Project Kagan

By Clerquette

Since former Harvard Law School Dean Elena Kagan's nomination to the fantastically lofty post of Solicitor General, much has been written about one of the most pressing issues facing the nation's appellate advocate-in-chief. We're not referring to the thorny jurisprudential and ideological matters confronting the country's first Solicitrix General. No, dear readers; we're talking about an issue which, by now, is plenty ripe for review: to wit, what should Solicitrix Kagan wear?  

President Obama's nomination of Dean Kagan - who is known as a "brilliant Constitutional scholar and writer," and who "garnered wide praise for the triage work she did at Harvard Law" - was met with "near universal acclaim." But commenters were also quick to point out the "epiphenomenal fashion crisis" threatened by Kagan's ascendance to the position, which has historically been occupied by men. And, as we know, tradition dictates that those men don a "frock coat with tails, stripey pants, and a vest" when they step up to the highest lectern in the land to argue before the Supremes. At the risk of stating the obvious, Clerquette submits that a woman as distinguished as Solicitrix Kagan can hardly be expected to "represent" in Victor/Victoria-style drag.

On this point, the panel is unanimous. "Here's ... hoping that she never dons that silly morning coat in the first place," declared Dahlia Lithwick in Slate. Blogress Ann Althouse quibbled with the very thought of referring to the sartorial custom of wearing tails to the High Court as a "tradition," preferring instead to call it "an affliction." And law professor Patricia Williams recounted an incident, "perhaps apocryphal," involving a female advocate whose appearance in a "dove brown" or "doe-beige" suit prompted then-Chief Justice Rehnquist to "go berserk." Thereafter, the S.G.'s office recommended that women wear a "feminized" version of morning attire, which Professor Williams described as "more or less like the men's version, only with darts at the bust-line: that is, a dark jacket, often with silk trim on the lapels and those perky Scrooge McDuck tails flapping out behind."

Although Kagan wore a black pantsuit when she was officially presented to the Court on March 20, it has been noted that her opening day outfit was "not dispositive." Why? Because "[w]omen who wear the morning coat buy a man's coat -- and usually pants as well -- and have them tailored to fit, a process that can take time."  Gasp!

Needless to say, we hate to think of Solicitrix Kagan going where no woman has gone before dressed as ... Scrooge McDuck.  So, dear readers, we're looking for your suggestions re: a fitting outfit for SG Kagan to don when she faces the Supremes. Clerquette wants to hear your ideas, or, better yet, see your suggestions depicted in photographic or illustrated splendor.

So, please, send Clerquette your ideas, artistic renderings, and Heidi Klum-approved designs. We look forward to publishing the most lectern-worthy entries!

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