Underneath Their Robes

Courthouse Forum: Judge Kozinski's Judicial Hottie Mustard

Over the weekend, Article III Groupie posted this bizarre photo, of a product known as "Alex Kozinski's Judicial Hottie Jalapeno Mustard." (see thumbnail at right).

For those of you who were left scratching your heads over it, here's a Courthouse Forum letter from Judge Alex Kozinski himself, providing the backstory:

About three weeks ago, I was keynote speaker at a one day conference sponsored by the judges and lawyers of the District of Nevada. [See thumbnail of conference pamphlet, below right -- gotta love that title...]

The luncheon speaker was Barry Levenson, author of Habeas Codfish, a funny book about food law. Levenson was an appellate lawyer with the Wisconsin Attorney General's office and his claim to fame -- as he tells it -- is that he's the only lawyer to have argued a case in the US S. Ct. with a mustard jar in his pocket. It's a very funny story, and I don't want to steal his thunder by giving away the circumstances.

In any event, he eventually quit law and is now the curator of the Mustard Museum and a popular speaker.

Among the "shtick" of Levenson's very funny and informative speech was the presentation to me of a case of mustard (one of which I sent you), an autographed copy of his book, and two honorary degrees (click on the thumbnails for a better view):

I thought that Levenson and his Mustard Museum might be worth a plug, esp. because of his connection with the S. Ct. He's a very funny guy, a bit reminiscent of Eugene Levy. In fact, one might ask about them: Separated at birth?

Delightfully bizarre! Perfect fodder for UTR. A3G thanks Judge Kozinski for sharing -- and congratulates him on his two honorary degrees.

Justice Is Blind: Chloe Schama's Ken Doll

It has been months since the last installment of "Justice Is Blind," in which Article III Groupie offers you delicious blind items of judicial gossip, or reveals the names from the blind items of others.

Today's item centers on a recent New York Observer article about the D.C. conservative party scene. Here's the text, about a gorgeous gal and her boy toy (one of the Elect, natch):

One of those arrivals [from the glamorous White House Correspondents' dinner], Chloe Schama, wore a red-and-white zebra-print frock. Ms. Schama, 22, writes for The New Republic.  She went to Harvard. She resembles Claire Danes but is prettier. Her father is someone (the historian Simon Schama), as is her boyfriend, a dapper fellow in a tuxedo with slicked blond hair who clerks for a Supreme Court justice.

Inquiring minds want to know: Who's the stylish blonde hunk who served as Chloe Schama's arm candy?

If you know, or have a good guess, shoot A3G an email. Thanks!

A Warm Welcome for UTR Search

In addition to the changes were outlined by Article III Groupie earlier this weekend, UTR now has a search feature. This is a capability that many of you have wanted for a long time, and A3G is happy to give you what you want. 

So now you can find out what A3G has previously said about your favorite federal judges. Just enter the judge's name in the search box, select the "underneaththeirrobes.blogs.com" option, and click "Google Search."

The search function is far from perfect, largely because Google doesn't seem to have indexed many individual UTR posts. It tends to pick up index pages as opposed to specific posts. So here's a searching tip: after the search pulls up a bunch of index pages, click on one of them. Then, after the index page has loaded -- which can take a while, since some of the index pages are huge -- do a "Find" (ctrl-F) for your desired search term.

HAPPY SEARCHING!

Move Over, Grey Poupon, Now There's Something Spicier

Discriminating mustard consumers, as well as judicial junkies everywhere, will soon be asking: "Excuse me, do you have any of Alex Kozinski's Judicial Hottie Jalapeno Mustard?"

In case you can't read it, the text on the left reads:

The Honorable Alex Kozinski was named "2004 Number 1 Male Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary."

Tom Cruise - eat your heart out!

And the text on the right reads:

"The parties are advised to chill." Judge Alex Kozinski, writing in Mattel v. MCA, 296 F.3d 894 (CA9 2002).

Yes, there is a backstory to this bizarre product. Check back here soon, when all will be revealed.

A Few Changes at UTR

These changes will be explained at greater length in a more detailed post. But for now, here are three new things about this blog that are worth noting:

1. Because A3G has her eye on a new Celine wallet, UTR is now part of the Google AdSense network. This explains why there are now "Sponsored Links" in the lower left- and right-hand columns of this blog -- in a tasteful shade of mint green, consistent with this blog's pink-and-green motif.

2. For those of you who are curious, UTR's SiteMeter traffic statistics are now public. You can check them out here.

3. Finally, UTR now has a tip jar, located in the upper left-hand column of the blog. If you like, you can buy A3G a drink by clicking on the little green "tip jar" rectangle.

Thanks for visiting!

UTR News and Views: A Few Quick Links

Article III Groupie is back (again), after ignoring this blog and her UTR email account for over a week. By way of explanation, she was out of town for a few days. But now she's back, and ready to get back in the game.

Unfortunately, A3G has a ton to catch up on. So she's going to do her best impression of Glenn Reynolds, a.k.a Instapundit, and take a "brevity is the soul of wit" approach to blogging. She'll to link to a bunch of different and interesting things, but with minimal commentary. Here goes:

• Hilarious and bizarre (scroll down, fourth paragraph). The Capitol File staffer who introduced the two told A3G it was "the most awkward two minutes of my life."
• Justice Samuel Alito has hired one of his former circuit clerks, Mike Lee, to clerk for him at the Supreme Court (October Term 2006). Lee is the son of former Solicitor General Rex Lee.
• Ouch. Well, Vanessa L. Bryant is but an icky state court judge.
• For D.C. Circuit nominee Brett Kavanaugh, one of the Elect (OT 1993/AMK), things are looking much better. Word on the street is that the rehearing will be a kabuki show and that Kavanaugh will be easily confirmed (after the Democrats get the chance to scold him on TV for things he had nothing to do with).
• If you thought A3G's story from last fall about Judge Harry T. Edwards was apocryphal, think again.
• Judge Howard Thomas Markey (Fed. Cir.), R.I.P. One of his former colleagues, Chief Judge Paul R. Michel, noted that Judge Markey could get by on only four hours of sleep a night. (That, by the way, is the secret to career success. Alas, A3G can't do it.)

More to come, as A3G continues to catch up on the world of judicial news and gossip.