Underneath Their Robes

Judicial Birthday Watch: Remembering Chief Justice Rehnquist

This past Saturday would have been the 81st birthday of Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, who was born on October 1, 1924. A3G joins Kanecitizen in taking a moment to remember the late Chief, and to wish WHR's successor and former law clerk, Chief Justice John G. Roberts, the best of luck in his new position as leader of the Third Branch.

(By the way, as noted by Lyle Denniston, the timing of the Harriet Miers nomination announcement was somewhat puzzling -- it served to completely overshadow Chief Justice Roberts's investiture and his first day on the bench.)

Belated Birthday Wishes, Justice Souter!

On behalf of the UTR readership, Article III Groupie would like to wish Justice David H. Souter a belated happy birthday! A little over a week ago, on September 17, 2005, DHS turned 66 years old.

A3G has a birthday gift for Justice Souter. She will now remind the world that, contrary to popular belief, Justice Souter no longer lives with his mother. Although DHS still resides in the Souter family farmhouse -- which is looking pretty down at the heels these days, and which may soon be the subject of post-Kelo eminent domain proceedings -- his mother no longer lives there with him. According to the Supreme Court Historical Society bio of Justice Souter,* his mother now "lives near the family farmhouse, in a retirement community." (The fact that he no longer resides with his mother will surely improve the dating prospects of the #4 Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary.)

(Update: This post is the subject of a correction. Helen Souter did move to a local retirement community, but then she passed away.)

So once more, with feeling: Happy Birthday, Justice Souter!

* Speaking of Souter biographies, David Hackett Souter, the new book by Professor Tinsley E. Yarbrough, is now available.

Judicial Birthday Watch: Happy Birthday, Justice Breyer!

Today Justice Stephen G. Breyer, A3G's favorite among the four liberal justices, celebrated his 67th birthday. As Howard Bashman noted, 67 is "[t]he perfect age to stop being the 'junior' Justice." So Happy Birthday, Justice Breyer!

For more on Justice Breyer's early life, check out this very interesting bio, which has the following juicy tidbits:

Stephen Gerald Breyer was born on August 15, 1938 in San Francisco, California. Only one generation from poverty, Breyer's middle-class family lived frugally. Breyer's father, Irving Breyer, worked as a lawyer and legal counsel for the San Francisco Board of Education. His mother, Anne, spent most of her time as a volunteer for the San Francisco Democratic Party and for the League of Women Voters.

Although Breyer's parents sent him and his brother to religious school, the family did not observe their Jewish faith strictly. Instead, his parents pushed Breyer towards academic success. Anne Breyer also encouraged young Stephen to be well-rounded and avoid becoming overly bookish. She insisted that Breyer play sports even though he demonstrated little athletic ability. At a camp one summer, Breyer won the nickname Blister King for his tender feet. Still, Stephen Breyer persevered and achieved modest success. At age 12, he attained Eagle Scout and became known as the "troop brain."

"The Blister King" attended public elementary and high schools in San Francisco, including the prestigious Lowell High School, before heading off to Stanford (from which he received his bachelor's degree with "Great Distinction"). Then "The Troop Brain" went off to Oxford as a Marshall Scholar, followed by Harvard Law School and a Supreme Court clerkship with Justice Goldberg. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Although he's originally from the Bay Area, these days Justice Breyer is officially a resident of Massachusetts. As noted here (see item #2), earlier this year he dutifully showed up in Marlborough, MA, for jury service. (Alas, he was not selected.)

Is Justice Breyer off teaching in some exotic locale for the summer, or is he back at One First Street? If the latter, then perhaps he went out earlier today for a celebratory lunch with his clerks? If you have any info about how Justice Breyer (or any other Supreme Court justice) celebrated his birthday, please drop A3G a line!

Justice Stevens's OT 2005 Clerks (and Happy Birthday, JPS!)

Article III Groupie continues to be underwater at work and without much time to blog. If you need any further evidence of this, consider her complete failure to blog about the dénouement of "Guidogate" (which ended with Judge Calabresi receiving the proverbial slap on the wrist).* Nor has A3G blogged about David Garrow's fascinating new article in Legal Affairs, concerning Justice Harry Blackmun's excessive reliance on his law clerks during his time on the Supreme Court.**

But A3G soldiers on, trying to keep her head above water in the office while doing a minimal amount of blogging. She realizes that she has been neglecting her email, for which she apologizes. Please rest assured that she does read and appreciate your messages, even if she never responds to them.

As proof that she does read her email, despite her failure to reply, she offers you this informative message:

Love the recent posts. Keep up the good work. I do hope that you'll give a shout-out today to Justice John Paul Stevens, who celebrates his 85th birthday today. I feel that he was slighted in your super-hotties of the federal judiciary contest, especially given his astounding collection of super trendy bow ties, but I'm sure that a shout-out from A3G to the most mature member of the current Court would more than make up for it.

Most excellent! A3G sends Justice Stevens the warmest birthday wishes that Judicial Birthday Watch can muster. She notes for the record that JPS shares a birthday with the luscious Carmen Electra.***

(An aside: How will JPS's birthday be celebrated at One First Street? A3G envisions Justice O'Connor, clad in cowboy jeans and boots, marching around the justices' conference table and rapping, "Hey J.P., it's your birthday! We gon' party like it's yo birthday! We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday!")

Now that we've raised the subjects of (1) Supreme Court clerks and (2) Justice Stevens, there could be no better time to announce JPS's clerks for the October Term 2005! Please give a big round of applause to these four outstanding young lawyers:

1. Jean Galbraith (Boalt '04/Tatel Tot)

Tidbits:

(a) she was editor-in-chief of the California Law Review during 2003-04;
(b) she was one half of a team who played Justice Souter in Professor Jesse Choper's Supreme Court Seminar, a class in which students (in the roles of the justices) discuss actual cases before the Supreme Court, and then, as part of the class, draft "opinions" representing the views of their justices;
(c) she was a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa for two years after college (UTR's tipster: "Gambia?");
(d) she is a descendant of renowned economist John Kenneth Galbraith ("granddaughter or great-granddaughter?"); and
(e) she was a 2003 summer associate at Altshuler Berzon, the super-elite, super-left-wing San Francisco law firm (and yes, the former home of that Berzon, a.k.a. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, whose husband, Stephen P. Berzon, remains at the firm).

2. Daniel Lenerz (Stanford '02/M. Thompson (M.D. Ala.) '02-'03/S. Williams '03-'04)

Tidbits:

(a) he's currently working in the U.S. Attorney's Office in San Diego;
(b) he is a Sagittarius;
(b) he is "an exceptional breakfast cook";
(c) his hobbies include reading, lifting, running, drinking, watching movies, sleeping, and baking; and
(d) his taste in music (e.g., Wilco, Modest Mouse) is better than his taste in movies (e.g., overrated films like Lost in Translation and The Graduate).

3. Sarah Eddy McCallum (Oxford/Georgetown '02/Rakoff '02-'03/Walker '03-'04 (2d Cir.))

Tidbits:

(a) she did her law degree at Oxford, where she was a Rhodes Scholar, then continued her studies at Georgetown;
(b) she was "a closet thespian who toured in exotic places such as
Japan and, erm, Bosnia";
(c) she is "a former competitive downhill ski racer";
(d) since the end of her clerkship for Judge Walker, she has been at corporate law powerhouse Wachtell Lipton, in New York; and
(e) her husband, theater director Davis McCallum, is a fellow Rhodes Scholar, and her father-in-law is Associate Attorney General Robert McCallum, Jr..

4. Sam Spital (Harvard '04/Edwards)

Tidbits:

(a) he was voted most likely to be a Supreme Court justice by the Harvard Law School graduating class;
(b) at HLS, he was editor-in-chief of the Harvard Civil Rights-Civil Liberties Law Review;
(c) he was also "the right-hand man to Harvard legends Larry Tribe and Lani Guinier" (perhaps Sam helped Professor Tribe out with legal research -- but hopefully not too much);
(d) Sam's hobbies and interests include travel, civil rights, art, public space, and football;
(e) rumor has it that "he doesn't eat any food beginning with 'P'";
(f) he is "an emerging expert on voting rights law," and "destined to be one of the great civil rights leaders of our generation"; but
(g) he can be "a bit of a heartbreaker."

If you question the "heartbreaker" comment, just look at Sam's picture. Those bedroom eyes put Constantine Maroulis's to shame! But Sam's eyes are also marked by a somewhat somnolent quality, reminiscent of the dearly departed Lindsey Cardinale...

Congratulations to Jean Galbraith, Dan Lenerz, Sarah McCallum, and Sam Spital. A3G wishes them a wonderful clerkship year with Justice Stevens!

* Hat tip: How Appealing, of course. For more detail, check out the Judicial Council's decision (pdf). The opinion mentions a complaint against Judge Calabresi that A3G was not previously aware of: a charge that "on May 23, 2004, the Judge's wife attended a protest against the President and the war in Iraq, [where] she said that 'she was protesting on behalf of herself and her husband' (identifying him by title, court and name)."

** Hat tip: this post at the promising new PrawfsBlawg blog, where "[a] group of young legal turkeys offer[] their thoughts on law and the things that really matter in life."

*** Who is Carmen Electra's favorite Supreme Court justice? If A3G had to guess, she'd offer this -- perhaps surprising -- response: Justice Scalia! Ms. Electra has been quoted as follows:

I'm more attracted to a stronger man rather than a feminine man. Someone who would just throw me down and take control. I love feeling helpless. I definitely like a man who is aggressive and confident.

"[A]ggressive and confident"? Justice Scalia, if the robe fits, wear it! If you want to see aggression at its finest, read his brilliant, scorching dissent in Morrison v. Olson, 487 U.S. 654 (1988), which is one of A3G's all-time favorite opinions.

Judicial Birthday Watch: Birthday Baci for Guido!

Article III Groupie is a day late (and more than a few dollars short). But she can't miss this opportunity to bestow birthday baci upon Judge Guido Calabresi (a.k.a. "Guido") of the Second Circuit. This past Monday, October 18, Guido turned 72. Happy Birthday, Guido!

Last week, a reader in New Haven provided A3G with this report concerning the birthday festivities for Guido planned by students in his torts class at Yale Law School:

The 51 1Ls who comprise Guido's Torts class at YLS will throw a surprise birthday party for him this Monday morning. The plan, thus far, is as follows: We walk into class, and for the first 15 or 20 minutes or so, no one will say a word. Then, one of Guido's favorite 1Ls will raise his hand to answer a question. He will answer semi-coherently. When Guido, who is having hearing problems, walks over to hear him better (as he always does), the student will yell: "That reminds me of a song I used to sing when I was little... every year... on my birthday." At this point the whole class will burst into Happy Birthday - IN ITALIAN! People will bust out their party hats and noisemakers, and enjoy Italian pastries and gelato.

Yesterday all went according to plan, according to UTR's correspondent:

A student from Utah raised in hand in class and began the birthday tune in Italian. We had fresh gelato from an Italian pastry shop in Wooster Square, fresh Italian cheesecake, a birthday cake made especially for Guido by one student's young child, and five dozen Dunkin' Donuts. The 90-minute lecture turned into story time (which happens often), and Guido recalled a lot of personal and family stories, which I don't think I am at liberty to share.

During "story time," Guido touched on what this reader referred to as "the Justice Thomas portrait affair" (which you can read about in this article from the Washington Post, part of a fascinating two-day series about Justice Thomas that A3G recommends most highly; the various articles have been collected here and here by How Appealing). According to the Post piece, Justice Thomas, class of 1974, refused to allow a portrait of him to be hung in the Yale Law School library--where portraits of five past justices who graduated from or taught at Yale can be found--in "silent protest against what he still considers Yale's failure to back him against Anita Hill, a Yale alumna, during his bitter 1991 confirmation hearings."

Birthday boy Guido, however, shared this comment with his students: "I am not so sure Thomas has any say in whether we put up his portrait." As explained by UTR's correspondent, "it's more of a money issue. Presidents, Justices, and Chief Circuit Judges have automatic permission" to have their portraits hung in the library, but the school does not pay to commission their portraits (in contrast to the portraits of YLS deans, which the school does pay for). Thus, per UTR's source, whether Justice Thomas's portrait ends up in the YLS library "is up to Thomas only in that if he wants it, he can make arrangements to fund it. If the school finds some other way to fund it, then Thomas has NO say. [Even if Thomas] doesn't [want his portrait hung], but someone else funds it, then Thomas has no say."

In addition, this same correspondent reports that this past Sunday, Guido hosted his class at "Guido Farm," his 140-acre country estate. The sprawling acreage appears to be the main attraction; the house itself is "modest, old, Italianesque." Guido served homemade lasagna and salad and took his young charges on a two-mile hike through the forest.

And now, a bit of backtracking. For those of you who don't recall, or who were not yet reading UTR at the time, A3G blogged in great detail about Guido back in this post, "Kiss Me, Guido." This post, one of UTR's most controversial, generated many responses from A3G's readers, including some rather critical ones. (The post certainly raised A3G's profile in the blogosphere, demonstrating the truth of the old adage, "The fastest way to become famous is to throw a brick at someone famous.")

A long time ago, A3G promised to address reader comments about "Kiss Me, Guido," but she never got around to it. So, with apologies for the delay, she will now discuss them briefly here.

First, many readers wanted to know, "Why Guido?" There was speculation that A3G had some axe to grind with Guido. Some suggested that she was a frustrated clerkship applicant to Guido, while others wondered whether she might be a Yalie who got a bad grade in his torts class.

A3G must emphasize that she has nothing against Guido personally. To be perfectly honest, her selection of Guido was politically motivated. She therefore pleads guilty as charged to the allegations in the following, rather colorful letter from a state court clerk:

Word up dog, or as you white people would say, greetings from a New York ghetto (i.e., the NY Court of Appeals). Yo, why are you trying to diss my man Guido? What's up with that? Don't make me open a can of wop [sic] ass on you. When it comes to that guy you consider your pimp whose last name I am not going to bother trying to spell, you pile on the bull. But when it comes to Guido, a liberal, you pee all over his brand new shoes, and then tell that it is not your urine, but water from the heavens. I think you deserve a b[enc]h-slap, but that's just me. After all, what else are groupies for anyway?

As A3G has previously confessed in these pages, she is conservative. Guido, of course, is the #1 liberal feeder judge, as well as an outspoken critic of President Bush, going so far as to compare the president to Mussolini and Hitler. Should it come as any surprise that A3G selected Guido as a target, um, topic for discussion? And should anyone be surprised by A3G's refusal to prepare comparable profiles for conservative jurists like Judge Alex Kozinski or Judge Frank Easterbrook, two subjects suggested by her readers as ripe for her scrutiny? (A3G would be especially reluctant to criticize Judge Kozinski. You don't bite the hand that feeds you!)

Second, some readers were troubled by the tone of "Kiss Me, Guido." These comments from a reader are representative:

I confess I was a little taken aback by the tone in some places. You were properly careful to temper your criticisms with statements of regard for the work of Professor Calabresi and Dean Calabresi, and rightly so. Still, at times your prose, normally delightfully snarky, had rather an acid taste to this tempered admirer of the Guido I knew (as dean, to be sure, not as Judge). But I suppose I am always free to set up my own Web site and write my own profile. And I did recognize the Guido I know in your Guido, every last quirk in place. (As far as I know, though, your theory -- facetious? -- about an unloved infant Guido later seeking praise from all is not founded. The behavior -- yes, certainly. But not the cause. Possibly his parents held out impossibly high standards? Well, armchair speculation.)

Shortly after she wrote "Kiss Me, Guido," A3G was feeling quite defensive about it, so she was not yet ready to process criticism. With the benefit of hindsight and the passage of time, she now admits to making some stylistic miscalulcations. A3G prides herself on calibrating her writerly tone with great precision, to produce a distinctive voice that is definitely irreverent, even "snarky," but not downright nasty. In rereading "Kiss Me, Guido," she sees that perhaps she may have crossed the line into nastiness in that post. (It should be noted, however, that some of the harshest comments about Guido appear in direct quotations from her readers.) And so she would now like to apologize, to her readers and to Guido, for her transgressions.

Finally, some readers suggested that "Kiss Me, Guido" was less about Guido and more about A3G, as well as too "heavy" or "deep" for an irreverent, ironic, and superficial blog like UTR. Consider this letter:

I have been highly entertained by your fresh, original blog. You manage to write with intelligence and wit, but within a relatively restrictive literary form--pop culture gossip rag--that usually displays neither attribute. I particularly loved the super hottie competition.

But my reaction to Guido's story was different. I found it very moving, but less with respect to Guido, than to you. Frankly, even within the context of your E! channel sensibility, I found the discussion a bit unseemly. Engaging in arm-chair psychoanalysis (though I suspect you are quite right) in a very personal criticism of his behavior seems to me to be quite different from the obviously tongue-in-cheek discussions of relative "hotness." I usually have a pretty high tolerance for edgy humor, but this seemed too personal, your qualifications and disclaimers notwithstanding. Perhaps I am becoming an uptight fuddy duddy in my dotage, I don't know. I llike the Buddhist saying: Generally, it is more important to be kind than it is to be right.

You seemed to acknowledge that the narrative -- your choice of what to say and how you said it -- expresses more about you than it does about him. Perhaps because I share and have not come to terms with some of feelings you express -- being among the great unwashed, as a lowly former 3d Circuit clerk, who left a top 5 Wall Street firm before partnership consideration, which was not a realistic possibility, and who since has more or less Daddy-tracked himself into professional underachievement. I wonder more about you than the judges you write about. You hint at some very fundamental questions about how one should live one's life, what goals one should set and how to choose those goals, how one should deal with disappointments, and whether being disappointed in the first instance is ever a useful reaction to life events.

Maybe that sort of self-expression belongs elsewhere -- you are, in effect, the Joan Rivers of the judicial red carpet, and no one expects her to segue from discussing Julianne Moore wearing Vera Wang to Susan Sontag on literary criticism.

Just some rambling thoughts from a loyal and appreciative reader.

A3G thanks the reader who sent her this very eloquent and thoughtful letter. She agrees that some of the discussion in "Kiss Me, Guido" is somewhat discordant with the typical contents of "Underneath Their Robes," and she will do her best going forward to maintain a tone that is as fun and frivolous as possible.

Before she abandons substance completely, however, A3G would like to leave you with some Reflections on Life, which she has been prompted to share by the series of profound questions raised near the end of her loyal reader's missive. Before doing so, she must issue a "Spoiler Alert": if you're in a good mood right now, stop reading here, before the depressive A3G ruins it for you.

********************

Still here? Okay, you've asked for it--don't say she didn't warn you! In a nutshell, here's A3G's Philosophy of Life:

1. Some people are Important. Within the legal profession, the ranks of the Important include federal judges, Supreme Court clerks, and a handful of others who have, by dint of their professional achievement, managed to transcend their Great Unwashed status (e.g., Ted Olson, David Boies). The rest of us--including A3G--are Unimportant.

2. For the Important, Life is a never-ending parade of triumphs and joys. Victories follow one after the other, in rapid succession; everything they touch turns to gold; their paths are showered with rose petals.

3. For the Unimportant, including yours truly, Life is an entirely different affair. To be sure, the Unimportant can try to walk through the brick wall that separates them from the Important; we can try our best to become federal judges, or the next Olson or Boies. The chances of that happening, however, are exceedingly low.

4. And so, for the Unimportant, Life is the process of coming to terms with our own mediocrity. Life is what we call that intervening period of years--between youth, before the doors have closed in our faces, and death, the great and merciful equalizer--during which we struggle to make our peace with our own insignificance.

One of the best ways to achieve some measure of contentment is to create a false consciousness within yourself, by convincing yourself that because you have "subjective" importance, i.e., importance within a limited sphere--you're important to your spouse, or your kids, or your clients--you are therefore just as worthy a human being as people with objective or widespread importance, i.e., "the Important," capital "I." There is nothing wrong with this effort at self-brainwashing. Indeed, it is a dignified and noble response to the disappointments of life--certainly more dignified than airing your psychological dirty laundry in the blogosphere, which is what Article III Groupie does...

Not Listening to Her Prozac,

Article III Groupie

P.S. Yes, A3G realizes that people come to "Underneath Their Robes" seeking humor and entertainment, not gloomy musings. She believes, however, that comedy and suffering are profoundly and inextricably linked. She also hopes that these glimpses into her disordered mind are at least interesting or engrossing for her readers--admittedly in a somewhat lurid way, like a car accident that you can't stop staring at...

Judicial Birthday Watch: Chief Justice Rehnquist's Birthday Horoscope!

Judicial Birthday Watch sends warm birthday wishes to Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist (a.k.a. "the Chief" or "WHR"). As noted here (via How Appealing), last Friday, October 1, 2004, the Chief celebrated his 80th birthday. Happy Birthday, Mr. Chief Justice!

Article III Groupie realizes that she is a week late in extending birthday greetings to Chief Justice Rehnquist. To make up for her tardiness, A3G offers the Chief a gift: his birthday month horoscope!

Born on October 1, 1924, the Chief is a Libra. Review of this analysis shows that WHR is a typical Libra in many ways. Due to their diplomatic nature and their strong critical faculties, Libras often enjoy success as administrators and lawyers; as the Chief Justice of the United States, WHR finds himself at the pinnacle of the legal-administrative pyramid. His Libra nature is also reflected in the way he carries out his duties as Chief. For example, Libras "do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions" and "detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them." As a Libra, the Chief runs a tight ship when the justices meet in conference, keeping discussion and argument to a minimum.

Indeed, the Libra profile is an accurate description of WHR in even the smallest details. The Chief's chronic back pain, which sometimes causes him to stand up and stretch during Supreme Court oral arguments, is par for the Libra course: "Libra governs the lumbar region, lower back and kidneys. Its subjects must beware of weaknesses in the back, and lumbago, and they are susceptible to troubles in the kidneys and bladder." (Hmm... Could the Chief be wearing Depends underneath his robe?)

To obtain the Chief's birthday month horoscope, Article III Groupie visited her favorite astrology website, Astrology Zone, written by the highly regarded Susan Miller. This month's forecast for the Libra sign contains some interesting comments and predictions for the Chief, which A3G excerpts below in pertinent part.

The Chief's astrological chart for this month begins as follows (capitalized emphases in the original):

What a fabulous birthday month! With FIVE planets stacking up in your sign-Jupiter (outstanding luck), Mars (energy and special favor), Mercury (communication), the Sun (favor from authority) and the new moon solar eclipse (opportunity) - you will finally get things YOUR way. . . . If, at any time during this month you feel a little flustered with all the attention you are attracting, that would be understandable. But get used to it, dear Libra. This type of favor will be around for a LONG time.

That WHR will "get things [HIS] way" and attract tons of attention should come as no surprise. After all, he's the Chief Justice of the United States! But Chief Justice Rehnquist's rosy chart for October 2004 could also signify that OT 2004 will be a good one for the Chief, a Term in which he'll find himself in the majority on the most important cases. Perhaps he'll be able to hold on to the centrist justices, Justice Kennedy and Justice O'Connor, while coaxing the straying Justice Scalia back onto the conservative reservation.

With the presidential election only a few weeks away, Washington has been seized by speculation over how the composition of the Supreme Court will change in the next presidential administration. Everyone wants to know: Is retirement in the cards for Chief Justice Rehnquist? Is the Chief eager to hang up his robe? Although liberal Court-watchers might like to see Chief Justice Rehnquist depart as soon as humanly possible, even in the middle of the Term, the stars offer the Chief different counsel:

[I]n the coming thirteen months Jupiter will make you a little lazy. Jupiter tends to have such a calming effect, it practically puts you to sleep! After all you've endured over the past few years [e.g., the bitter controversy engendered by Bush v. Gore], you might say, "Oh, I don't care - a nap sounds good." But you can't do that, dear Libra - and it would be a shame if you did! Don't lose your will to keep working hard, and don't take ANYTHING for granted. You can see how easy it would be for that to happen. Stay grateful!

So the stars are apparently telling the Chief "to keep working hard" during this Term, which roughly spans "the coming thirteen months," and not to give in to his laziness (e.g., by writing opinions even shorter than his typically oracular pronouncements). But does WHR need to stay beyond the end of this Term? Chief Justice Rehnquist's horoscope offers the following, startlingly prescient comments relating to the timing of his departure from the Court:

It is clear by your chart that you won't have complete freedom of movement this month when it comes to career, and won't for a few more months. Saturn will leave this sticky position on July 16, 2005, and when it does you will be in prime position for a handsome career reward.

These comments make perfect sense. Given that the new president won't take office until January, WHR isn't going anywhere "for a few more months." But in or around July 2005--i.e., shortly after the end of OT 2004--the Chief will attain "freedom of movement" with respect to his career. Based on what the stars are saying, A3G predicts that Chief Justice Rehnquist will announce his retirement after OT 2004 concludes, to claim the "handsome career reward" of his full salary, as well as historical distinction as one of the longest-serving chief justices in the history of the Court.

But the Chief may not have completely smooth sailing between now and his retirement. The Chief's chart offers this warning:

Saturn, now in your tenth house of career, is about to get cranky, and that means your boss [the American people?] will continue to heap you with too much responsibility. It is clear you are working very hard. Sometimes Saturn's position in the tenth house brings on a political situation in the office, not of your making.

"A political situation in the office, not of your making"? Hmm, this sounds like an awful lot like Bush v. Gore! Could this fall bring with it a new round of Supreme Court litigation concerning a disputed presidential election? According to the planets, it's quite possible. (Also check out this post, "Is Colorado the new Florida?", over at Politics Blog.)

Finally, the stars have the following comments on Chief Justice Rehnquist's love life:

Romantically, the month's extraordinary buildup of planetary energy in Libra will put the spotlight squarely on you, giving you a sexy, perky magnetism that will quickly put others under your spell. Arrange your schedule so that you can be out and about a bit more than usual. This is no time to hide your light under a barrel!

What could these comments possibly mean for Chief Justice Rehnquist? Well, in order to predict the Chief's future, we must understand his past. Some ten years ago, around the spring of 1994, the Chief was romantically linked to Judge Cynthia Holcomb Hall of the Ninth Circuit. Could it be time for the Chief to reignite his rumored romance?

Washingtonian magazine had the following to say about Chief Justice Rehnquist and Judge Hall back in 1994:

Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who has been giving some thought to retirement from the Supreme Court, has a new love interest -- and some say a new bounce to his step.

Rehnquist, 69, is romantically involved with Cynthia Holcomb Hall, 65, a judge on the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco. When she's in town, she's been seen in the Supreme Court's guest seats.

The romance is said to be bad news for liberals. Since the death of his wife two years ago, Rehnquist hadn't been enjoying his job, and he was considering retirement. Now Hall is encouraging him to stay on the court, at least until the 1996 election. After that, his supporters say, he may leave only if a Republican is elected president.

The Rehnquist-Hall romance was noted in other publications as well, resulting in such groan-inducing headlines as "Legal Eagle Lovebirds," "Law and Ardor," and A3G's personal favorite, "Rehnquist Finds Circuit Judge Appealing." In June 1994, the Washington Post reported that "[l]egal circles have been buzzing about the couple for months," but noted that "a court source yesterday cautioned against jumping to conclusions."

Tony Mauro, living up to his UTR-bestowed title as "the Liz Smith of One First Street" (that's a compliment), had the dish on the couple's history and similar backgrounds. In a piece for the Legal Times, he wrote: "Both are widowed, both are Stanford Law School graduates, and they've known each other for some years through Judicial Conference meetings and the like. Rehnquist is 69; Hall is 65." Sounds to A3G like the perfect foundation for a November-November romance!

When asked about their relationship at the time, Chief Justice Rehnquist and Judge Hall both declined comment. But Judge Hall's statement was a bit more revealing than the Chief's: "I certainly would not comment on anything concerning my personal life, or his."

Well, well--very interesting! That's the most substantive "no comment" that A3G has ever heard, the "no comment" equivalent of "When did you stop beating your wife?" Judge Hall might as well have said, "I decline to comment on the hot-and-heavy romance that the Chief Justice and I are carrying on under our robes. And if you think you can get me to comment on the size of his rather impressive gavel, you are sorely mistaken!"

Despite the rumors, the Rehnquist-Hall romance never made it to the next level (in contrast to the that of Fifth Circuit Chief Judge Carolyn Dineen King and her colleague Judge Thomas M. Reavley, who were married on August 22, 2004; hey, does anyone know where they are registered?). One can only wonder what led Chief Justice Rehnquist and Judge Hall not to pursue things further. Chief Justice Rehnquist is a Libra; Judge Hall, born on February 19, 1929, is a Pisces. In astrological terms, a Libra-Pisces romance is unconventional, but not out of the question. The stars offer these insights to a Libra like the Chief contemplating a relationship with a Pisces like Hall:

There are many ways this union could work, even though astrological textbooks might turn down their nose at it. Pisces is a creative and highly sensitive sign and would relate to your refined nature. . . . Of the two, you are the realist and better at finding practical solutions, and your lover will provide you with the inspiration and vision to do so. . . . Sexually, you will be touched by the depth of feeling you experience together, the care your Pisces takes in giving you pleasure, and the exquisite aura that will be wrapped around you. This is one lover to have and to hold. Give it a good try.

In the end, only WHR and Judge Hall will know what they felt for each other, deep in the hearts beating under those robes. But A3G can certainly speculate! (N.B. The indented paragraphs below are fictionalized.)

Spring 1994. OT 1993 is nearing its end, and Judge Hall has flown out to Washington to watch an oral argument at the Court--and to spend time with Chief Justice Rehnquist. After the argument, the two judges retire to his chambers to discuss their future. After a long conversation filled with pain and longing, they conclude that they cannot attempt a long-distance relationship, given the demands of their judicial offices. And so they must make an excruciatingly difficult choice between their relationship... and their robes.

The Chief is ready to cast off his robes for the sake of love; he proposes announcing his retirement at the end of the Term and joining Judge Hall in California. But the conservative Judge Hall, who wants the Chief to continue leading "the Rehnquist Revolution" at the Court (and bench-slapping her loopy leftist colleagues when they get out of line), selflessly places the needs of the nation ahead of her own.

"Bill," she says tearfully, "you know I love you. And you know I need you. But the American people need you too. If you step down now, Clinton will appoint some crazy liberal to take your place on the Court. Please, just hang in there--stay on the Court until after the 1996 election. I promise I'll wait for you."

As things turned out, the judicial lovers turned out to be star-crossed, leaving Judge Hall waiting for over a decade. First President Clinton won a second term in 1996, postponing the Chief's departure until 2000. Then came the disputed election of 2000, resolved by the Court in Bush v. Gore, which effectively forced the Chief to stay on until after the 2004 election, for the sake of appearances. (As Ron Klain observed in the Vanity Fair piece on Bush v. Gore, "The justices who ruled for President Bush gave themselves, in effect, a four-year sentence.")

Today, with the presidential election just weeks away, conservative circuit judges around the country are praying for a win by President Bush. Most of them want a Bush win so they can make it to the Supreme Court. But one of them wants a Republican victory for an entirely different reason: so the Chief Justice can hang up his uber-stylish robe for good, leave the pressures of One First Street behind, and return to the loving arms of a certain little old lady from Pasadena.

And so, if all goes well for President Bush, October 1, 2005, might be Chief Justice Rehnquist's happiest birthday in a very long time. Picture him sitting on the patio of a Pasadena mansion, on a lovely and warm California evening, after a wonderful candlelit birthday dinner. Standing in front of him is Judge Hall, wearing nothing but a black judicial robe encrusted with thousands of rhinestones. Judge Hall starts gently crooning, Marilyn-style, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Ex-Chief Justice, Happy Birthday to you!"

The man formerly known as the Chief Justice gets out of his seat, gingerly stretches his lower back, and takes the still-singing Judge Hall in his arms. Caught off guard, she starts giggling like a schoolgirl. He silences her--with a kiss...

Wondering what the stars have in store for her,

Article III Groupie

Judicial Birthday Watch: AMK and AK

In this new UTR feature, Judicial Birthday Watch, Article III Groupie will send birthday greetings to your favorite favorite judges. Please e-mail A3G to alert her of any upcoming judicial birthdays. Interesting or humorous birthday anecdotes, including scandalous tales of judicial birthday blow-outs, are especially welcome.

Today is a very special day for two judicial hotties:

(1) Justice Anthony M. Kennedy of the Supreme Court, who turns 68 today; and

(2) Justice Kennedy's former law clerk, Judge Alex Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit (and Superhottieville), who turns 54 today.

It's a remarkable coincidence that these two judges, who are quite close, have the same birthday (and even the same initials, sort of). Could they be the same person? For those of you who are curious, AK clerked for AMK on the Ninth Circuit from 1975 to 1976. At the time, Judge Kozinski was 25 and Justice Kennedy was 39.

"Underneath Their Robes" and Article III Groupie wish both of these distinguished jurists very happy birthdays! (Or, as they say in Judge Kozinski's native Romania, "La multi ani!")

Birthday hugs and kisses,

Article III Groupie

P.S. Thanks to De Novo for bringing AK's birthday to Article III Groupie's attention, in this post. And thanks to AK for pointing out AMK's birthday.