Searching Underneath the Robes: "when should girls wear thongs"

Awakening from her blogging torpor, Article III Groupie is trying to get back into the habit of posting. And few posts are easier to shoot off than those in the Searching Underneath the Robes category. So here are some of the more funny and interesting internet searches, conducted with Google and other search engines, that have brought web surfers to this blog:

1. Some people come to UTR seeking practical information, such as fashion tips, shopping recommendations, and employment advice:

--when should girls wear thongs
--where do nuns buy their underwear?
--common interview questions olive garden

2. Some people reach this blawg by running very weird searches, many of which have nothing to do with the federal judiciary. Here are the finalists for UTR's "WTF Prize":

--names of people who can do weird things with their private parts

--letters by horny female writers

--sexy girls white ice cream

--rehearing food chafing dish

--gay men in santa's clothes

--my son got 84 months in federal how maNY MONTHS IS HE GOING TO GET FOR THE HALFWAY HOUSE

--Yes, Audrey, you do need past present and future people on you power point for Ohio

--SLAPPED IN THE BALLS

--how to wish someone a happy birthday who has passed away

--pictures of good looking nuns

--Homicide case in california 2004 lady was a groupie

--two girls sitting at a computer with their thongs showing

--has steven hawkins [sic] ever had sex [Answer: presumably yes; Professor Stephen Hawking has three children]

3. And some people run searches that A3G finds depressing and pathetic:

--robes under 40 dollars
--how to become a state court judge
--become a new york state traffic court judge

4. Uh, try "1-900-FEEDER":

--Judge J. Michael Luttig phone number

5. Please, darling, get it right -- it's "Groupie":

--"article III" slut whore

6. A3G's advice: be brilliant, and have an IQ over 200:

--How to clerk for Richard Posner

7. How about "a lifetime appointment to a federal court"?

--what makes middle age men hot

8. Well, it's long, and it's hard, and it has a knobby head:

--what does a gavel look like

9. Don't hold your breath, honey; the Chief has bigger fish to fry:

--WILL JUSTICE REHNQUIST RESPOND TO MY LETTER

10. A3G's proposed response: "Faff about One First Street, while meditating on your own brilliance; mourn the closing of the Supreme Court barbershop, including dropping the name of your favorite barber; and lazily turn the pages of cert petitions, while members of the Great Unwashed feed you peeled and seedless grapes."

--US SUPREME COURT CLERK JOB DESCRIPTION
--life of a high court judges clerk

11. Only in A3G's dreams:

--prada courthouse

12. And only in A3G's nightmares -- God save that Honorable Court!

--justice reinhardt
--justice betty b fletcher
--justice sandra lynch

Fascinated by Google Suggest (go there and start typing "underneath their robes"),

Article III Groupie

Comments

[eminem]

i'd love 2 meet 1 of u guys

[thompson]

i need a girl i'm 19 male in nigeria my email address is [email protected]

[Robes Terry]

Thanks for the post and the great blog. I enjoy it very much.