Underneath Their Robes

Amended Opinions: A Few Corrections and Addenda

Well, that's why they call it gossip! Two other "little birds" have informed Article III Groupie that her prior intelligence concerning Professor William Kelley is incorrect. According to the first source, Professor Kelley is potentially headed for a new position, but not for a seat on the D.C. Circuit. Instead, Kelley may be taking "a high-level, law-related position in the Bush Administration." A second source offers more specific information: "Kelley is going to the White House as a Deputy Counsel. (Perhaps this is a way station for a D.C. Circuit post.)"

A3G has a high degree of confidence in her latest avian advisors, so she apologizes for her apparent error. She would also like to use this occasion to echo the following observations of Professor Randy Barnett: "If I make the slightest factual error in a blog post, I can count on the readers to point it out PRONTO.... And unlike traditional journalism, I have a ready means to correct errors almost instantaneously."

If Professor Kelley doesn't end up at the White House Counsel's Office, A3G notes that the following two positions remain open: (1) Solicitor General, or (2) principal of the Finishing School for the Elect, i.e., Assistant Attorney General for the Office of Legal Counsel. At the current time, both of these posts are held by "actors": Acting SG Paul Clement, and Acting AAG Steve Bradbury. Does anyone have tidbits concerning when these positions might be filled, and who might be filling them?

(If A3G had her pick of these two jobs -- which she never will, since she is one of the Great Unwashed -- she would choose option (1). She would much rather be strutting her stuff at One First Street, showing off her newest pumps to the justices, than issuing an opinion on "whether canteen service provided through the Veterans' Canteen Service ('VCS') is exempt from review under the Federal Activities Inventory Reform Act of 1998, Pub. L. No. 105-270, 112 Stat. 2382 ('FAIR Act').")

While A3G is in the process of correcting and following up on prior posts, she will offer a few additional addenda and interesting reader correspondence. Unlike her correction concerning Professor Kelley, however, these items are rather untimely; some of them relate back to posts that are weeks old. (Their staleness is the result of A3G's hiding from her blog over the past few weeks.)

1. Back in this post, A3G inquired as follows of her readers: "A3G has heard that, in the past few years, Judge [Kim McLane] Wardlaw has been the Ninth Circuit judge most frequently vindicated in the Supreme Court. Can anyone confirm this?"

A reader offered this commendably detailed response:

[Y]ou asked a question about Judge Wardlaw's review rate before the Supremes. Her record is impressive: See Washington Legal Foundation v. Legal Foundation of Washington, 271 F.3d 835 (9th Cir. 2001) (en banc) (Wardlaw, J.), aff'd, Brown v. Legal Foundation of Washington, 538 U.S. 216 (2003) (Stevens, J.); Alaska v. United States EPA, 298 F.3d 814 (9th Cir. 2002) (Wardlaw, J.), aff'd, Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation v. EPA, 124 S.Ct. 983 (2004) (Ginsburg, J.); Altmann v. Republic of Austria, 317 F.3d 954 (9th Cir. 2002) (Wardlaw, J.), aff'd, 124 S.Ct. 2240 (2004) (Stevens, J.); City of San Diego v. Roe, No. 03-1669 (Dec. 6, 2004), rev'd, 356 F.3d 1108 (Wardlaw, J., dissenting).

Another reader furnished this additional information:

In terms of the #2 Superhottie's record before the Supremes, there was a pretty heated discussion over on the Greedy Clerks board a few months back that cited her record (you previously referred to it in one of your prior posts). It has all the 411....

However, because I know you value the truth, despite my overwhelming love for Judge Wardlaw, I must tell you she was once reversed. Yes, it is true. I think the case is Public Citizen -- it involved NAFTA and whether Mexican trucks should be let into the U.S. To make matters worse, it was a 9-0 decision. (But, unlike in San Diego, where a per curiam opinion sufficed, Justice Thomas actually wrote an opinion explaining her error. (As an aside, I believe Judge Reinhardt was on the Public Citizen panel!))

Nevertheless, even with this one-time error, she is 4/5 in authored opinions/dissents getting the nod by the Court. I don't think there is anyone on the Ninth, or any other circuit for that matter, who comes close to her (albeit in recent years).

A3G thanks her readers for this intelligence concerning one of UTR's most favorite judges (whom A3G interviewed, as you may recall, back in November 2004).

2. In this post, A3G commented as follows:

[T]he individual at the James Madison Dinner [of the Federalist New York Lawyers Chapter] who expressed enthusiasm for UTR is believed to be Jodi Balsam, the chief organizer of the dinner. A3G hopes this is the case! Ms. Balsam is a high-powered, conservative female lawyer, as well as a founder of the NYU Federalist Society. She sounds like a woman after A3G's own heart!

And now, A3G is delighted to share with you some correspondence from Ms. Balsam herself:

Dear A3G - I was thrilled to see my name mentioned in UTR’s Dec. 11 post, as undeserving as I am to be included in the same post as so many luminaries of the federal and state benches. Yes, it was I who shared my enjoyment of UTR with another guest at the Federalist Society James Madison Award Dinner. You might even call me an A3G-G, to borrow a phrase from your favorite Tax Court judge. And the answer to your question at the end of your Dec. 6 post is an unqualified yes.

Not that any of your posts have ever disappointed me, I was surprised that you did not mention that Judge Dennis Jacobs of the Second Circuit Court of Appeals also attended the Federalist Society dinner, and in fact co-chaired the dinner committee, giving warm and witty remarks to an appreciative crowd.

If it seems from my detailed recall of your posts that I have way too much time on my hands, you are probably right. Not only am I a member of the Great Unwashed (my clerkships were in the S.D.N.Y. and the Second Circuit Court of Appeals), I am also a member of the great underemployed, having decided to cut back on my law career to raise a family. I’m still making time for my local Federalist Society lawyers chapter, but that hardly makes me a “high-powered, conservative lawyer.” I nonetheless thank you for your kind words and would be privileged to be considered “a woman after your own heart.”

Looking forward to many more delightful UTR posts,

Jodi Balsam

A3G thanks Ms. Balsam for her absolutely delightful missive -- as well as for pointing out the omission of Judge Jacobs from her discussion of the James Madison Dinner. She also commends Ms. Balsam for taking some time away from her legal career to focus on her family. Some of you may be surprised to hear such thoughts from A3G, who may strike some of you as obsessed with her career. But if A3G seems career-obsessed, it's largely because she has nowhere else to direct her energies; she has not yet been blessed with a husband and children. (But she does have a hunky date for Valentine's Day, thanks for asking, and she wishes her readers a belated Happy Valentine's Day!)

3. In the earliest version of her quiz about Judge Michael Chertoff, A3G stated that Eddie Antar of the "Crazy Eddie's" chain of electronics stores would appear in his own television advertisements. This was incorrect; the person who shouted out the store slogan in the TV spots was an actor. A3G thanks the many UTR readers who informed her of this error (which she previously corrected, in the original post).

********************

As you can tell, A3G cares a great deal about accuracy. As a blogger, A3G cannot hide behind the masthead of a mass media outlet. Rather, her credibility is her only currency. She deeply regrets all errors, including her latest mistake concerning Professor Kelley. (But she begs for your indulgence: in the world of gossip, boo-boos are inevitable.)

A3G thanks all of you, her loyal readers, for promptly correcting her when she errs. And she respectfully requests your continued cooperation in helping to make "Underneath Their Robes" as accurate as possible.

Reversed and remanded,

Article III Groupie

P.S. It appears that some people are getting a little tired of reading UTR. To tell you the truth, A3G is getting a little tired of writing it. It's starting to feel stale to her, with a tiresome tone and repetitive jokes. She isn't ready to close UTR down -- the fate of some of her favorite blogs, such as Skallawwag and Curmudgeonly Clerk. But she's going to post less frequently (which she has already started doing), and she's going to stop feeling guilty about it (which she hasn't started doing).

Courthouse Forum: Jeffrey Toobin!

Article III Groupie realizes that she has been neglecting her blog since the start of the new year. To be sure, one of her New Year's resolutions was to spend less time on UTR -- but perhaps she has now moved to the other extreme, spending too little time on her beloved blawg. She has numerous draft posts waiting to be revised and published, countless ideas for posts she hasn't even started drafting, and several weeks' worth of reader mail to reply to.

Part of the blame for her blogging backlog lies with her day job, which has been extremely busy as of late. But A3G is beginning to think that her reluctance to blog and to respond to e-mail -- or even to check her blog e-mail account, where the queue of unresponded-to messages grows longer and longer each day -- may be due to avoidant personality disorder. So please don't be upset at A3G for her inactivity; she can't help herself.

These days A3G will seize upon any excuse for avoiding UTR-related tasks. She rationalized her recent laziness by telling herself that she needed to give the blogosphere time to digest her last, massive post -- a deliciously dishy take on the Federalist Society's National Lawyers Convention. Unfortunately, to A3G's disappointment, only a brave few dared to comment upon or link to her Robing Room Report. But even though her latest post didn't get much of a public reception, A3G knows -- from her well-placed spies -- that it generated significant buzz among the legal profession's chattering class.

Well, now that over a week has passed, A3G no longer has that excuse. But she is still plauged by blogging lethargy. So she'll do what she does whenever she's feeling otiose: she will take someone else's words and reprint them (with permission) in her blog, in Courthouse Forum: Letters to Article III Groupie.

Today's magnificent missive, which also includes a request for information (a.k.a. a UTR Discovery Request), comes from a celebrity who needs no introduction:

Dear A3G,

I am a fan of your blog.  I am writing a book about the Supreme Court, and I wonder if you'd post a note -- or this note -- saying that I would welcome any tips, opinions or leads that your readers may care to offer.  I can be reached at [click here for email address].

Many thanks,
Jeff Toobin

No, you don't need Lasik surgery; yes, you read that correctly. A3G just received fan mail from one of our nation's foremost legal journalists, Jeffrey Toobin! For those of you who have been living in a cave for the past decade, Mr. Toobin is the renowned CNN legal analyst, New Yorker legal affairs writer, and bestselling author of several critically acclaimed books.

A3G encourages you all to contact Mr. Toobin with tidbits for his book on the Supreme Court. To kick things off, A3G offers Mr. Toobin her own shamelessly self-promoting suggestion: Wouldn't UTR, and its reception among federal judges, make a great subject for a brief, breezy, brilliantly funny Talk of the Town piece for The New Yorker? Article III Groupie is ready for her close-up -- and insanely jealous of the New York Times write-up received a few weeks ago by the Anonymous Lawyer blog of Jeremy Blachman (who appears to be parlaying his blog into a career as a television writer).*

Turning Prada green with envy,

Article III Groupie

* Speaking of lawyers-turned-writers like Messrs. Toobin and Blachman, lately A3G has been entertaining thoughts of making such a transition (perhaps out of growing frustration with law firm life). To this end, she requests any editors out there who might be willing to give her some freelance writing work to please e-mail her.

More specifically, would anyone be interested in picking up "So You Wanna Be a Supreme Court Clerk"? The piece is a delightful 1,000-word essay containing A3G's advice to law school gunners concerning how to join the ranks of the Elect.

A3G knows what you're thinking: "Dissembling harlot, you are one of the Great Unwashed. I can smell your foul stench through my computer screen. What do you know about getting a Supreme Court clerkship?" Well, even though A3G can't write from personal experience, her article reflects insights gleaned from years of keen, quasi-obsessive observation of those who have made it to One First Street.

Courthouse Forum: Seasonal Celebrity Correspondence

As you all know from her incessant complaining, Article III Groupie has been somewhat depressed lately. Many factors have contributed to her malaise, including the demands of work, holiday-related stress, and a recent letter she received suggesting that not all of the Elect live happily ever after.

Well, A3G is feeling a little better now. She's still way behind in her Christmas shopping and holiday card writing, but her spirits have been lifted by a few e-mails, which she will share with you in today's Courthouse Forum.

First, nothing brings good cheer like a Christmas missive from a judicial celebrity:

From: Richard Posner
To: Article III Groupie
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 00:51:10 -0600
Subject:

Dear Ms. Groupie,

Very sorry to hear that you're feeling overworked and overwhelmed. Take it easy, and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Richard A. Posner

How delightful! A3G thanks Judge Posner for his lovely note. She may be a member of the Great Unwashed and a lowly law firm associate, but at least she's on Richard Posner's Christmas card list!

(And while she is on the subject of The Giant Hedgehog, A3G would like to mention one other comment from this brilliant jurist. After A3G e-mailed Judge Posner to thank him for entrusting her with breaking the news of The Becker-Posner Blog, he replied: "Thank you--it is very valuable advertising for us. Everyone reads your blog." What a great celebrity endorsement!)

Next, consider this insightful and exceedingly flattering message from one of our nation's most renowned courtroom advocates:

From: [A Legendary Litigator]
To: Article III Groupie
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 12:32:08 +0000
Subject: rest ye merry

Rest ye merry, A3G, this holiday season.  But for 2005 you can ditch at least some of your perennial worries.

First, ditch the one about not being a Supreme Court law clerk.  Hey, I missed out too in what might have been one of the nearest-misses ever, and perhaps the most publicized.  In the end, people knew I had at least been close, so I got all the mileage and never had to stay up late reading cert. petitions.

Second, don't worry about running out of material.  Article III types will continue to provide it.  You are a direct descendant of Charles Warren, I think, and his gossip-laden history of the Court and its Justices shows us that some personality traits that go with "leprosy of the bench" -- as TJ's AG Caesar Rodney put it -- are perennials. JM's tweaking Levi Lincoln during Marbury oral argument is just a small example.  Story's letter home about the arguments in Amistad is another.

I hope you keep on blogging because we need you. There are big questions out there for the robed ones.  We have never needed Article III judging more than right now, in the tradition of Cranch, Johnson, perhaps even Ex parte Merryman, certainly Paquete Habana, certainly when we think of Hirabayashi and Korematsu, yes in the tradition of Learned Hand in Judith Coplon's case [United States v. Coplon, 185 F.2d 629 (2d Cir. 1950)], and so on.  So many of the brethren and sistren are running around in the box they call "the legal mind," fitting parts of ideas together while letting the Executive branch resolve the big issues....

Wow! Article III Groupie does not deserve such praise, but she is certainly gratified to receive it. As for ceasing to fret over not being among the Elect, well, that's easier said than done -- especially when she gets letters like this one (from an unnamed Anointed):

Life as a member of the Elect really is as fantastic as you imagined. Your other correspondent was just trying to make you feel better. Also, there are four fountains in the courtyards at the Court, so that there is less of a wait in line when we have to practice our hydro-ambulatory skills. (The whole thing is a lot like the reindeer-training scene from the Rudolph Christmas special, with [Clerk of Court] Bill Sutter playing the role of Comet with the baseball cap and whistle.)

A3G's reaction to this message, like her reaction to the earlier letter she received from one of the Elect, is mixed. On the one hand, it's depressing to hear about the sensational lives led by the Anointed. On the other hand -- what a relief! This message restores A3G's previously wavering faith in the unlimited power of the legal profession's ultimate credential. Now she can return to being bitter and self-pitying -- which is, after all, what she does best...

Bah, humbug,

Article III Groupie

Courthouse Forum: A Letter from One of the Elect

As you can gather from her recent posts, Article III Groupie is overworked and overwhelmed. But she's not quite ready for her holiday hiatus from blogging; she'd like to issue a few more posts before she disappears from the blogosphere, not to return until 2005.

Since A3G is down in the dumps, this post will be more serious and reflective than the usual UTR fare. And because A3G is completely exhausted, she will let someone else do the work for her -- namely, one of her distinguished correspondents. Today's Courthouse Forum mailbag contains this very interesting letter from a member of the Elect (who shall remain nameless):

Dear Groupie,

Your blog is about the most interesting thing I've seen on the web, and I think that you are an astonishingly good writer. Indeed, I'm intimidated even to be writing directly to you, as I could not display a fraction of your wit and eloquence.

As for me, I happen to be among the ranks of what you call "The Elect," but I am far from the Important -- and getting farther with each passing month. I too am now toiling away in obscurity -- my bonus long having been burned up -- wondering what happened to all of the possibilities, missing the heady days in DC when I would go to parties and be asked: "What do you do?" In the words of the Springsteen song: "Glory days / Well, they'll pass you by, glory days / In the wink of a young girl's eye, glory days." I am increasingly embarrassed to check in with my Justice, never having -- unlike my conquering co-clerks -- any new achievements or glorious triumphs to report.

Wherever you are, I hope this finds you well, and I hope that you are coming to terms with your own demons. I remain plenty busy with mine.

-- Your Devoted Fan

A3G doesn't really know how to react to this thoughtful, oddly touching, and beautifully written missive. Yes, to be completely honest, her schadenfreude causes her to take some pleasure from hearing that life might not be a bowl of cherries for all of the Anointed. But she's not as pleased as one might expect (which may suggest that her soul is not totally beyond redeption). Rather, she is genuinely saddened to hear of someone else strugging -- just as she does every day -- to come to grips with his or her own insignificance.

Article III Groupie is also disturbed by the possible shattering of the myth that the Elect lead lives of never-ending fabulousness. A3G is an embittered member of the Great Unwashed who is unhappy with her lot in life; part of her desperately wants to believe, and needs to believe, that someone out there is having non-stop fun. That "someone," of course, would be each and every member of the Elect.

To learn that this actually might not be the case -- that the party sometimes comes to an end, even for the Anointed Ones -- would be deeply demoralizing to A3G (even if she is not among their ranks). Her view of the world would be fundamentally changed, just as it was when she learned the truth about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy; she would suffer a loss of innocence.

"Supreme Court clerkship fetishism" has caused A3G to think of a job with the justices as a panacea: if only she had gotten that clerkship, then at last she would have been "happy." But what if a clerkship at One First Street doesn't magically solve all the problems in your life? What then?

Oh, it's just too much to fathom! A3G needs a drink...

Enjoying a little nightcap (i.e., self-medicating),

Article III Groupie

A Federal Judicial Ken Jennings: Judge Mark V. Holmes!

As everyone knows by now, after 74 victories and over $2.5 million in prize money, the record-setting winning streak of Jeopardy! champ Ken Jennings recently came to an end. In an episode televised on Tuesday night, Jennings, a computer software engineer from Utah, was defeated by Nancy Zerg, a real estate agent and former actress from California.

Right now you're probably thinking: "Hey, federal judges are pretty smart cookies. Have any of them ever competed on 'Jeopardy!'?" The answer: of course! As is so often the case, the rumors are true: Judge Mark V. Holmes of the U.S. Tax Court (see right) was a "Jeopardy!" contestant. And just as Judge Holmes's former boss, Judge Kozinski, triumphed on the Dating Game, Judge Holmes also acquitted himself well on national television, winning a tidy sum. "Yo Holmes, to Bel Air!"

Now, the clairvoyant Article III Groupie knows what you're thinking. She realizes that Judge Holmes, as a Tax Court judge, is a mere Article I judge. Article I judges are rarely discussed in the pages of "Underneath Their Robes," whose rarefied precincts are generally the exclusive playground of life-tenured, Article III aristocrats. In this case, however, A3G will make an exception, for two reasons: (1) Judge Holmes is very cool, for the reasons identified by "Article I Sycophant" back in this post (see item 3(b)), including his delightful opinion in Calarco v. Commissioner (click here for the opinion (pdf), or here for prior UTR discussion (see item 1)); and (2) the subject of "Jeopardy!" is highly topical, with news of the Ken Jennings defeat splashed all over the newspapers and internet.

In addition, it may only be a matter of time before Judge Holmes joins the ranks of Article III demigods. The well-credentialed Judge Holmes -- a former Kozinski clerk and former Deputy AAG for the DOJ Tax Division -- was recently spotted networking up a storm, over at that legal conservative job fair also known as the Federalist Society National Lawyers Convention. Gazing into her crystal ball, the fortune-telling "Article III Gypsy" sees a lifetime appointment in his future! If Judge Holmes does end up making this move, he would not be the first judge to go from the Tax Court to an Article III court. For example, Judge Cynthia Holcomb Hall served on the Tax Court before joining the Ninth Circuit. (A digression: as you may recall from this post, back in 1994, Judge Hall was romantically linked by several news outlets to Chief Justice Rehnquist.)

Now, back to our story. A3G has fallen behind once again in her blogging, e-mailing, and brief writing, so she will take the path of least resistance: she will yield the floor to her correspondents, so they can tell the tale in their own words.

Some time ago, after reporting the rumor that Judge Holmes had competed on "Jeopardy!," A3G received these tidbits from her de facto co-blogger, Judge Alex Kozinski:

Holmes did, indeed, play on Jeopardy while he was clerking for me -- and won about $22K, as I recall. Among his personal interests, he listed "sheep parts," which prompted a question from Alex Trebek about why this unusual interest. He answered -- with a straight face -- that he had trouble getting dates so his friends encouraged an interest in other species. Noting that Jeopardy is a family show, Trebek chose not to pursue it.

Anyway, that's what I recall from having seen the show many years ago. If you want a confirm, here's his e-mail . . . .

As a responsible blogress, A3G e-mailed Judge Holmes, to check the accuracy of the information she received from The Easy Rider. Judge Holmes responded with an e-mail in which he related the charming tale of his game show exploits, which A3G now excerpts below:

One of the advantages of a Kozinski clerkship is, of course, that he is "Judge to the Stars," and his chambers are only a short drive down the Pasadena Freeway to Hollywood. Pursuing a childhood dream of game show glory, I snuck out to audition for "Jeopardy!" I easily passed the written test but, as is all too commonly true for people destined for tax law, ignominiously failed the personality screening. In my case, I think it was because I honestly answered their question about hobbies by telling my little story about collecting "sheep paraphernalia" (not sheep "parts"). A look of horror quickly descended on the faces of the contestant coordinators, and I was never called back.

Fortunately for me, however, Judge K (who was so very much younger and -- if you can imagine it -- even hotter in those days) had invited me to a second year of clerking, so I was still out in California for the next season of "Jeopardy!" This time I prepared carefully -- taking personality lessons from another clerk (a hypernormal Kansan who is now a distinguished professor at Drake Law School), with the goal of perpetrating a small deceit on those honest Hollywood types. (Well, actually, I just asked him a bunch of "Jeopardy!" personality interview questions and memorized his answers.)

Again, the written test went fine, and apart from when one of the contestant screeners muttered "Didn't we see this guy last year?," I thought I had breezed through the personality interview with stories of my love for the KU Jayhawks and KC Royals. I got called for the show, only to hear Alex Trebek begin my little interview with "Some of our guests collect coins; some collect stamps; but is this right, Mark, that you collect -- sheep paraphernalia?"

I regret to say that, taken unawares by the skilled "Jeopardy!" researchers who clearly had kept me in their database, I actually told the truth -- that, having a hard time finding dates when I started out on Wall Street ("document reviewer" and "sycophantic junior associate" not being the hottest jobs then or now), my friends had in fact encouraged me to consider dating outside my species through their unsolicited gifts of oviphiliana.

It all worked out, though. The returning champion -- who had much better buzzer control than I could ever hope for -- was a psychiatrist who was so taken aback by the possible head case standing next to him that I was able to sweep to victory that day. (Only $17K though -- it was the next day that I lost with $22,000. Damn those popular culture questions!)

My then-new girlfriend (from San Francisco and human), who was in the audience that day, denied all connection with me for a short while, but eventually accepted my proposal and moved back to New York with me.

The whole sordid affair seemed to be safely in the past. Till now...

Baa-baa! What a delightful story! A3G thanks the charmingly self-deprecating Judge Holmes for sharing this amusing anecdote with her readers, despite its somewhat embarrassing aspects. She also invites her readers to e-mail her with any other stories of federal judges competing on game shows or reality shows.

Who is the blawger with the largest shoe collection?,

Article III Groupie

Courthouse Forum: UTR Exclusives from Judge Posner and Judge Kozinski!!!

Article III Groupie has been swamped at work, frantically preparing to escape for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Before she makes her jailbreak, however, she must pass along to you two delicious scoops, exclusive to "Underneath Their Robes," about UTR's two most favorite jurists: Judge Alex Kozinski and Judge Richard Posner!!!

Yes, these two judicial superstars have been covered extensively in these pages in the past.  And yes, A3G is well aware of the dangers of overexposure.  But these tidbits are simply too scrumptious to withhold, so A3G provides them to you now, just in time for incorporation into your Thanksgiving repast.

First, check out the e-mail below from Judge Posner -- part of a larger chain of correspondence between A3G and Judge Posner concerning a proper judicial nickname for him -- in which he reveals his imminent and exciting return to the blogosphere!  As tout le monde knows, Judge Posner guest blogged over at Lessig Blog back in August.

To: Article III Groupie
Subject: Re: A nickname?
From: Judge Posner
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:17:57 -0600

Dear Ms. Groupie, Yes, the debate [with Judge Kozinski before the Copyright Society of the USA] was fun. Judge Kozinski is a genuine original, and I mean that in a wholly positive sense. . . . .

I have been called many things. One of my favorites is "The Giant Hedgehog." The reference is to an essay by Isaiah Berlin in which he divided all thinkers into hedgehogs and foxes, the former having one idea, the latter a lot of ideas: e.g., Dante v. Shakespeare. I was "The Giant Hedgehog" because the person who named me that (a professor -- I forget who) considered my obsession with economic analysis of law excessive.

Incidentally, here's a scoop for your blog. Gary Becker (famous University of Chicago economist) and I are starting a blog, probably next week, called The Becker-Posner Blog. We will be discussing a variety of current topics of mutual interest, but initially just once a week.

Very truly yours, G.H.

WOW!  This is terribly exciting news, and A3G can't wait to welcome The Giant Hedgehog to the blogosphere as a permanent resident. 

Just one quibble, from A3G as self-appointed chief publicist for the federal judiciary: Why is the blog to be called "The Becker-Posner Blog," rather than "The Posner-Becker Blog"?  Sure, Professor Becker does have that "Nobel" thing going for him.  But does he have as many groupies as The Giant Hedgehog?  A3G has taken a few taebo classes in her day, and if resort to violence is necessary to settle this matter, she will take on the president of the Gary Becker Fan Club in hand-to-hand combat.  She will bench-slap him into oblivion!

As you all know, Article III Groupie also corresponds regularly with the #1 Male Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary.  Concerning the debate before the Copyright Society, The Easy Rider agreed with the assessment of The Giant Hedgehog.  In a recent e-mail to A3G, Judge Kozinski wrote, "It was fabulous--great fun.  There's a tape and there will be a transcript, which I can send you so you can read all about yourself."  In another message, he wrote, "BTW, your name was taken in vain several times during the Posner-Kozinski copyright debate.  I'm sure your spies reported to you already, but basically half the introduction by Bill Patry, the moderator, was devoted to mentioning Posner's and my connection to A3G."

And now, the scoop.  Judge Kozinski has informed A3G that he has a piece that will be appearing in the next issue of Legal Affairs (a superb publication that she recommends most highly, by the way).  She has read an almost-final draft, and she must say that it is an excellent essay -- brilliant, funny, and utterly convincing (just like its author).  As a teaser, she will share with you the working title of this provocative piece: "The Appearance of Propriety: The judicial canons have got it wrong.  The real ethical issues facing judges are hidden from view."  She does not wish to steal the thunder of the Legal Affairs crew, so she will not say anything further; she simply urges her readers to keep an eye out for it in the January/February issue.

In the meantime, if you can't wait until then for your Kozinski fix, you can read his recent op-ed, "Don't Split the Ninth Circuit" (link via How Appealing).  The piece was published in the Wall Street Journal and co-authored by the Easy Rider and his decidedly liberal colleague, Judge Sidney R. Thomas -- who may be inheriting the Reinhardtian mantle of "Judge Kozinski's Lefty Sidekick," just as She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will be taking on Judge Reinhardt's role as liberal lion(ess) of the Ninth Circuit.  (Speaking of both Legal Affairs and splitting the Ninth Circuit, check out this spirited online debate over at their delightful Debate Club feature, between Jennifer L. Spreng, a former law clerk to Judge Andrew J. Kleinfeld, and Professor Carl W. Tobias, of the University of Richmond School of Law.)

A3G will close this post with a final bit of judicial correspondence from the Easy Rider.  As many of you may know, Judge Kozinski is quite the movie buff (and more will follow in these pages concerning his cinematic tastes).  For the time being, for those of you planning to spend part of the holiday curled up with the remote control for your DVD player, consider this celebrity endorsement of a movie to rent:

Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 11:17:14 -0800 (PST)
From: The Easy Rider
To: Article III Groupie
Subject: Lungu, etc

A3G: I'm glad you're helping keep the luscious Judge Lungu in the news. Maybe she hasn't got life tenure, but she seems otherwise well endowed. A propos nothing else, except Romania, may I recommend the following Romanian movie, An Unforgettable Summer.

And here is the EZ Rider's comment on the movie:

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0111546/usercomments-5

While not widely available, the movie can be found in the US at better video rental stores. I found by chance and rented it because I'd never seen a Romanian movie (at least not since I left Romania) and was pleasantly surprised. It's a little gem.

Ciao. AK

On behalf of her readers, A3G thanks The Easy Rider for the recommendation of "An Unforgettable Summer," which she hopes to check out sometime soon.  The plot summary reminds her of something that could happen in a big city law firm.  Consider this paraphrase: "An attractive young female associate refuses the flirtatious advances of the assigning partner. As a result, she is reassigned to a brutally bleak and deathly dull document review, where both her relationship with her non-lawyer boyfriend and her humanity are severely tested."

Speaking of work... notwithstanding a reply brief she needs to get drafted, A3G hopes to crank out another UTR post before making herself scarce for the holiday.  But if she doesn't succeed in doing so, she wishes everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving thanks for federal judges,

Article III Groupie

Courthouse Forum: The Dancing Queen of the Ninth Circuit!

"See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing... judge?"

Multiple UTR readers e-mailed Article III Groupie to bring to her attention the delightful Daily Journal profile of Judge Consuelo M. Callahan, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.  For those of you interested in tracking down a hard copy, the piece, entitled "Tough Customer: 9th Circuit Judge Consuelo Callahan Has a Playful Side But Not When It Comes to Sentencing," was written by Pamela MacLean, and it was published on November 2, 2004.

(Shameless plug: as you may recall, earlier this year A3G wrote a piece entitled "In Defense of Superhotties" for the California Lawyer, another publication in the Daily Journal family. You can access the article via this post.)

The stylishly written profile of Judge Callahan begins as follows:

A hoofer with a sense of humor, Callahan likes to surprise judicial and legal gatherings by starting discussions about serious topics and ending with a quip about appellate judges who tap dance around issues. She then pulls off her black robe to reveal a sequined costume and tap shoes.

She's been known to hop on a tabletop or in one case on a judicial bench during these special events and do some pretty impressive steps. "I may be the highest ranking tap dancer in federal court," Callahan said with a grin during a recent interview in her chambers in the Sacramento federal court building. "It is fun and it has a certain shock value."

Sensational!  The idea of a federal appeals court judge ripping off her robe, leaping up onto the bench, and tap-dancing up a storm is making A3G dizzy with intoxication.  (For those of you who have seen the excellent Lars von Trier film Dancer in the Dark, think of the dazzling but disturbing scene in which Joel Grey, playing Czech film star Oldrich Novy, executes a superb tap routine on the bench in the middle of a death penalty trial.)

Drooling over the prospect of photos of a federal judge clad in sequins and tap shoes, A3G sent Judge Callahan the following message:

Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2004 02:55:34 -0800 (PST)
From: Article III Groupie
Subject: Underneath Their Robes
To: Judge Callahan

Dear Judge Callahan:

Greetings. My name is Article III Groupie, and I am the proprietor of the blog "Underneath Their Robes," which provides "news, gossip, and colorful commentary about the federal judiciary."

Numerous readers have brought to my attention your recent profile in the Daily Journal, which I'm planning to discuss in my blog in the near future. You sound absolutely fabulous!

I would just love to get a picture of you in your dancing regalia for my photo feature, "In Camera."  Is there any chance I might be able to obtain a digital photo of you in your dancing shoes?

I hope all is well in Sacramento.

Sincerely,

Article III Groupie

P.S. My internet research did not locate any pictures of you in your dancing gear -- although the pictures of you that I have seen suggest you should have been nominated for UTR's Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest...

Judge Callahan sent A3G the following response, reprinted herein with Her Honor's permission:

Subject: Re: Underneath Their Robes
To: Article III Groupie
From: Judge Callahan
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 21:42:23 -0800

I am afraid you may have me confused with Judge Morrison England of the Eastern District of California, who, rumor has it, is surprisingly light on his feet and gave up a promising dance career for his second love -- the law!  [A3G note: Judge England, captain of the federal judicial football team, played professional football for the New York Jets before going to law school.]

All kidding aside, I am in receipt of your recent "ex parte" communication requesting access to certain photos which may or may not be in existence.  I must deny your request without prejudice, but will entertain a noticed motion to produce an official court photograph at a later date.

In re Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary, thank you for your interest and kind words . . . I believe the people have spoken, and the winners are truly worthy of such an august award.

Best regards,

CMC

WOW!  A3G is certainly disappointed about not getting her hands on a picture of Judge Callahan decked out to dance -- but isn't that a lovely and gracious note?  It manages the impressive feat of being simultaneously witty, funny, and elegant -- which is, according to several UTR readers, fully in keeping with Judge Callahan as its authoress.

Judge Callahan's terpsichorean talent is all the more impressive in light of her record of achievement within the legal profession.  She is a highly accomplished woman, with a long string of "firsts" to her name. As the profile notes:

A little more than a decade ago, Callahan made history in San Joaquin County as the first woman and the first Hispanic to serve as a superior court judge. She topped that four years later, when Gov. Pete Wilson elevated her to the 3rd District Court of Appeal in Sacramento. She became the first judge in 73 years from San Joaquin County picked for the appeal court. She filled the seat left vacant by [resplendent judicial diva] Janice Rogers Brown, who had moved on to the state Supreme Court.

Callahan, born in Palo Alto, now considers Stockton her home. There, she launched her legal career as a county prosecut[rix]. She commutes daily to the Sacramento federal courthouse, the only member of the 9th Circuit with chambers in the Central Valley. . . . .

Her conservative, Republican credentials and Hispanic background came to the attention of President George W. Bush, who made Callahan his third appointee to the 9th Circuit.  The White House touts her as the first of two Hispanic appointments the president has made to the nation's largest appellate court.  She sailed through Senate confirmation 99-0, while two other California nominees have languished in a storm of political opposition.

Very interesting!  Judge Callahan, at 54 years old, is young.  She's a fairly conservative Republican, with prosecutorial experience suggesting she'd be solid on criminal issues.  She has oodles of judicial experience, in both trial and appellate courts, and in both the federal and (admittedly icky) state systems.  Her confirmation hearings were a love-in.  Y su mamá también es Latina... Could Judge Callahan hoof it all the way to One First Street?

If Judge Callahan made it to the Supreme Court, she would add a dose of much-needed style to the Conference.  As noted in MacLean's excellent article, "The 54-year-old Callahan exudes energy. She is a splashy dresser who often glitters with gold jewelry." In other words, with respect to the Court, "if President Bush wants to bling it, Judge Callahan can bring it"!

And it sounds like Judge Callahan wouldn't hang up on the President if he telephoned to offer her a cabin aboard the Judicial Mother Ship.  In her interview with the Daily Journal, Judge Callahan said, in explaining the appeal of the legal profession, "I am a person who does not like to work for other people. I am too opinionated and spunky for that."  Hmm... She likes being her own boss, she's opinionated and spunky -- sounds like she'd make a great justice!  So, dear readers, let's not overlook Judge Callahan when drawing up our Supreme Court short-lists.

A3G believes that if Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist departs the Court, the two most likely candidates to replace him would be Judge John G. Roberts, Jr. (D.C. Cir.) (#5 Male Superhottie) and Judge Samuel A. Alito, Jr. (3d Cir.).  (For a brief in support of Judge Roberts, who as a former WHR clerk may be the sentimental favorite, see Tom Goldstein's great SCOTUSBlog posts here, here, here, and here.  For some interesting thoughts from Dahlia Lithwick concerning why the Chief Justice's job may not be all it's cracked up to be, click here.)

Why does A3G hold this view?  Well, both Judge Roberts (49) and Judge Alito (54) are relatively young, impressively credentialed, and reliably conservative, but not fierily or flamboyantly so.  They would probably vote much as Chief Justice Rehnquist would have, thereby maintaining balance on the Court.  They are younger than Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson III (4th Cir.), who is 60, and they have less ideological baggage and are less personally polarizing than their fellow shortlisters: the Uppity Black Diva, Judge Emilio "No me gusta Roe" Garza, the Horsewoman of the Right-Wing Apocalypse, the Luttigator, and the Kid from Tegucigalpa.

(My goodness, they all sound like federal judicial action figures -- collect them all!  For those of you who aren't familiar with these colorful nicknames, and to increase Google-generated traffic to UTR from people engaged in Supreme Court speculation, A3G will identify the candidates she's talking about by name: Justice Janice Rogers Brown (California Supreme Court), Judge Emilio M. Garza (5th Cir.), Judge Edith H. Jones (5th Cir.), Judge J. Michael Luttig (4th Cir.), and Mr. Miguel Estrada (Gibson Dunn & Crutcher), respectively.)

Very well; by virtue of their staunch conservatism, Judge Roberts and Judge Alito may have an edge over the Dancing Queen when it comes to stepping into the Chief's shoes (or slipping into his striped robe).  The White House will want to pick a strong conservative to replace Chief Justice Rehnquist, and the Senate Democrats, in recognition of WHR's conservatism, may be willing to accept a rather right-wing nominee to replace the Chief.

But what about if another justice -- say, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor -- should step down during President Bush's second term?  Judge Callahan, described here by the Alliance for Justice as a "moderate conservative," would be a perfect demographic fit to replace SOC.  (And, ridiculous though it might be given the Court's miniscule size, isn't it all about demographics?)  Just like Justice O'Connor, Judge Callahan is a moderately conservative woman, from a western state, who would bring to the Court a less federal-o-centric perspective than the average nominee, thanks to her service as a state court judge (as well as her work elsewhere in state government; although she never served as a state legislator like SOC, Judge Callahan did serve in the executive branch, as a prosecutrix).

The Dancing Queen of the Ninth Circuit would also be a good pick to replace Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, on the off chance that Justice Kennedy should depart the Court anytime soon.  Like AMK before his apotheosis, Judge Callahan is a Ninth Circuit judge from Sacramento.  They are also both Stanford alums (undergrad; AMK received his law degree at Harvard, while Judge Callahan went to McGeorge, where Justice Kennedy taught for many years).  Fittingly enough, Judge Callahan also happens to be President of the AMK fan club, i.e., the Anthony M. Kennedy Inn of Court, where she has attained the lofty status of "M[istress] of the Bench" (whips and chains sold separately).

Furthermore, in a few years, Judge Callahan will have even more experience on the federal bench.  As long as she keeps her nose clean and stays out of trouble, i.e., avoids participating in the liberal lunacy of the Nutty Ninth, she may be a viable contender for a High Court slot should one open up in the next few years.

And so, dear friends, when President Bush someday announces the nomination of Judge Callahan to the Supreme Court -- forcing many people who consider themselves to be legal professional insiders to rush to their keyboards and Google her up the wazoo -- don't forget: You read it here first, in the pages of UTR!

"Opinionated and spunky" herself, but a mediocre dancer,

Article III Groupie

UTR Election Day 2004 Edition

My fellow Americans: Greetings from Article III Groupie, in the wake of Election Day 2004. The past few days have been very momentous ones for our nation--as well as busy ones for A3G in the office, which is why she has been away from the blawg world for a little while.

Let's start off with some election-related Judicial SIGHT-ations:

--"On the morning of Election Day, I spotted Judge [Robert B.] Kugler (D.N.J.) at the polls in Haddonfield, NJ. As I was arriving, he was leaving--presumably after voting for Bush, who appointed him to the bench. The District Court here was closed today, so he was enjoying a day off and 'freerobing' it."

--"I saw [former Sixth Circuit judge] Nathaniel R. Jones (again) the day after Election Day, crossing the street in a crosswalk here in Cincinnati. Not terribly exciting, but I can report that he waits for the light before he crosses, and was wearing a very nice black cashmere overcoat. Fabric looks great--very soft. He was yawning and not covering his mouth. But who does when they think no one is looking! Did not appear to be too disconsolate over the Kerry/Edwards loss..."

As for the results of Election Day 2004, La Groupie is generally pleased, although not ecstatic. She recognizes that President Bush is not perfect; it might be more accurate to say she is glad a certain sepulchral senator did not prevail. (But she is disappointed that we won't be getting the magnificently ridiculous Teresa Heinz Kerry as our First Lady, which would have amounted to a hilarious sitcom with a guaranteed run of four seasons.) 

A3G's primary reaction to the election is relief at a clear result. While an election resolved in the courts would surely have generated some juicy judicial gossip--see, e.g., the Vanity Fair article on Bush v. Gore--even A3G believes that gossip can sometimes come at too high a cost.

Obviously A3G is most interested in what Bush's reelection will mean for the federal judiciary, particularly the Supreme Court (especially in light of the news that Chief Justice Rehnquist's cancer may be more serious than originally reported). The Republicans' net gain of four seats in the Senate could make the confirmation process for judicial nominees marginally easier, but since the Republicans are still shy of a filibuster-proof majority, one shouldn't expect too much.  A3G's beloved right-wing judicial divas, for example, probably won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Okay, 'nuff said; A3G will not proceed further down the path of political punditry. After all, she is Article III Groupie, not "Article I and II Groupie" (that would be A3G's idol, Wonkette.)  A3G would much rather talk about glamorous judicial celebrities, appointed for life and accountable to no one, than presidential or congressional candidates, who must pander to the hoi polloi to secure their power. Furthermore, political discussions quickly devolve into substantive policy discussions, and A3G, as you all know, thinks substance is icky. To be sure, she is perfectly capable of providing rigorous analysis when required to do so; they don't pay her the biglaw bucks for nothing. But she'd much rather focus on style over substance!

So, back to UTR's regularly scheduled programming: fawning over federal judicial fabulousness, through the latest edition of Courthouse Forum. A recent message thread over at Greedy Clerks, started by this posting by "Angry White Clerk," is entitled "Posner v. Kozinski." It appears that AWC was clairvoyant in giving his posting such a title. Consider this e-mail, which A3G received last week:

Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004

From: The Easy Rider

To: Article III Groupie

Subject: Be there or be square

Let's say someone built a trap to catch A3G. What would the bait look like? See attached. Ciao. AK

WOW! Posner v. Kozinski, indeed! A3G loves both of these brilliant jurists dearly, and she can't wait to find out who will prevail in this Article III celebrity deathmatch.

Unfortunately, A3G will not be able to attend this clash of the titans, to be held in New York on November 19, 2004. She will have to rely upon intelligence from UTR's correspondents in the field. (Southern Diva of New York, are you out there?) A3G sent her regrets to Judge Kozinski in the following message:

Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 05:38:01 -0700 (PDT)

From: Article III Groupie

Subject: Re: Be there or be square

To: The Easy Rider

Dear Judge Kozinski:

You're absolutely right--what a great (and tempting) event! Thank you for letting me know about it. I will definitely be sharing this with my readers; I won't be able to attend personally, but I will hopefully have spies in the audience for judicial sight-ations purposes...

Best,

A3G

Judge Kozinski, however, made an adverse credibility finding with respect to A3G's RSVP:

Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 14:24:55 -0700 (PDT)

From: The Easy Rider

To: Article III Groupie

Subject: Re: Be there or be square

Well, you *say* you won't be there, but I don't believe you can resist. I'll be on the lookout for a stylishly dressed woman in her late 20s or early 30s, wearing Jimmy Choo shoes, a Hermès scarf, a Prada handbag and with the faintest outline of La Perlas visible through the skirt of her Sonia Rykiel suit. I doubt I'll have much trouble spotting you, but you can count on my discretion not to out you.

Order in the court!  Banging her gavel, A3G must now call a UTR sidebar: the subsequent sizzling missives in this chain are not suitable for publication in these pages. (And A3G has to ask herself: What is up with these naughty judges from Romania?)

On a somewhat different note, A3G would like to share with you a lovely note she received from the wife of a prominent circuit judge (who has not appeared in UTR's pages up to this point). The letter was a response to A3G's depressive "Reflections on Life," which were originally published at the end of this post. A3G is pleased to reprint it here, not just because of the compliments it extends to the perpetually insecure A3G, but also because it is thoughtful and thought-provoking:

Subject: Reflections on Life

Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 09:54:31 -0400

From: [Wife of Prominent Circuit Judge]

To: Article III Groupie

Dearest A3G:

You do, indeed, touch the hearts of many. Probably most of us do not give you enough courtesy by letting you know how much you mean to us. Sorry to have been remiss in that regard.

I was moved, however, to respond to your recent post "Reflections on Life." I, who have never even aspired to be an Important Person, happen to have fallen into clover by marrying one of the Important People (listed by category) in your post. (Indeed, upon hearing of my engagement, one of my former [colleagues] said, "You are soon to become a Very Important Person.") Alas, and alack, one does not become Important by Marriage. That is a status one can achieve only by one's own accomplishments....

That all being said, I must disclose that I have reckoned myself one of the very most fortunate people to be able to mingle among the Important, and to observe them "up close and personal." What I have learned is that your second reflection [i.e., that "For the Important, Life is a never-ending parade of triumphs and joys"] is TERRIBLY AMISS. What distinguishes the Important from the rest of us is not that they never have setbacks, but the way in which they respond to them. Those life events which you listed as failures and proof of mediocrity they either forget about immediately or consider fun challenges to be overcome. It is truly amazing to watch. I am thinking many of them knew they were Important long before they became Important, and simply believed that the things that happened to them could not possibly be bad. Their contentment comes from having done what laid before them the best way they could.

What is curious to me is that you, who are truly IMPORTANT in our lives, could not recognize that fact. You have a loyal national following - even AWC from Greedy Clerks, who does not like chicks. Keep up the good fight, and by the time you are Sandra Day O'Connor's age, you too will be More than Important.

A3G thanks the Easy Rider and the Wife of Prominent Circuit Judge for their entertaining and enlightening letters. She encourages all of her readers to continue sending her delicious morsels of judicial gossip by e-mail (even though she is once again behind in responding to reader mail, thanks to a project at work that flared up earlier this week).

Back to blogging, despite some eye strain problems,

Article III Groupie

Amended Opinions: A Correction from Judge Posner!

Yes, dear readers, it's about that time--time for more Amended Opinions: UTR Corrections and Clarifications. Article III Groupie's latest mistake is highly regrettable, but there is a silver lining to this cloud of error: today's correction flows from further federal judicial celebrity correspondence with A3G.

A few days ago, in this post, A3G discussed the recent visit of that Article III supernova, Judge Richard Posner of the Seventh Circuit, to the law and economics workshop at Harvard Law School. Her post relied in large part upon the reporting of her blogosphere buddy Waddling Thunder, who provided this account of the event (which came to her attention via How Appealing).

Yesterday A3G received the following e-mail, which she reprints with the permission of its author:

To: Article III Groupie

Subject: Plagiarism

From: Richard Posner [e-mail address omitted]

Date: Fri, 22 Oct 2004 17:55:29 -0500

Dear Ms. Groupie, I believe the Harvard student misquoted me on the subject of plagiarism. What I recall saying at the Harvard law and economics workshop is the following, which was intended to be tongue in cheek, and not at all stinging:

"My paper meanders, but at least I wrote it myself. And while naturally I have not acknowledged my predecessors generously, neither have I made a wholesale appropriation of someone else's ideas. But while on the topic of not acknowledging predecessors generously, I have to say that although I cited Professor [Steven] Shavell's article on contract interpretation, I did not acknowledge the importance of the article in stimulating my own desire to explore the economics of contractual interpretation." (Professor Shavell is a good friend of mine and one of the two professors who run the Harvard law and economics workshop.)

This probably is not absolutely word for word what I said, because I was extemporizing, but unless I am much mistaken it is very close to what I actually said. I wish the bloggers (including you, Ms. Groupie) had checked with me before publishing the (alleged) quotation.

Not that it is a matter of any consequence.

Very truly yours, Richard A. Posner

Article III Groupie deeply regrets the error, and she thanks Judge Posner for bringing it to her attention. She apologizes to Judge Posner for the misquotation, and she hereby issues an official "Amended Opinions" correction (which she will append as an update to the original post).

Reversed and remanded, for proceedings not inconsistent with Judge Posner's e-mail,

Article III Groupie

Courthouse Forum: The Hon. Alex Kozinski!!!!

In today's installment of Courthouse Forum: Letters to Article III Groupie, A3G brings you correspondence that has taught her a valuable lesson, one that women everywhere would be wise to heed: Don't flirt publicly with multiple federal judges at the same time!

As you may recall, A3G was recently offered the opportunity to dine with Judge Richard Posner, a federal judicial superstar of the highest order. In the post crowing about her lunch invite from Judge Posner, A3G stated: "The prospect of an actual lunch with this preeminent jurist may be just enough to bring her out of hiding. This is an invitation that Article III Groupie must carefully consider."

About a week later, A3G received the following e-mail:

Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2004 22:49:58 -0700 (PDT)

From: The Easy Rider [to learn the origin of the nickname, click here]

To: Article III Groupie

Subject: Re: I am not your only fan...

A3G, I'm a bit miffed that you're seriously considering having lunch with Judge Posner--where you plan to show him irrefutable proof of your femininity--while you won't even let me have your real fax number. I guess I'm good enough to carry a sandwich board for UTR, but your personal favors you save up for the luscious Judge Posner.

To tell you the truth, I understand your position. If I had any femininity to show, you can bet I wouldn't hold back when it came to Judge Posner - let's face it, he's a babe.

Ciao. AK

As you can imagine, A3G felt absolutely awful--and terribly guilty--after receiving this message from her most favorite federal judge (and the #1 Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary). She responded to Judge Kozinski as follows:

Dear Judge Kozinski:

Come now--you know you're my main squeeze. I may flirt with other judges, but I always return to my man!

For the record, my raising the possibility of lunching with Judge Posner was made for rhetorical effect in that particular post. I have no plans to take him up on it; rules are rules. Also, my comment was made in response to a specific invitation by him. I have received no specific invitations to go bungee-jumping or snowboarding with you!

;-)

XOXO,

A3G

Thankfully, all's well that ends well. The Easy Rider had the following reply:

Yea, I knew. but I just wanted to hear it from you. ;-)

Ciao. AK

Phew! A3G harbors boundless admiration for "the luscious Judge Posner," who is indeed "a babe." But her heart belongs to the Easy Rider, and she is relieved that he has taken her back.

Still a Super Hot Female,

Article III Groupie

P.S. Please note that there are four exclamation points in the title of this post; the title of the post regarding Judge Posner's letter had only three.

P.P.S. Her fidelity to Judge Kozinski notwithstanding, A3G will consider having a torrid cyberaffair with any federal judge--male or female--who is willing to be the first interviewee for Questions Presented...