If you're looking for serious and thoughtful commentary on what will happen in the wake of Harriet Miers's withdrawal from Supreme Court consideration, check out this excellent post, by Lyle Denniston of SCOTUSblog. (Gavel bang: Howard Bashman.) If you're interested in learning about which women were previously eliminated as potential Supreme Court justices, en route to the ill-fated nomination of Harriet Miers -- information that could shed light on the identity of the next nominee -- read this column by John Fund. (Robe swish: David Frum.)
But if you're interested in completely unsubstantiated, utterly baseless rumors about who might be the next SCOTUS nominee, you've come to the right place! Here are a few of the more juicy rumors in circulation this morning:
1. At the White House, Karl Rove is meeting with President Bush, offering him this advice: "Mr. President, I have a great idea for whom you should nominate. He's one of the nation's best lawyers, with many years of dedicated government service under his belt. His integrity lies beyond question. His name is Patrick Fitzgerald..."
2. In Alexandria, Virginia, Judge J. Michael Luttig has asked his law clerks to conduct research into the world's leading experts in sex reassignment surgery. Judge Luttig was overheard making the following remarks to his clerks:
Once I get that sex change operation, I will be unstoppable as a Supreme Court nominee!!! This explains why, many years ago, I made the brilliant decision to go by my middle name. That choice will now allow me to be reincarnated after my surgery with ease -- as the Honorable Jennifer M. Luttig!!!
3. In Newark, New Jersey, Judge Samuel Alito has given his clerks a little genealogical research assignment: "Please find support for the following proposition: Alito is a common Hispanic surname."
4. In Houston, Texas, Judge Edith Jones is making an online donation to Planned Parenthood.
5. In Washington, D.C., Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is making an online donation to National Right to Life.
6. In Medina, Ohio, Judge Alice Batchelder is on the phone with 1-800-FLOWERS: "Hi, I'd like to arrange for delivery of a dozen roses to one Jo Ann Davidson..."
7. In Washington, D.C., Maureen Mahoney is drafting the following letter to the U.S. Government Printing Office, which publishes U.S. Reports; West Publishing, which publishes the Supreme Court Reporter and runs Westlaw; and Lexis/Nexis:
To Whom It May Concern:
Please be advised that you have erroneously listed me as counsel of record in Grutter v. Bollinger, No. 02-241. This case was actually handled by Maureen M. Mahoney, of Kaw Valley Center, Inc., 759 Vermont Avenue, Kansas City, Kansas.
Please correct this error as soon as possible. Thank you for your time and immediate attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Maureen Mahoney, Esq.
8. Finally, in Austin, Texas, Judge Priscilla Owen is placing a telephone call to Justice Nathan Hecht: "Hey, Nathan -- got any plans for Saturday night?
If you have any legitimate, more substantiated rumors about the identity of who will be replacing Harriet Miers as President Bush's Supreme Court nominee, please email Article III Groupie. Muchas gracias!
I just got back from the GW Law Review Symposium on the Legacy of the Rehnquist Court. One panel featured former Solicitors General (and one notable former Deputy Solicitor General) that included Ted Olson and Maureen Mahoney. During the question and answer period, each was asked their views on the current judicial confirmation process and about their most significant case (either before, during, or after their service in the office). Maureen Mahoney to the first question said, very sarcastically, "Sounds like a lot of fun," and her answer to the second question was 'Grutter' (in part, she joked: "Because I got to beat Ted." And Ted Olsen went on a tirade about how terrible the confirmation process is today. Seems to me that neither would be too eager to accept a Supreme Court nomination at this time...
Posted by: anon | October 27, 2005 at 04:53 PM
McBride's Media Matters blog has a reasonable theory supporting Sykes. Possible insider information, too.
Posted by: Flex | October 27, 2005 at 02:37 PM
Are you saying "muchas gracias" and La Casa Blanca to flaunt your own hispanic heritage? Have you been sworn to secrecy about the next nomination because you're being considered?!
Posted by: | October 27, 2005 at 02:20 PM
1--Hilarious, 2--Mahoney only argued the law school case (Grutter), not the undergrad case (Gratz).
Posted by: J | October 27, 2005 at 12:59 PM
Hilarious!!! You are too funny!!!
Posted by: Jeanne | October 27, 2005 at 12:52 PM