Underneath Their Robes

Justice Breyer's OT 2005 Clerks

It has taken her a while, but Article III Groupie is finally done. Today's post marks the conclusion of her series profiling the Supreme Court clerks for October Term 2005 (not counting the round-up post of general observations about the clerk class as a whole, which will come out sometime next month). A3G knows that you're eager to hear about the final group of clerkly celebrities, so she will keep her introductory comments to a minimum.

Today's post focuses on the four incoming law clerks to Justice Stephen G. Breyer. Article Three Groupie has always had a soft spot for Justice Breyer. Although he is one of the four more liberal justices on the Court, SGB is a commendably independent jurist. When he feels that the merits of a case call for it, Justice Breyer will break ranks with the more left-leaning members of the Court to join the conservatives. In addition to being a principled judge, Justice Breyer is also regarded around One First Street as one of the nicest and most brilliant of the nine justices (yes, they are all incredibly smart).

Just like their future boss, the four incoming clerks to Justice Breyer are great legal minds and delightful human beings. So let's "holla at da clerks": SGB's clerks for the October Term 2005!

1. Danielle Gray (Harvard '03/Garland '03-'04)

Tidbits:

(a) after clerking for Big Pimpin' Feeder Judge Merrick Garland, Danielle Gray worked on the policy staff of Barack Obama's Senate campaign, then joined the Washington office of O'Melveny & Myers (her current place of employment);
(b) originally from Long Island, she went down south to Duke for college;
(c) not surprisingly, she is "an ardent Blue Devils fan," who "adores J.J. Redick and most of all Coach K";
(d) "she performed superbly in a 1L Ames [moot court] competition against two current members of the Elect, Michael Gottlieb and [Dorothy] Hien Tran (who were also outstanding, and who are now Danielle's good friends)";
(e) Danielle "came up with an incisive interpretation of Shaw v. Reno during a Law of Democracy class at Harvard Law School that was thereafter known as the 'Gray Thesis' (I'm not positive, but the Gray Thesis may have shown up on the exam)";
(f) she was one of the three primary authors of the Harvard BLSA (Black Law Students Association) amicus brief in Grutter v. Bollinger;
(g) she was voted "most likely to be a Supreme Court justice" by the HLS class of 2003 (the honor won by future Stevens clerk Sam Spital in 2004);
(h) she has "a keen sense of humor"; and
(i) she is "an all-around delightful person," "one of the most charming people you'll ever meet" -- "[i]f you don't like Danielle, you are per se a bad person!"

2. Kathryn Judge (Stanford '04/Posner)

Tidbits:

(a) she graduated second in her class from Stanford Law (right behind AMK clerk-to-be David Cooper);
(b) at Stanford, she studied under Larry Lessig (a former clerk of her current boss);
(c) like Judge Posner and Professor Lessig, she is interested in technology and intellectual property law, and her student note for the Stanford Law Review "was recently judged one of the best technology articles of the last year";
(d) she is "quite nice and far from a gunner," with "a great sense of humor"; and
(e) she is "highly attractive," and she exercises regularly.

In the words of one UTR reader: "I had her rated as the cutest girl who worked out regularly at Taper [law fitness center] last year -- I knew nothing about her academic performance at the time...."

(Brains, beauty, and a fierce commitment to exercise? Kathryn sounds like a regular Charlotte Simmons! For those of you looking for some good beach reading, A3G recommends Tom Wolfe's delicious book. She agrees with Ted Frank: it's an enjoyable read, and the widespead animus of reviewers towards the book is difficult to fathom.)

3. Jonathan Kravis (Yale '04/Garland)

Tidbits:

(a) he is originally from the Philadelphia area, and he is a "rabid" Philadelphia Eagles fan;
(b) he's a sports enthusiast generally, playing goalie in a local league in Washington and participating regularly in fantasy sports leagues;
(c) he is "an enthusiastic and gifted poker player," who analyzes poker hands over at The '04 Wall blog;
(d) not all of his hobbies are quite this cool -- he also enjoys Dawson's Creek and the works of Gilbert and Sullivan (and "is always willing to sing you an entire opera, in endearingly out-of-tune fashion");
(e) at Williams College, where he did his undergraduate work, he did debate and studied math before deciding to major in religion;
(f) he spent two summers working at Supreme Court litigation boutique Goldstein & Howe (which hosts the fabulous SCOTUSblog, and whose founder, Tom Goldstein, was recently recognized by the National Law Journal as one of America's top young lawyers -- congrats, Tom!);
(g) perhaps informed by this exposure to Supreme Court practice, Jon won "a betting pool in which he forecast with the most accuracy how the Court (and the individual Justices) would decide each case heard that Term";
(h) he is part of the Yale Law "power group" that also includes incoming Souter clerk Jon Michaels and current Breyer clerk Jake Sullivan (Kravis's former roommate);
(i) this July, Jon Kravis is getting married to Laura Jacobs, a fellow graduate of Williams (where she played softball and rugby), who is a middle school teacher in Washington;
(j) Jon is "very good-humored" and "a spectacularly good guy"; and
(k) last but not least, he is "the hero of the YLJ's recent win against HLR," in the 2004 Yale Law Journal-Harvard Law Review touch football game, held each year "on the morning of the better-attended and more famous Game."

For more on this last tidbit, A3G yields the floor to a Yale Law Journal alum:

[T]he YLJ had a history of losing, badly, to the HLR until one man came along. That man was Jon Kravis, who simply would not accept that Harvard could not be beaten and willed us to succeed. As our head coach, he pulled out all the stops, even going so far as to arrange a win-one-for-the-Gipper pep talk from [former Yale Law School dean and current Second Circuit judge] Guido Calabresi just before kick-off.

Guido roused the team with talk of great YLJ athletes of the past, like Justice Byron "Whizzer" White.* He also quoted Yale football legend Walter Camp: "[Ladies and] Gentlemen, you are now going out to play football against Harvard. Never again in your whole life will you do anything so important." As always, that man knows how to rise to an occasion.

And do you believe in miracles: we won, 21-7! I will forever be in Jon Kravis' debt because of that glorious Saturday morning in November, when we of the YLJ at long last defeated the Gannett House juggernaut.

4. John H. Longwell (Georgia Law '99/D. Ginsburg/V. Walker (N.D. Cal.))

Tidbits:

(a) John Longwell currently works in the Washington office of Paul Weiss, where he focuses on appellate and telecommunications litigation;
(b) he's originally from Short Hills, New Jersey, and he went to UVA for college;
(c) between college and law school, he worked as a reporter for the Athens (Ga.) Daily News/Banner-Herald;
(d) he is the fifth Georgia Law graduate to clerk for the Court;
(e) he and his wife Natalie enjoy the ballet (the photo of them at left -- what a lovely couple! -- was taken at the Washington Ballet Jete Society Dance Party, by Zaid Hamid); and
(f) John and Natalie have two daughters, Lily and Dorothy.

********************

Fantastic!!! So there they are: the 34** wonderful women and magnificent men who will be clerking at the Supreme Court, OT 2005! (For ease of reference, here are links to all of the clerk profiles, organized by justice: WHR, JPS, SOC, AS, AMK, DHS, CT, RBG, SGB.)

Whew! Article III Groupie is exhausted from running this marathon of celebrity profiles. And now, just in time for the long holiday weekend, she's going to take a break -- of indeterminate length -- from blogging and emailing (so she can catch up on her real work). As a result, you may not be hearing from A3G for a while. But when she returns to the blogosphere, she will have lots of goodies for you, including the aforementioned round-up post containing overall observations about the OT 2005 Supreme Court clerk class.***

Article 3 Groupie wishes the readers of UTR a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend!

* Justice White is a notable exception to the general rule, stated here by A3G, that Harvard Law Review and Yale Law Journal editors aren't usually great football players.

** As explained here, thus far Justice O'Connor has selected only three out of her four clerks.

*** If you'd like to help out A3G by doing some data processing for her -- namely, counting up which judges, courts, and law schools sent the most clerks on to the Court -- please email her.

Amended Opinions: Diva Dethroned!

In this very interesting post over at The Becker-Posner Blog, entitled "Blogging, Spam, and the Taxation of Internet Transactions," Judge Richard A. Posner offers the following comments in support of his view that there is "no pressing need for imposing ethical standards on bloggers":

The self-correcting machinery of the blogosphere is more efficient than the internal fact-checking departments of conventional media enterprises. This is not only because many more people... are watching out for mistakes; it is also because corrections are disseminated virtually instantaneously throughout the network. [W]hen the mainstream media catch mistakes, it may, especially in the case of the print media, take days or weeks to communicate a retraction to the public.

Article III Groupie couldn't agree more with Judge Posner. Indeed, her own blogospheric interactions with The Giant Hedgehog underscore this point. When A3G made a mistake in her reporting of Judge Posner's visit to Harvard Law School, Judge Posner brought the error to her attention in an email, and A3G promptly corrected the offending post.

As regular readers of UTR know, Article Three Groupie is constantly correcting herself (as she recently did with respect to her reports on the OT 2005 Supreme Court clerks). She would now like to amend her prior opinion of Justice Priscilla R. Owen, who could win Senate confirmation to the Fifth Circuit as early as today, in the wake of the eleventh-hour compromise that averted a filibuster showdown.

Article Three Groupie's overall opinion of Justice Owen has not changed: Priscilla R. Owen richly deserves a seat on the Fifth Circuit (and it looks like she will finally be getting one, knock on wood). But additional information about what Justice Owen is like as a person, which emerged during the non-stop news coverage about the filibuster controversy, call into question Justice Owen's entitlement to a far more important title: Queen of the Right-Wing Judicial Divas.

Perhaps buying into the left-wing propaganda about Priscilla Owen, Article III Groupie had imagined Justice Owen as a deliciously imperial female judge. Her conception of Justice Owen as magnificently high-handed, combined with Justice Owen's impressive credentials and above-average looks (by judicial standards), led A3G to name Priscilla Owen as UTR's top judicial diva. Justice Owen vanquished such worthy competitors as Justice Janice Rogers Brown, "The Uppity Black Diva," and Judge Carolyn B. Kuhl, "The California Dreamin' Diva."

Recent reports suggest, however, that Priscilla R. Owen has a softer side -- one that severely undermines her claim to judicial diva-dom. Consider the following, representative excerpts from articles and testimony about Justice Owen (A3G apologizes for the non-Bluebook-compliant citations, and she thanks How Appealing for most of the links):

1. Judge Seen as Conservative, Fair (David Savage, L.A. Times)

Pastor Jeff Black said most of the congregation [of Justice Owen's church] did not know Owen was a state supreme court justice until her nomination become a subject of national controversy.

"[Priscilla Owen] is very quiet and conscientious," said Black, who founded St. Barnabas the Encourager Evangelical Church in 1997. "She teaches Sunday school and is the head of our altar guild. Our people thought she was a nice, single lady who loves children, probably the most unlikely person to be the center of controversy."

2. Senate Floor Speech of Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison

[Priscilla Owen] is a founding member of the St. Barnabas Episcopal Mission in Austin, Texas. She serves as head of the church's altar guild. And she teaches Sunday school to preschool, kindergarten, and grade school children. On any given Sunday, you can find Justice Owen hopping on one leg, reading stories, and helping these children find ways to make the right choices in their conduct.

3. In the Eye of the Storm: Priscilla Owen is an unlikely protagonist in the Senate's toxic showdown over judges (Debra Rosenberg and Tamara Lipper, Newsweek)

[Priscilla Owen] loathed the campaign trail. "She was miserable at it," says Texas Supreme Court Justice Nathan Hecht, who campaigned with her. Owen was so shy that she'd spend 15 minutes on a fund-raising call and never muster the nerve to ask for money.

Born in Palacios, Texas, she lost her father to polio when she was 10 months old. She grew up running cattle and working the rice fields of her family farm. Owen and [President] Bush shared a political consultant in [Karl] Rove and later inhabited the same Austin social circles. During quail season, Owen -- a talented chef -- would invite the Bushes and her fellow justices over for a feast of home-cooked game.

Owen's Texas friends hardly recognize the ominous figure in TV ads. To her clerks, she's "the Pro," a perfectionist judge who likes to draft her own opinions. To her Sunday-school students, she's "Miss Priscilla." For Owen, who's divorced, life revolves around work. "She has a kind of monastic commitment to it," says her pastor, the Rev. Jeff Black. She separates faith from work, says Black, who notes she was appalled by the religious right's recent "Justice Sunday" rally.

Owen's secure job as Supreme Court justice has helped her wait patiently. In the meantime, says pastor Black, Owen seems serene. "Just pray for God's will to be done -- pray for everyone on both sides," she tells him.

4. Priscilla Owen's Journey from Small Town to Center of Attention (Dave Montgomery, KRT Wire)

Her mother says they talk by phone nearly every day and frequently see each other on weekends when Owen drives the 90 miles to Waco.

"She's just a very normal, loving person," [Phyllis] Derrick said in a telephone interview. "She's not an extremist."

Owen, who is divorced and has no children, lives in northwest Austin with her mixed-breed dog, Annie, who was rescued from an animal shelter.

Friends describe Owen as somewhat shy, unassuming and perhaps a bit reclusive, though she is sometimes seen at public functions. She is an avid water skier and loves horseback riding. Her mother says her fantasy ambition is to live on a ranch.

5. Senate Showdown on Judges and Filibusters Begins to Unfold (David Stout and Carl Hulse, N.Y. Times)

Senator Patty Murray [D.-Wash.] said she had met with Justice Owen and found her to be "a lovely person."

"Nice," "quiet," "shy," "unassuming," and -- worst of all -- "a lovely person"? What self-respecting judicial diva would ever earn such epithets? If a senatrix from the opposite political party calls you "a lovely person," you're definitely doing something wrong.

Based on the foregoing observations, Justice Priscilla R. Owen appears to be more drab than delicious. She is a superb jurist, and she will be a fine addition to the Fifth Circuit. But her low-key personality prevents her from being a judicial diva of the first rank.

Indeed, Justice Owen seems incapable of even playing the part of judicial diva. Take a look at practically any photograph taken of her (such as the one at right, by Doug Mills for the New York Times; proposed caption: "What, me, a judicial diva?"). Justice Owen carries herself stiffly; she looks awkward and uncomfortable in front of the cameras. She lacks the ease, poise and confidence of a true judicial diva. There is no swish to her robes.

The Fifth Circuit has 17 authorized judgeships, and after a four-year struggle, it looks like Justice Owen will finally lay her claim to one of them. But there can be only one Queen of the Right-Wing Judicial Divas -- and this title, sadly enough, must now be stripped from Justice Owen.

Justice Janice Rogers Brown, congratulations! Regardless of whether Bo Bice or Carrie Underwood prevails tonight, when it comes to judicial diva-hood, you are the American Idol!

P.S. Article III Groupie's profile of Justice Breyer's clerks is coming "soon" -- before the upcoming holiday weekend.

In Camera: Supreme Court Clerks At Play!

As she explained in the inaugural post of In Camera: Fabulous Photographs of Article III Stars!, Article III Groupie has a weakness for pretty pictures.* And what could be better than pretty pictures of pretty people, who also happen to be Supreme Court clerks?

Today, for your viewing pleasure, A3G presents two very special photographs of OT 2005 clerks at play. (Yes, the Elect work extremely hard to achieve their exalted status -- but they do take breaks every now and then.)

The first photo is of Lori A. Alvino, an incoming clerk to Justice Ginsburg, who was described by a UTR correspondent as "absolutely gorgeous." Regrettably, the picture of Lori that A3G used in her original post about the RBG clerks did not do Ms. Alvino justice. To get a better sense of Ms. Alvino's indisputable hotness, check out the photo below. Wow! (The caption was supplied by the UTR reader who submitted the photo.)

"Lori Alvino and her beau, Matthew D. McGill, a former 2d Cir. (McLaughlin) and D.C. Circuit clerk (Roberts), and also a former Bristow Fellow. Perhaps an early nomination for the prom king and queen, OT 2005?"

A3G concurs with this reader's assessment. To the female hotties of the OT 2005 clerk class -- including, but not limited to, Meaghan McLaine, Allie Orr, Ann O'Connell, and Ashley Johnson -- girls, you better bring it! (And Lori Alvino's significant other, Matthew McGill, is pretty hunky too. Check out his pic on the Gibson Dunn website, which shows his skill in pairing a patterned shirt with a patterned tie.)

It's quite fitting that this picture shows the well-traveled Lori Alvino in an exotic destination. As you can see from the comment appended to this post (scroll down the page), she did appear as a contestant on "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego," circa 1990. How cool is that?

Our second photograph is a real treat for those who appreciate fine specimens of manhood. It shows Judge Alex Kozinski -- who is, of course, the #1 Male Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary -- with his three current law clerks, all of whom will be clerking at the Court next Term, and all of whom have been previously profiled in these pages.

"Last week, my clerks and I were in Hawaii for a sitting. This picture was taken from a balcony overlooking Diamond Head and the Pacific. The clerks, left to right, are Randy, Sasha, and Scott. The picture location is the Sheraton Waikiki, where we were staying."

What a tropical treasure! If you like what you see, and want to learn more about Randy Kozel, Sasha Volokh, and Scott Martin, check out the UTR write-ups for the OT 2005 clerks of Justice Kennedy, Justice O'Connor, and Justice Scalia, respectively. (Click on the link for each justice's name to see their incoming clerk class.)**

* Article 3 Groupie enjoys occasional visits to different photoblogs, such as the excellent Entropy Hotel. Check out the "Favorites" section: this photo reminds her of Andreas Gursky's work, and this one reminds her that she'd rather be at the beach right now (instead of working on summary judgment papers). This photograph is just plain cool.

** Some Deadheads have declared A3G's "very unique obsession" with Supreme Court clerks to be "hilariously pitiful" (click here). Well, A3G finds their excessive fixation on the Grateful Dead to be more than a little weird. So there!

The Deadheads also mock A3G for dubbing some of the clerks "legal hotties." But A3G is not alone in this view. See, e.g., here ("Meaghan McLaine and Allison Orr are actually pretty cute!"), or here (noting that "ms. orr is HOTT" and "Alli Orr is a TOTAL ROCK STAR") (reader comments).

Nomination Rumor-Mongering: Filling Judge Chertoff's Running Shoes

Right now, all eyes are on the nomination of Justice Priscilla R. Owen to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. Amid all of the controversy over her nomination and the possible demise of the filibuster, it's easy to forget that there are other judgeships waiting to be filled.

The last time Article III Groupie engaged in speculation concerning federal judicial nominations, she wound up with egg on her face. But the prospect of winding up with stuff on her face has never deterred A3G from engaging in an otherwise enjoyable activity -- so here she goes again...

Earlier this year, the brilliant Michael Chertoff sprinted away from the Third Circuit and towards the Department of Homeland Security, trading in the title of "Judge Chertoff" for "Secretary Chertoff."* His departure has opened up a spot on the Third Circuit, and a few curious readers have asked Article Three Groupie if she has heard anything about who might be nominated to replace him.

As a matter of fact, she has. She recently received this email message from a reader:

President Bush is strongly considering the nomination of Judge Jerome B. Simandle, United States District Judge for the District of New Jersey (Camden Vicinage), to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit. Simandle, who began his career as a law clerk in Camden and later became a magistrate judge before elevation to the District Court, was previously nominated by Bush's father and sailed through confirmation in an election year.

Very interesting! Judge Simandle does sound like a promising candidate. Past service as a magistrate judge is not particularly sexy -- but in the current period of judicial nomination warfare, such a safe background may be just what the doctor ordered.

A3G will hedge her bets on Judge Simandle, however, by sharing with you this email from another reader, which identifies two possible competitors (both colleagues of Judge Simandle on the D.N.J. bench):

Rumor has it that Judge Jose L. Linares and Judge William J. Martini (pictured at right) are both under consideration for the Third Circuit seat vacated by Mike Chertoff. Both are very well-connected. Judge Linares is said to be friendly with Senator Mel Martinez, who served as President Bush's Secretary for Housing and Urban Development before joining the Senate, and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Judge Martini also knows many political folks, having served in Congress, as a member of the House of Representatives (1995-97).

Judge Linares, who was born in Cuba, is a prominent member of the Hispanic bar in New Jersey. He would bring the added benefit of improving President Bush's standing with the Latino community.

¡Muy interesante! A3G will keep you posted of further developments. If you have any juicy gossip concerning judicial nominations, please email her.

* There is no truth to the rumor that Chertoff's decision to leave the bench was motivated by the fact that "Secretary Chertoff" sounds better than "Judge Chertoff" when making restaurant reservations. If you dispute this point, just take a look at the commendably svelte Secretary Chertoff. Does he look like someone who enjoys food? Heck, he doesn't even eat it! [Tasteless reference to Terri Schiavo omitted.]

If Secretary Chertoff enjoyed food more, the rumor would be understandable. Only a handful of people can claim the exalted title of "Secretary," while thousands can call themselves "Judge" -- including icky state court jurists. Can you blame the maitre d' for giving a cabinet secretary a better table than a judge?

To A3G, federal judges are second to no one as celebrities. And the judges of the venerable D.C. Circuit -- may it rest in eternal splendor, as it begins its ridiculously long summer vacation -- are second to no one but the justices themselves. But even Judge Laurence H. Silberman (pictured at left), a longtime denizen of the Prettyman Courthouse, has his restaurant reservations made under "Ambassador Silberman." (Judge Silberman served as the U.S. ambassador to Yugoslavia from 1975 to 1977.)

Amended Opinions: More Corrections About The Elect

As you know, Article III Groupie has been constantly revising her posts profiling the Supreme Court clerks for October Term 2005, in some cases well after the original post was published. Many of these after-the-fact revisions have been prompted by comments from OT 2005 clerks or their friends, family, and co-workers, raising questions or concerns about various items. For the most part, A3G has been more than happy to make the requested changes.

But A3G does a few points to make to The Elect (if you will permit her to address her superiors):

1. People, relax! Let's not take ourselves too seriously. A3G is simply engaging in a little good-natured fun with these silly little profiles, which no one reads anyway. Lighten up, okay?

2. To the extent that you don't want to be publicly identified -- for some completely unfathomable reason (this is America, where there's no such thing as bad publicity, and everyone wants their fifteen minutes) -- well, it was only a matter of time before you were unmasked as one of the Elect. The Supreme Court's public information office will release its official list of law clerks at some point in the next few months, and copious coverage in the mainstream news media will follow shortly thereafter. If you have a problem with being mentioned in this wee blog, just wait until your name shows up in a piece by the Liz Smith of One First Street for Law.com, or even USA Today...

3. To the extent that you object to the handful of A3G's comments that are snarky, please keep in mind that ninety percent of the time, A3G is a font of loving adoration, the epitome of sweetness and light. Can't she be snarky for 10 percent of the time? (You people don't pay her enough to forego snark completely!)

4. At the end of the day, no matter what A3G writes about you, you are still a Supreme Court clerk -- and she is still one of the Great Unwashed, a miserable and bitter nobody, up to her ears in boxes of documents to review.*

5. At the end of the day, Underneath Their Robes is just a blog. What's a blog? A blog is a repository for the self-indulgent, semi-coherent ramblings of a pajama-clad loser -- here, A3G -- which nobody reads except the aforementioned loser. A blog has no editorial oversight, which is why bloggers can fill their blogs with meaningless text, e.g., "dskfla;sdkfjs," and nonsensical Gwen Stefani lyrics. So why should you care what some stupid person is writing about you, on some stupid blawg that nobody reads?

Despite the cosmic insignificance of her project, the former law review editor in A3G does want to get things right. Towards that end, she has made numerous small additions and alterations to her prior posts that she has not brought to the attention of her readership. But a handful of corrections are of such critical importance that they must be highlighted separately. So here are the latest UTR corrections and clarifications, for filing under "Amended Opinions":

1. In her post about Justice Kennedy's clerks, A3G mentioned that Randy Kozel "has a bobblehead doll of Bucky the Badger [sic], the Wisconsin mascot, whom he consulted frequently when selecting articles for the Harvard Law Review."

A3G has fixed that post, in light of the following correction: "As a Wisconsin girl myself, I have to correct you on one thing -- it's not Bucky THE Badger, it's just Bucky Badger. Love the blog."

2. It looks like A3G should steer clear of sports completely. In an earlier version of the AMK clerks post, she reported that Randy Kozel threw "the winning touchdown in the 2002 Harvard Law Review/Yale Law Journal football game," which was "caught by Henry Whitaker, a 2003 HLS grad and Sentelletubby who is currently clerking for Justice Thomas." These comments were in error, and A3G received multiple emails about them, from both Harvard and Yale partisans.** Here are two examples:

(a) "Your Randy Kozel/HLR-YLJ football info is inaccurate. Kozel threw the winning TD in the HLR-Legal Aid Bureau matchup, a grudge match if there ever was one.... The HLR-YLJ journal football game was NOT EVEN CLOSE that year; Harvard of course dominated."

(b) "You're giving the Yale Law Journal short shrift in this competition. Sure, Yale lost the 2002 game, but won the the 2003 one -- the first that YLJ has won in years, if not ever. Yale also does alright Elect-wise:  the winning '03 YLJ team was captained by Jon Kravis (clerking for Breyer in OT05), while the losing '02 YLJ team was captained by Jake Sullivan (clerking for Breyer now)."

Well! A3G stands corrected. And for those of you who are interested in the football field exploits of a bunch of overweight, pasty-faced, bespectacled law review editors,*** you're in luck. A3G's forthcoming post about Justice Breyer's OT 2005 clerks will relate the inspirational tale, ready for a made-for-TV movie, about how coach Jonathan Kravis -- with the help of a guest appearance by a certain Big Pimpin' Feeder Judge -- turned the losing YLJ team around, after years and years of defeat.

3. Gosh, A3G can't get anything right about Randy Kozel! In the original version of the same post, A3G stated upon information and belief that Randy Kozel, who was hired in January 2004, was the first law clerk hired for OT 2005. She has since deleted that apparently erroneous statement, based on a tip that incoming SOC clerk Ben Horwich interviewed with Justice O'Connor in December 2003, when she was filling her last OT 2004 slot, and wound up with an OT 2005 clerkship in mid-December of 2003. A3G regrets the error.

4. Speaking of Justice O'Connor's clerks, in her post about the SOC clerks, A3G observed that when a Supreme Court justice retires after hiring clerks for the following term, "there is a longstanding tradition of the remaining justices making a strong effort to pick up the hires of their departing colleagues. For example, as recounted here, Judge Kozinski was hired by Chief Justice Burger after Justice Douglas announced his retirement (even though Burger and Douglas weren't exactly ideological soulmates)."

The foregoing observation may have given readers the erroneous impression of a causal relationship between Judge Kozinski's being left in the lurch by Justice Douglas and then getting hired by Chief Justice Burger. None other than Judge Alex Kozinski himself wrote A3G, with this (very interesting) clarification:

[T]he reference to my having been picked up by CJ Burger after Justice Douglas retired is true only in the chronological sense. I got the call that Douglas hired me as his clerk one morning about 11 am, then got a call later the same day telling me the justice had just retired. (I don't comment as to cause and effect.) At that point I was out of a job, but still had applications pending with CJ Burger and Justice White. I got interviewed by White, but didn't get the job. I then got interviewed by Burger's selection committee, along with about 3 dozen other people.

The only difference the Douglas clerkship seems to have made is that I got a second interview, with another member of the committee, who spent the better part of an hour exploring the question: "Do you think someone who was picked as a clerk by Justice Douglas can possibly serve CJ Burger?" I answered: "I suspect I would disagree with CJ Burger about as often as with Justice Douglas."

All told, it was a trade up. Justice Douglas was, according to all who knew him, very difficult to work for, while CJ Burger was a prince. In fact, I never heard him speak ill or complain about anybody, ever.

At the end of my clerkship, my wife and I were married in the Justices' conference room -- not one of the large semi-public conference rooms known as the East and West conference rooms, but where the justices meet to decide cases. My wife reminds me occasionally that if either of us ever wants a divorce we'll have to petition for cert. ;-)

Wow! Running corrections is fun! Much of this delectable correction was news to A3G, but not all of it. Here are some excerpts from an earlier email exchange between A3G and Sasha Volokh, current Kozinski clerk and incoming SOC clerk:

A3G: I'm a little confused re: your "marriage" to quare.blogspot.com; can you unpack the joke a little for me?

Sasha: No joke: My former fiancee, Hanah Metchis, who used to blog at quare.blogspot.com, is now my wife, Hanah Metchis Volokh. As I mentioned, Judge Kozinski married us in a tasteful, minute-long, five-line ceremony (two of those lines, spoken by us, were "I do"), in his office last October.

A3G: Are you serious??? You didn't have a more elaborate ceremony, a la the spectacular nuptials of the Engels? I can't believe it.

Sasha: That's not elaborate? At 10 guests (3 of her family, 4 of mine, 2 co-clerks, and a random former clerk who was visiting chambers that day), my wedding was substantially larger than the judge's own wedding, which had only 6 guests, none of them family. (The judge's wedding, on the other hand, was more Elect, since he was married in the Supreme Court's conference room and the guests were the Burgers, the Starrs, and his co-clerk and co-clerk's wife.)

My bride is as yet neither a lawyer nor Elect, but she's starting at Georgetown Law this fall and now blogs at Purr Se, which is partly about the law and partly about our cats, Maggie and Ethelwolf.

Excellent! And with that, Article 3 Groupie has fulfilled her past promise of "[a]dditional information about Sasha's celebrity wedding, as well as some fun facts about the wedding of his boss," Judge Kozinski.

5. In her post about Justice Ginsburg's clerks, A3G quoted a reader who said, with respect to Joshua Civin, that "some might call him humorless," but he has been "known to chuckle on occasion."

Before offering her quasi-correction, A3G must make the following observations: (a) this comment represented the view of a reader about Josh, not the view of A3G (who doesn't know him from Adam); (b) the reader didn't say that Josh was humorless, but simply said that "some might call him humorless" (emphasis added); and (c) to the contrary, the reader indicated that Josh does have a sense of humor, as evidenced by his intermittent chuckling.

That being said, A3G has a quasi-correction to offer. In the interest of fairness and editorial balance, A3G will now reprint a message received from a reader who viewed the comment in question as failing to do justice to Mr. Civin's robust comedic sensibility, as demonstrated in the following anecdote:

While at some boys' prep school in Baltimore, Josh Civin and his yearbook cronies incurred no small amount of administrative wrath when they proposed as their yearbook theme the act of "sawing," a not-so-veiled metaphor for a pastime known and perpetrated by men in adolescence and beyond. Naughty little imps!

6. Also in the post about the RBG clerks, A3G compared the peripatetic Anna-Rose Mathieson to Carmen Sandiego. But a reader just wrote A3G with this tip:

Oh, A3G, you matched the wrong clerk to Carmen Sandiego!! Lori Alvino once told me that she appeared on the PBS show 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego' when she was a kid. I'm not sure if this can be verified on Google, but you could try to verify it with her.

How fun! If accurate, this is a delightful little tidbit. If you can provide confirmation or corroboration, please append a comment to this post. Much thanks!

Reversed and remanded, but not bench-slapped,

Article Three Groupie

* Yes, A3G has junior associate minions who do the "first cut" document review. But she has to look at what they cull out for her -- which still amounts to a lot, especially since the minions have no confidence in their own judgment and are overinclusive in what they show to her.

** A3G can't help but be amused by her correspondents' emotional investment in what was probably a rather mediocre football game, played by people more famous for their prowess with a Bluebook than with a pigskin.

Before you erstwhile editors email A3G to protest that you really are good at football -- despite being an alum of the Harvard Law Review or the Yale Law Journal, neither of which is a bastion of football talent -- A3G has a preemptive comment to make. She will retract this item, but only if you are as good a football player as Judge Morrison C. England, Jr. (E.D. Cal.), her next Questions Presented interviewee. (By the way, A3G is now formulating her first round of questions for Judge England; please email her with suggested topics or queries.)

*** A3G acknowledges that Randy Kozel is super-hunky. Indeed, she extends to him the same offer she made to the Scalia clerks. But A3G has a sneaking suspicion that not every male editor of the Harvard Law Review or the Yale Law Journal editor is quite as good-looking as Mr. Kozel...

Justice Ginsburg's OT 2005 Clerks

Since its debut roughly one year ago, Underneath Their Robes has not been particularly kind to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Article III Groupie has recommended that Justice Ginsburg get a makeover, and when A3G compared various federal judges to stereotypical high schoolers, RBG was dubbed "queen of the nerds." UTR has printed reader commentary citing Justice Ginsburg as the paradigmatic judicial style disaster ("Worse than Ruthie!"), and A3G has even jokingly suggested that RBG makes her clerks play Magic: The Gathering with her.

Today's post, however, will take a different approach. Article Three Groupie will not discuss how Justice Ginsburg allegedly works her clerks to death. Nor will A3G mention RBG's reportedly cool demeanor, or her rumored, uncanny ability to kill off conversation topics seriatim when law clerks to other justices have their mandatory lunch with her.

Today we are here to celebrate Ruth Bader Ginsburg. A3G may disagree with RBG's jurisprudence, but she cannot deny that Justice Ginsburg is breathakingly brilliant. Justice Ginsburg demonstrated this at the very start of her legal career, when she graduated first in her class from Columbia Law School. In the years between her law school graduation and her apotheosis to the D.- Circuit, she had a monumentally successful career as a legal scholar and advocate in the area of sex discrimination law. As noted in her bio by the Supreme Court Historical Society, "[b]etween 1972 and 1978, Ginsburg argued six cases before the Court involving sex-role stereotyping and won five." Wow! As that bio goes on to note, once RBG was a judge on the D.- Circuit, she "garnered respect with her clear thinking, careful reasoning, and assiduous preparation for every case." (To learn more about Justice Ginsburg's remarkable achievements, click here, to read about former Solicitor General Walter Dellinger's interesting interview with her.)

In light of Justice Ginsburg's mind-blowing accomplishments, who cares if her taste in eyewear leaves something to be desired? And let's not forget: she sure has great taste in law clerks! The long wait is over. Here they are: RBG's clerks for the October Term 2005!

1. Lori A. Alvino (Columbia '03/D. Ginsburg '03-'04)

Tidbits:

(a) Lori Alvino is currently a Bristow Fellow, and before that she clerked for Chief Judge Douglas Ginsburg of the D.- Circuit (so yes, she is a "double Ginsburg");
(b) she is a talented a cappella singer, with a mezzo soprano voice (but best lay off the ciggies, Lori!);
(c) she served as the "Minister of Conservative Dress and Dignified Bearing" for Uptown Vocal, a jazz/pop co-ed a cappella group "made up of unusually attractive members of the Columbia community with love for the a cappella spirit";
(d) Ms. Alvino certainly qualifies as "unusually attractive," with one UTR reader describing her as "absolutely gorgeous";* and
(e) her favorite crayon color is "orchid."

2. Joshua Ian Civin (Yale '03/Bleeding Reinhardt)

Tidbits:

(a) Joshua I. Civin is currently an Arthur Liman fellow in the Washington office of the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund (an office he interned in as a law student);
(b) from 1994 to 1997, while still an undergraduate at Yale, he served as an alderman for the city of New Haven (wow);
(c) before returning to Yale for law school, he studied British and American urban history at Oxford, as a Rhodes Scholar (yawn; this is all so predictable!);
(d) as recounted in the painfully inevitable New York Times wedding announcement, earlier this year Josh married Katherine Tang Newberger, an assuredly attractive law clerk to an assuredly attractive judge (see their pic at left, which captures the lovely Katherine's resemblance to a certain other Catherine);**
(e) Josh's hobbies and interests include "social justice, comparative social history, city politics, and workers rights";
(f) as you could probably have guessed from the above information, he is a "liberal do-gooder" who is "very intense"; but
(g) even though "some might call him humorless" -- a charge that has been leveled against his former boss, the Emperor Palpatine --  Josh Civin has been "known to chuckle on occasion."

(By the way, if you're bored and have ten seconds to kill, go to Google and run this search (or just click on the link): judge emperor palpatine. Check out that #1 result...)

3. Rebecca Deutsch (Yale '02/Rakoff '02-'03/Katzmann '03-'04)

Tidbits:

(a) Rebecca Deutsch, who clerked together for Judge Rakoff with incoming JPS clerk Sarah E. McCallum, currently works at Debevoise & Plimpton in New York;
(b) like her RBG co-clerk Josh Civin, she graduated summa cum laude from Yale College and also went to Yale Law School (where she served on the Law Journal and was a teaching assistant for Professor Jed Rubenfeld (who looks pretty hunky, by the way!));
(c) Rebecca "was totally stealth in law school -- said very little, but when she did, she would drop mad knowledge";
(d) she has "a ridiculously developed work ethic, as proved by her rigorous clerkships";
(e) she is married to Benjamin Soskis, "an accomplished journalist and up-and-coming historian," who used to write for The New Republic and who is now a graduate student in American religious history at Columbia; and
(f) she is "a doll," "just about the most unassuming person in the world," and "a truly brilliant lawyer."

4. Anna-Rose Mathieson (Michigan '03/Boudin)

Tidbits:

(a) after clerking for Chief Judge Boudin and spending time in London as a Temple Bar Scholar,*** Anna-Rose headed off to the legendary litigation shop of Williams & Connolly, where she currently works;
(b) she graduated first in her class from the University of Michigan Law School, where she served as both an Article Editor and a Symposium Editor for the Michigan Law Review;
(c) during her undergraduate years as a philosophy major at Bard College, Anna-Rose organized casino parties that were extremely well-attended (over 500 people), to raise funds for the Model U.N. club;
(d) she is originally from Oregon; and
(e) she's extremely well-traveled, having spent time in places like Cambodia, where she did an internship analyzing trial procedures for a possible Khmer Rouge genocide tribunal; India, to which she flew immediately after her RBG interview; and the Grand Canyon, which she once rafted in an inflatable kayak (wow).

********************

Dee-lightful! On behalf of UTR readers everywhere, A3G extends well-deserved kudos to Lori A. Alvino, Joshua I. Civin, Rebecca Deutsch, and Anna-Rose Mathieson. What a tremendously talented, incredibly interesting foursome!

As the foregoing indicates, Justice Ginsburg is filthy rich -- not just in monetary terms, but in terms of her clerkly talent pool. Some justices, such as Justice Scalia, pick clerks who all fit within a certain mold. But Justice Ginsburg has taken an arguably more interesting approach: she has picked clerks who appeal to different interests and aspects of her personality.

Lori Alvino, the silver-voiced songstress, appeals to the opera-lover in Justice Ginsburg. Joshua Civin, the left-wing crusader, helps RBG relive her bygone days as a liberal activist. Rebecca Deutsch -- who is brilliant, diligent, yet unpretentious -- reminds RBG of her younger self. And the globe-trotting Anna-Rose Mathieson, who has seen more of the world than Carmen Sandiego, shares Justice Ginsburg's keen interest in international law. Like the X-Men, each of the four RBG clerks brings a special power or unique abilty to the Ginsburg chambers. Awesome!

Looking into her crystal ball, Miss Cleo Groupie predicts that this group is highly likely to have a very good year together. In A3G's view, the main question is whether Lori, Rebecca, and Anna-Rose -- who are all fun and fabulous females -- will be able get the deadly earnest Josh to lighten up a little. If they can, they're sure to have a grand old time at One First Street. Good luck, ladies!

* The UTR reader who submitted this tidbit added that gorgeousness "is presumably a rare trait among Supreme Court clerks." Based on the many hotties, of both genders, who have already been profiled in these pages -- enough to fill a calendar called "OT 2005: The Young Hotties of One First Street" -- A3G begs to differ!

Each year the justices' chambers are flooded with some of the most impressive resumes the legal world has ever seen, from brilliant young lawyers who are more than capable of doing the work. Can you blame the justices for using pulchritude as a tie-breaker? (A3G knows that if she ever becomes an A3J, she will hire hunky law clerks -- and have frequent chambers pool parties, with mandatory attendance...)

** Joshua Civin is an Aries; Katherine Newberger is a Cancer. Noted astrologer Susan Miller -- who helped A3G prepare Chief Justice Rehnquist's birthday horoscope -- has the following advice for an Aries who is in a relationship with a Cancer:

In bed, your different styles will surface dramatically. Your lover wants romance, but you are all about raw passion without finessing or caressing. You aren't very sentimental, which could be disappointing to your lover -- you might have to try harder on this count, Aries.

Well! If Justice Ginsburg grants Josh a brief chambers furlough, he would be well-advised to shift from drafting opinions to writing love notes. (Additional astrological observations on the Aries-Cancer pairing are available here.)

*** Incidentally, the Temple Bar Scholarship program is a veritable magnet for the Elect. Check out the photo on page 3 of this brochure (pdf). All four of the pictured scholars are among the Anointed: Catherine Sharkey (DHS, OT 1998); Jenny Martinez (SGB, OT 1998); Jennifer Mason (SOC, OT 2000); and Curtis Gannon (AS, OT 2004).

Judicial SIGHT-ations: Better Late Than Never

Article III Groupie is pleased by the warm reception accorded to her profiles of the Supreme Court clerks for October Term 2005. As late-breaking tidbits continue to drift in, she continues to supplement and revise her previously published posts. For example, she has recently updated the profiles for Sam Spital, Randy Kozel (including a new footnote), and Ashley Johnson (with a new photo). A3G is also drafting her post about Justice Ginsburg's incoming clerks, which should hopefully appear later this week.

But A3G does not want to neglect the world beyond One First Street. After all, not all of her readers share her obsession with Supreme Court clerks. So she has been interspersing her puff pieces about The Elect with various staples of her federal judicial gossip column -- such as celebrity sightings.

Today's post collects judicial sight-ations from around the country. Due to A3G's neglect of her email account for a number of months, some of these items are quite old. A3G apologizes for their embarrassing staleness, for which she takes full responsibility. But A3G believes that juicy morsels of judicial gossip -- like diamonds -- are forever.

And now, in no particular order, here are UTR's latest judicial sight-ations. Because this post is a little lengthy, A3G has highlighted federal judges' names in bold, for easy skimming (and in emulation of Page Six).

1. In this recent post, Article 3 Groupie alerted her readers to the Annual Law Day Dinner of the Federal Bar Council in New York. At this event, held earlier this month, the Learned Hand Award was presented to the super-brilliant Judge Richard A. Posner (7th Cir.). Bill Patry, A3G's favorite copyright lawyer, has this firsthand account:

Last's night's bash for Dick Posner was splendid. I chatted with Dick and Charlene (his fabulous wife), Second Circuit Judges Pierre Leval (an old friend), James Oakes (ditto), and many S.D.N.Y. district judges, including William Pauley (for whom my wife clerked), Kevin Castel, and the awesome Barbara Jones. Pierre Leval wowed the crowd with an orange bow-tie.

Anyway, that's not why I am writing. I thought that Joan Wexler's intro to Dick didn't do him justice, so I am going to post a piece on him on my blog tonight. I'll send you the link.

(By the way, in case you're wondering, Article Three Groupie has identified Mr. Patry as her source with his permission. As stated here, the UTR default rule is anonymity for sources. If A3G would like to mention you by name as a source, she will obtain your consent prior to doing so -- unless you fall into the elite group of correspondents with whom A3G has adopted the opposite baseline rule.)

2. While we're on the subject of federal judges partying it up in New York, consider this sighting of the #1 Female Superhottie, Judge Kimba M. Wood (S.D.N.Y.) -- in the company of bona fide, non-judicial celebrities. An NYC-based correspondent writes:

If you look in this month's "Palm Beach Issue" of Quest magazine, on page 18, there are photos from the American Museum of Natural History's Annual Museum Ball. There, amidst such mainstream celebreties such as Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld, Tom Brokaw, and Billy Joel, was the Hon. Kimba Wood (with husband Frank Richardson).

A little more investigation uncovers this write-up of the event, listing other celebrities in attendance. Photos (although not the exact ones in Quest) are available here.

Spectacular! Be sure to check out the pics; scroll down the page to spot Judge Wood, in a black gown and electric blue wrap. She looks amazing -- can you believe that's she is in her sixties? (Has she had any work done, and if so, by whom?)

3. Speaking of federal judicial super-hotties, no judicial sight-ations post would be complete without mention of The Easy Rider, who rode up to Cambridge a few months ago for some vast right-wing conspiring...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the 24th Annual Federalist Society Student Symposium was held at Harvard Law School. In the words of one correspondent, the event was "replete with judicial superstars. Kozinski. Wesley. Easterbrook. Sentelle." The symposium generated several amusing anecdotes, from multiple UTR readers, which A3G meant to share with you many moons ago:

(a) "Alan Dershowitz welcomed Akhil Amar (YLS) and Judge Alex Kozinski (an all-star lineup if there ever was one) to his first-year Crim class. The three participated in a spirited debate on the proper construction of the Fourth Amendment. The end result, bizarrely, was Kozinski professing that he firmly believes in a living constitution and accusing Amar of senseless textualism."

"Kozinski is definitely a judicial hottie. He was sporting a hip denim shirt with buttoning breast pockets. Fashionable even without his robes. Below is a (heavily paraphrased) transcription of the funniest moment."

Dershowitz: I recall a brilliant law review article that you began by citing the Book of Ruth to the effect of "in the days when the judges ruled, a great famine came upon the land."

Kozinski: You must have me confused with someone else. I never said any such thing.

Dersh: Then your law clerk did.

Koz (taking out his billfold and rifling through it): I'd be willing to bet money on it.

Dersh: Class, start Googling.

Student (pulling up Westlaw): Judge Kozinski, you did indeed write that, in a June 1999 article in the Harvard Law Review.

(Kozinski hands $3 to Dershowitz.)

Dersh: I'm donating this money to the American Civil Liberties Union.

Koz: Not them!

How delightful! A3G agrees with this piece for Slate by Jack Shafer: with his brilliant mind, quick wit, and superb sense of humor, Judge Kozinski would have been a great replacement for William Safire on the New York Times op-ed page. (The spot ultimately went to John Tierney.)

(b) "I had the pleasure, with some friends, of hanging out with Judge David Sentelle (D.C. Cir.; pictured at right) and Judge Alex Kozinski (9th Cir.) on Friday night in a local bar, and having lunch with AK on Saturday in between the panels. Very, very fun."

"AK was in full effect, wearing cargo pants, a denim jacket, and blue vans canvas shoes on Friday night for the first panel and the cocktail reception. I don’t think he was widely recognized at the reception, since he was wandering around the room from crowd to crowd rather than being followed and hounded as he was on Saturday after the word was out. AK drank only half a beer; Sentelle had 4 or 5 martinis.... [Quasi-scandalous material deleted.] The highlight of the night (besides hanging out with the judges) was Judge Sentelle's reference to the first panel as 'academic masturbation.' Priceless!"

"Lunch with AK was less eventful. I'm sure you know he snowboards. He is not a Lakers fan, it turns out. For him, sports are like sex: 'If I can’t participate, there is no point in watching.'"

4. Back in this "Coming Attractions" post, A3G mentioned an upcoming appearance by Judge Paul Niemeyer (4th Cir.) at NYU Law School. A reader who was at the event provides this report:

Was at the Jus Gentium lecture. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a camera -- in response to your previous postings, Judge Niemeyer must have gotten new glasses since the picture you posted. He was wearing stylish, smaller, half-rim bifocals. Overall, he looks much better in person than in the picture.

5. In another "conservative judge at New York law school" sighting, Columbia Law School was recently graced by the presence of Chief Judge Douglas Ginsburg, of the D.C. Circuit. (May the gods bless and keep A3G for typing that court's name!) UTR's contact in Gotham has the inside dope:

I went to a baseball game with [Judge Ginsburg] on Sunday, he spoke to the Federalist Society yesterday on law & economics, and he judged the moot court yesterday afternoon. I don't have much to report except that he likes the Orioles, was happy they killed the Yankees. Very nice guy, well kempt mustache, very nice guest he brought along.

6. Not every conservative jurist has a fun time in New York. As you surely recall, the Big Apple left a bad taste in Justice Scalia's mouth. So the Rock Star of One First Street was probably happy and relieved to take his tour down south, to Vanderbilt University Law School:

Vandy Law hosted Justice Scalia [last month]. It was a very nice event, with Justice Scalia lecturing on his orignialist views and taking some challenging (but respectful) questions. He was wearing a tasteful grey suit and maroon tie and looked like the Italian man next door! :-)

He was a bit brusque in answering questions challenging his point of view, but what else can you expect from a rock star? The event was followed by a swanky reception where Scalia talked to many students and enjoyed the best food the law school has ever provided for free.

7. Swinging through the south and towards the coast, A3G finds herself in south Florida, where the Eleventh Circuit recently held its judicial conference. Prior to the event, a UTR correspondent offered this teaser: "I think there will be a number of sightation possibilities; rumor has it they may include a possible resident of One First Street, as a speaker, and the adorable Judge Adalberto Jordan [a former SOC clerk] from the Southern District of Florida."

Does anyone have details? If so, please email A3G.

8. Meanwhile, in the midwest, the recent University of Chicago moot court finals drew three judicial superstars to the Windy City: Judge Jose A. Cabranes, of the Second Circuit; Judge Karen Nelson Moore, of the Sixth Circuit; and Big Pimpin' Feeder Judge Merrick B. Garland, of the D.C. Circuit. A Chicago correspondent reports:

Cabranes served as the Chief Justice for the moot, and was surprisingly quiet, but Garland was an absolute treat, warming up as the moot continued and charming the crowd. The case was Elvig v. Calvin Presbyterian Church (pdf), out of the Ninth Circuit but not appealed to SCOTUS, about the intersection of sexual harassment law under Title VII and the First Amendment. My favorite part of the moot was when Judge Garland, asking a question about whether forms of sexual harassment which may also be assault, e.g., pinching, would be actionable, made a pinching gesture with his fingers to petitioner's counsel, Vanessa Countryman. By the end of the moot, he had all participants and the crowd laughing along with him.

Students arguing on behalf of Reverend Elvig were Sarah Sulkowski (3L) and Ashley Keller (2L). Aruging on behalf of the church were Vanessa Countryman (3L) and Jeff Mandell (2L). For your fashion review, we only saw the judges in their judicial robes, although Garland was wearing a natty baby blue tie. The participants rose to the occasion fashion-wise, especially Ms. Countryman, who sported a very stylish 5-strand pearl necklace over her black suit, really raising the bar for the otherwise unfortunate U of C fashion sense.

9. Finally, some time ago -- yes, the vagueness is intentional, to conceal A3G's lateness -- Judge Lee H. Rosenthal (S.D. Tex.) and Judge Shira A. Scheindlin (S.D.N.Y.) were spotted in our nation's capital. They were in Washington for hearings on proposed amendments to the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure concerning electronic discovery:

Judge Rosenthal chaired the hearing, but the proceedings were a veritable tag team. During the break, the Honorables both rushed up to a testifying witness to ask the same question. Judge Rosenthal said, "We're always tripping over each other," and Judge Scheindlin replied, "It's an embarassment!"

Judge Scheindlin of course wrote the landmark Zubulake opinions on electronic discovery, and no one but Judge Rosenthal was as sharp on the issues. They carefully questioned each witness, and despite their godly status, gave everyone in the room an uncommon amount of respect.

Quite interesting! A3G is glad to hear that Judge Shira Scheindlin -- who, while no relation to Judge Judy Sheindlin, has a reputation for being similarly tough and demanding, a bit of a judicial diva -- was friendly and charming.

********************

Whew! A3G is just plum [sic?] tuckered out from all of this judicial celebrity spotting! But don't worry -- she still has enough energy to write up a profile of Justice Ginsburg's next set of clerks, which should be issued any day now. Last call for tidbit submissions!

Oh, and looking ahead to Justice Breyer's clerks, trivia and fun facts about them would also be most welcome. A3G has decent amounts of "tidbitage" about Danielle G. and Kathryn J.-- and she has enough on Jon K. to write a young-adult biography on him. But if you have any good info about the mysterious John L., please send it her way.

Justice Thomas's OT 2005 Clerks

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Article III Groupie."
"Article III Groupie who?"
"Article III Groupie, who wants to prepare fawning celebrity profiles of your incoming law clerks!"
"Oh, in that case -- come on in, Groupie! Sorry to be so cagey -- I thought you might be that high-tech lynch mob..."

Article Three Groupie is just delighted to find herself inside the chambers of Justice Clarence Thomas, who is truly one of her most favorite justices. CT is a jurist who makes for great copy. Just think about his remarkable personal history, including his rise from humble beginnings in Pin Point, Georgia, as well as his dramatic confirmation hearings, which transfixed the entire country. (A3G can't wait to read his autobiography when it comes out!)

Notwithstanding the ill-informed opinions of Senator Harry Reid, CT has developed an impressive track record as a Supreme Court justice. Numerous commentators have written about Justice Thomas's distinctive and compelling approach to constitutional interpretation, which reflects a deep understanding of history and an intellectually challenging take on stare decisis. In addition, Justice Thomas has also issued opinions of great clarity and analytical rigor in various hypertechnical areas of statutory law. Even those who disagree with Justice Thomas's views have been forced to concede that he has become an intellectual force to be reckoned with on the Court.*

Whoa, that last paragraph was dangerously substantive! And why would you want to hear what A3G, a member of the Great Unwashed, has to say about matters of substance? Let's return to the frivolous; enough drooling over the jurisprudence of Justice Thomas. Today we're here to talk about his law clerks for next Term, who are just as fantastic as their boss. Please join A3G in her cyber-salute to CT's clerks for the October Term 2005!

1. Chantel Febus (GW '02/Lamberth (D.D.C.) '03-'04/E. Jones '04-'05

Tidbits:

(a) Chantel Febus is "by all accounts a pretty conservative and very smart woman -- perhaps a Janice Rogers Brown in training" (delicious!);
(b) she earned her law degree at GW Law School (which as of late has been doing quite well in the Supreme Court clerkship race);
(c) during her time as an undergraduate at St. John Fisher College, she interned for Justice Thomas;
(d) she paid a visit to San Diego last month; and
(e) she is a huge fan of Lenny Kravitz.

2. James C. Ho (Chicago '99/J. Smith)

Tidbits:

(a) he is currently serving as chief counsel to Senator John Cornyn on the Senate Judiciary Committee, where he has earned praise for his bipartisanship, as well as recognition for being among "the best 35 staffers under age 35";
(b) James Ho is "unbelievably well-connected," which is not surprising given the impressive positions he has held at top outposts of legal conservatism (which A3G won't bore you with; you can read about his many achievements here and here);
(c) his résumé includes a stint at the Finishing School for the Elect, where he authored a memo on the Geneva Conventions that was cited in footnote 8 of the controversial Bybee/Yoo memo on interrogation and torture (pdf);
(d) Jim Ho was described by liberal blogger Max Blumenthal as "that good-looking guy sitting behind Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) during [Attorney General Alberto] Gonzales's [confirmation] hearing" (see here);
(e) he is "known to be shy but loyal and surprisingly funny";
(f) he puts his sense of humor to good use as a senior editor of The Green Bag, and he also finds the time to serve on the board of the Asian Pacific American Bar Association Educational Fund;
(g) he is married to a fellow member of the Elect, Allyson Newton Ho (SOC, OT 2002); and
(h) he's "a sucker for ice cream and Morton's dinners, and if you want to distract him, just ask him if he wants to play Texas hold 'em."

(Perhaps Jim Ho, incoming Breyer clerk Jonathan Kravis, and incoming O'Connor clerk Ben Horwich -- poker aficionados all -- can set up a law clerk poker tournament at One First Street?)

3. John M. Hughes (Chicago '04/Luttigator)

Tidbits:

(a) as a "first-rate college debater" for Wake Forest, John Hughes was "a relentless competitor with a golden tongue," demonstrating "striking personal vigor and charisma" (as seen in the photo at right);
(b) his incredibly successful debate career earned him the accolade of "MVD" (Most Valuable Debater) for 1995-96;
(c) after "unexpectedly disappearing to the midwest somewhere," John Hughes "reemerged several years later to dominate (expectedly) the University of Chicago Law School";
(d) he and his wife Amy, a health care consultant for Mitretek Healthcare, met during their time together at Wake Forest; and
(e) John and Amy have an absolutely adorable baby boy, Jack Hughes, who was born on July 7, 2004 (see here, and picture at left).

4. Ashley Jones Johnson (Vanderbilt '04/Luttigatrix)

Tidbits:

(a) Ashley Johnson received her undergraduate and law degrees at Vanderbilt;
(b) as a Vanderbilt undergrad, she did an impressive double major in history and math;
(c) she was planning to pursue graduate studies in math (wow) -- but then she, like her Luttig/Thomas co-clerk John Hughes, got bitten by the debate bug;
(d) as she explained in this interview, she joined the debate team in her junior year, which then lured her over to the law, since "[a] lot of people on the debate team were going to law school" (and she was "tired of math");
(e) sorry, guys, she's married -- to Adam Johnson, a health care consultant for Stockamp & Associates;
(f) they're both huge fans of Vanderbilt basketball (see photo at right of them at a game); and
(g) Ashley's family is from Birmingham, Alabama, and she'll be visiting them after her Luttigatrix stint ends in June and before her CT gig starts up in July.

********************

Most excellent! A3G is very envious of these four amazing and accomplished individuals, who will get to spend a year working closely with Justice Thomas -- and hearing his famous Darth Vader impression ("You have failed me for the last time, John..."). She offers them her congratulations and sincere wishes for a great OT with CT.

They are sure to have a good time with the friendly and fun-loving Justice Thomas. As noted in this bio by the Supreme Court Historical Society, Justice Thomas is "[g]regarious, with a hearty laugh," and known to enjoy "lifting weights, watching basketball, and smoking cigars." (In fact, until an injury sidelined him some years ago, Justice Thomas would even play basketball with law clerks at the Supreme Court basketball court.) CT is well-known around One First Street as one of the most friendly and accessible justices.

In closing, Article Three Groupie would like to tie up one loose end. She previously reported (see item #2) that Larry D. Thompson, Jr., son of former Deputy Attorney General Larry Thompson, had been hired by Justice Thomas for OT 2004, but had deferred his clerkship. A3G assumed that Luttigator Larry would be one of CT's clerks for OT 2005 (which is why she included him on this preliminary listing of clerks).

But then multiple sources confirmed that the incoming Thomas clerks are Chantel Febus, James Ho, John Hughes, and Ashley J. Johnson. She heard one rumor that Thompson had deferred until OT 2006, and she heard another rumor that LT won't be clerking for CT at all. Can anyone she some light on this? If so, please email A3G.

If the latter rumor is true, it could have implications for Judge J. Michael Luttig's nearly perfect record as a Supreme Court feeder judge (which explains A3G's excessive, schadenfreude-driven interest in it). Article 3 Groupie must emphasize, however, that right now it's merely a rumor -- nothing has been confirmed. After all, A3G would not want to be sued by Mr. Thompson for impugning his status as a Supreme Court clerk. Accusing a member of the Elect of being one of the Great Unwashed is defamatory per se!

Hasta luego!

* If A3G had her druthers, CT would participate more actively at oral arguments. While his humility and restraint are admirable -- unlike some justices, he isn't in love with the sound of his own voice -- he could afford to speak more from the bench without crossing the line into obnoxiousness.

Searching Underneath the Robes: "big ass clerks"

Now, a short digression from the topic of OT 2005 Supreme Court clerks, while A3G waits for a few more juicy tidbits about Justice Thomas's incoming clerks (especially John H. and Ashley J.)...

It has been a while since Article III Groupie shared with you some of the more strange, amusing, or intriguing Google searches that have brought people to her blog. So she now brings you her latest Searching Underneath the Robes post. But first, some prefatory remarks.

1. The title of this category may be something of a misnomer, since it has nothing to do with how to search this blog for specific terms or names. If you do want to run a site search of UTR, go to Google and type in the following:

site:underneaththeirrobes.blogs.com [your desired search terms]

This will show you where your search terms have previously appeared in the pages of this august blawg. For example, you can search the entirety of Underneath Their Robes for references to your favorite federal judges. Try it -- it's fun! (If you think that an expected post is missing from what the results of your search, scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the "repeat the search with the omitted results included" link.)

Also, remember that the site search function is a bit like Westlaw: to get the best results, you must use the correct search terms. Don't forget that A3G frequently refers to certain federal judges, particular the biggest Article III celebrities, by their nicknames (e.g., "The Rock Star of One First Street," "The Easy Rider," "The Giant Hedgehog," "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," "Guido," etc.). So don't overlook this fact when running your site seaches.

2. A3G learns about the internet searches that bring people to her blog by periodically reviewing her website referrers log, which provides her with basic information about how people access her site. (She has not yet obtained a more detailed tracker; she relies upon the fairly barebones one provided by Typepad.) Because A3G doesn't review her referrers log all the time, she misses many interesting or funny searches. As a result, these listings are never exhaustive.

And now, on to today's searches. It's interesting to try and picture the people who stumble upon UTR by running the web queries listed below.

1. As always, many people arrive at UTR in search of practical information, "news you can use," and helpful advice:

--how to let him kiss me
--if you missed your own wedding can the girl sue for embarrassment [hmm, a tough sell; maybe the tort of outrage?]
--How a husband apologizes for looking at porn
--best IL judge to work for [that's an easy question to answer: in the district court, this judge; in the circuit court, this judge]
--Indiana penalty for unpaid speeding ticket
--open or closed toed shoes with graduation robe
--email addresses for all female lawyers in new york
--constructive info on what jaguars eat and how they get their food [huh?]
--should i show my thongs [well, just stay away from Virginia!*]

2. Speaking of thongs, they are a topic of obsessive interest to UTR readers, as reflected in the searches below. It's understandable. After all, as this amusing article reminds us, "Monica Lewinsky seduced the most powerful man in the world with a flash of her thong.... Eve had her apple. Monica had her thong."

The luscious Lewinsky's seduction of President Bill Clinton set into motion a sequence of cataclysmic events, culminating in the first presidential impeachment since Andrew Johnson. The thong could therefore be viewed as a world-historical undergarment. (Yes, Hegel is turning over in his grave right now...)

--can nuns wear thongs [sure, why not? a nun's habit could give rise to VPL]
--Are thongs immodest [not necessarily]

--child actresses must wear thongs [really?]

--thongs showing blog

--pictures of girls in thongs

3. Some access UTR by running weird, perverse, or disturbing searches, with absolutely nothing to do with federal judges, the putative subject of this blawg:

--mother in law stares at son in laws package

--photos of little sister showing her brother her first pubic hair

--old men taking advantage of passed out son girlfriend porn pics

--do male Beagles eat their own dropping

--unwashed panties photos

--nude female white supremacist

--horny women over 50 wearing high heels spreading their legs

--celebrities that eat krispy kremes

--ghetto brawling on video

4. In light of many searches like the one below, A3G must clarify that the #1 Female Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary never appeared in Playboy magazine (i.e., she was never a Playmate). She merely trained, for a very brief time, to work as a Playboy bunny in the London Playboy Club. (For more detail, see here, item #3.)

--Ex playmate kimba wood

5. For some people, however, the Southern District of New York isn't good enough. They lust after justices; they are "High Court hos"**:

--naked supreme court judges

6. Speaking of First Street fantasies -- if this blog existed, it would be A3G's dream come true!

--address for (Justice) Rehnquist's blog

Actually, come to think of it, the Chief would be a terrible blogger. Chief Justice Rehnquist is known for the concision of his opinions; he never says more than is necessary, and he refuses to ramble on in self-indulgent fashion, like a good blogger should. (Perhaps someone could do a funny parody of a WHR blog -- hopefully something in better taste than this parodic blog.)

By the way, the idea of a federal judge who blogs may not be that far-fetched. After all, Judge Richard A. Posner has his own blog!

7. These blogs do exist, interestingly enough:

--catholic nun blogs

For example, take Moniales Op, a blog by Dominican nuns. The blog had some interesting posts last month, when Pope John Paul II passed away and Pope Benedict XVI took his place.

A3G was, by the way, transfixed by the pomp and circumstance surrounding Pope John Paul II's funeral and the selection of his successor. The conclave of cardinals was majestically impressive. The sight of these distinguished men clad in identical crimson vestments sent chills up her spine, conjuring up the glamour of a court sitting en banc...

The ritualistic magnificence of the papal proceedings underscored some core truths of Underneath Their Robes, the premises upon which this blog is based: glamour can be found in the most unexpected places; celebrity resides not just in firm young flesh, but in the sagging skin of old white men...

8. Uh, NO...

--should men wear thongs yes or no

--Federal Judges Should Read Their Moral Views into the Constitution

--is justice scalia gay [If so -- jeez, talk about self-loathing!]

9. Uh, YES!!!

--hillary clinton is sexy [If A3G were to explore the L-thing, a la Marissa on "The OC"...]

--hillary was an attractive and sexy young smoker

--Chris Wray sexiest man in the right wing conspiracy [For more, see here. Christopher Wray, by the way, has left the DOJ and is back at King & Spaulding.]

10. Uh, no comment:

--berzon b***h

(As A3G has previously stated, she is too scared to write about You-Know-Who in her blog...)

11. A3G is kinda tired, so write your own punchlines for these searches:

--how to pronounce koeltl

--big ass clerks

--eligible bachelorettes in Hamilton, Ontario

Okay, that's all for now. Hurry up and send A3G some quality tidbits about John H. and Ashley J., so she can get this party started. Later!

* As mentioned in this article, some people are complaining about the proposed Virginia legislation regulating underwear visibility on equal protection grounds, arguing that it would have a disparate impact upon racial minorities. My goodness! This reaction is even more stupid than the bill itself...

** A3G thanks the many readers who brought a very funny footnote from a recent Seventh Circuit opinion to her attention. You can read about that footnote here (Appellate Law & Practice) and here (How Appealing), among other places.

Justice Souter's OT 2005 Clerks

Over the past few weeks, Article III Groupie has issued puff pieces profiling the incoming clerk classes of Chief Justice Rehnquist, Justice Stevens, Justice O'Connor, Justice Scalia, and Justice Kennedy. (Click on the link for each justice to see their clerks.) Since A3G is going from chambers to chambers in descending order of seniority, she must now turn her attention to DHS.

Truth be told, A3G has never been a huge DHS fan. Those orange alerts are so stupid! Let's hope that ex-Judge Michael Chertoff turns the place upside down as DHS Secretary... (By the way, it seems that people in Japan are interested in Secretary Chertoff's private life: check out this Google search that led someone to UTR.)

Oh, sorry -- wrong DHS! The subject at hand is actually Justice David H. Souter, a.k.a. "The Yankee Justice." And once again, to be perfectly frank, A3G is not a huge fan. She still feels somewhat betrayed by this lapsed conservative, who stole the One First Street berth that rightfully belonged to that magnificent judicial diva cum hottie, Judge Edith H. Jones (5th Cir.), a.k.a. the Horsewoman of the Right-Wing Apocalypse. (For more, see here, item #3, wherein A3G quipped, "Et tu, Souter?")

A3G also wishes that Justice Souter made for better copy. In contrast to the flamboyant Rock Star of One First Street, who's always getting into trouble somewhere, the Yankee Justice leads a quiet bachelor's life. Couldn't he do something to liven things up -- like start dating Katie Holmes?*

Article III Groupie has even allowed her personal feelings about Justice Souter to affect her editorial judgment. As some of you may recall, last July A3G pleaded guilty to obstruction of Justice Souter, in her federal judicial hottie contest (see here, item #4). Alas, despite her best efforts to sabotage his candidacy by posting the most unflattering photos she could find, Justice Souter still managed to become the #4 Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary (male) -- the only member of the Supreme Court to make the list. Notwithstanding A3G's disapproval, UTR readers were apparently of the view that when it comes to judicial hotness, David Souter sure can Hackett!

Okay, enough of A3G's carping from the sidelines. No matter what she might say about him, Justice Souter still collects his mail at One First Street. And even if Justice Souter may be less than fabulous himself, at least he hires fabulous folks. So let us now praise famous clerks: DHS's clerks for the October Term 2005!

1. Jeanne C. Fromer (Harvard '02/Sack)

Tidbits:

(a) Jeanne Fromer is currently a fellow at the Information Society Project at Yale Law School, where her research foucses on some pretty heady stuff: "patent law, law and technology, and cognitive and computational approaches to the law";**
(b) she graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law School, where she served on the Harvard Law Review;
(c) she worked as an intellectual property lawyer at Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr LLP (nee Hale & Dorr);
(d) she received her undergraduate degree from Barnard in computer science, graduating summa cum laude, then earned her master's degree in electrical engineering and computer science from MIT (where she was an NSF research fellow and an AT&T Labs fellow; Larry Summers, eat your heart out!); and
(e) she thinks that "Palmtrees rule!" (Is she referring to the plants, or the software, or something else?)

2. Meaghan McLaine (Harvard '04/Garland)

Tidbits:

(a) in addition to being "incredibly brilliant" and "one of the quickest people in her class to challenge BS," Meaghan is a talented karaoke peformer (and yes, she takes requests -- ask for anything by the Beastie Boys);
(b) she has an adorable bulldog named Bella (see pic at right);
(c) she was a summer associate at Goldstein & Howe (by the way, welcome, SCOTUSblog readers!);
(d) she is an avid fan of the Yankees and North Carolina basketball;
(e) in response to A3G's prior inquiry into her favorite breakfast cereal, a reader advises, "actually, she prefers yogurt" (something she shares in common with her future boss, who eats it every day for lunch);
(f) she enjoyed the snooz-inducing All the Real Girls (one of her few apparent flaws; there's a difference between subtle and soporific); and
(g) she is "a devastatingly gorgeous heartbreaker," deemed by one UTR correspondent to be "at least as cute as her future co-clerk Allison Orr" (profiled infra).

3. Jon D. Michaels (Yale '03/Guido-maniac)

Tidbits:

(a) Jon Michaels graduated from Williams College, where he scored a Truman Scholarship and a Marshall Scholarship;***
(b) he went to Yale for law school, where he was an articles editor for the Yale Law Journal;
(c) speaking of Yale Law School, he is getting married in its courtyard this summer, with big pimpin' feeder Judge Guido Calabresi officiating; and
(d) Jon is a close friend and former roommate of fellow Guido-maniac Jacob J. Sullivan, currently clerking at the Court, for Justice Breyer.

4. Allison Orr (UVA '04/Wilkinson)

Tidbits:

(a) she is a graduate of William & Mary and the University of Virginia Law School, where she graduated first in her class and served on the Virginia Law Review;
(b) she was a "superstar" of her summer class at Covington & Burling -- a class that also included Randy Kozel, Jeff Pojanowski, and Ann O'Connell;
(c) she is not related to Dudley Orr, the founder of Orr & Reno, the Concord, New Hampshire law firm where young David Souter began his legal career;
(d) Alli Orr "loves all things Virginia, including and especially the rock/go-go band known as Virginia Coalition";
(e) she goes running at lunchtime with her current boss, Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson III (a.k.a. "The Aging Divo"), whom she has gushingly described as "very lovable" (maybe she can go jogging with her future boss as well, to provide him with extra security?); and
(f) she has a "captivating" singing voice, which she would showcase by performing in the UVA Law student revue, The Libel Show (which is where the photo at right of her shakin' her booty comes from; go ahead, click on the thumbnail for a better view!).

This news story about Allison Orr tells the funny story of how she learned that she might have a job at One First Street:

No matter how accomplished you are, there are still a few things that can floor you. This message on your answering machine is one of them: "Hello. This is David Souter. I am calling about your clerkship interview. Please call me back when you have a free minute."

An answering machine message from a Supreme Court justice? Wow! How much do you think the tape could fetch on eBay? It sure beats voice-mail from Paula Abdul -- or those annoying automated telemarketer messages that A3G gets so often...

And what a delightful lack of pretense! A simple, humble, down-to-earth greeting: "Hello. This is David Souter." Why not "Hello, this is Justice Souter," or "Hello, this is the fourth-hottest man in the federal judiciary"? If A3G were a Supreme Court justice, she wouldn't be able to resist leaving messages like this one:

Greetings, mortal. This is the Honorable Article 3 Groupie, calling you from Mount Olympus, a.k.a. One First Street. Are you there? Are you screening? You better not be screening. I AM A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, goddamnit!!! Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

********************

Magnificent!! In the words of Gwen Stefani, who does screen her phone calls, "this s**t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

Maybe the early bird doesn't always get the worm. Justice Souter typically hires last among the justices -- he was conducting interviews as late as February, for OT 2005 clerkships starting this summer. But based on the four impressive individuals described above, DHS still managed to score some pretty prime produce, despite his late arrival to market.

Regardless of her issues with Justice Souter, A3G sends her fondest felicitations to his law clerks for the upcoming Term. And she has a favor to ask of them as well: Can you tell her if there's any truth to this proposition, reflected in a Google search that recently brought someone to this blog?

* Before a bunch of you send her emails seeking a retraction, A3G will state: Yes, she has heard the rumor that Justice Souter is funny and witty in small settings. But that doesn't change the fact that he keeps a disappointingly low public profile. For example, when was the last time he gave a public speech referencing orgies or sodomy?

** The Information Society Project is also the current home of future SOC clerk Amy Kapczysnki. Is the ISP turning into a waystation for The Elect, a la the Bristow Fellowship program or the Office of Legal Counsel?

*** As you have no doubt noticed, there are tons of Rhodes and Marshall Scholars among The Elect, October Term 2005 (e.g., D. John Sauer, Evan Young, Amy Kapczynski, Sarah McCallum). It seems that if you narrowly miss snagging one of these prestigious fellowships while in college (like A3G did), then you might as well kiss your Supreme Court clerkship hopes goodbye -- even before your first day of law school. Oh, how the rich get richer!