 2003, Judge Chertoff accepted a gift of two tickets to which of the following events?

(a) a Rolling Stones concert
(b) a Luciano Pavarotti concert
(c) a Shania Twain concert
(d) the Broadway show Avenue Q
(e) the Broadway show Hairspray

Answer: (b). Judge Chertoff accepted two tickets to a Pavarotti concert in Trenton, New Jersey, from one Geoff Berman. For additional information, including disclosure of the other gifts received by Judge Chertoff, see his financial disclosure report (pdf). Judge Chertoff's gifts are few in number and modest in value; perhaps he needs some lessons from Justice Thomas in this department! 

********************

So, how did you do? Giving yourself one point for each correct answer, measure yourself against the following scale:

18: one of the Elect (perfect score required, natch)
16-17: feeder judge clerk
13-15: circuit court clerk
9-12: district court clerk
5-8: state court clerk
0-4: most foul of the Great Unwashed

As you can tell from the foregoing discussion, Judge Michael Chertoff is an amazingly brilliant and talented individual, even by the astronomically high standards of the federal appellate bench. And even though Judge Chertoff is a fairly private person, he can't hide the fact that he's a fun and fascinating individual "underneath his robe." A3G wishes him the best of luck in his quest for Senate confirmation!

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