My fellow Americans: Greetings from Article III Groupie, in the wake of Election Day 2004. The past few days have been very momentous ones for our nation--as well as busy ones for A3G in the office, which is why she has been away from the blawg world for a little while.
Let's start off with some election-related Judicial SIGHT-ations:
--"On the morning of Election Day, I spotted Judge [Robert B.] Kugler (D.N.J.) at the polls in Haddonfield, NJ. As I was arriving, he was leaving--presumably after voting for Bush, who appointed him to the bench. The District Court here was closed today, so he was enjoying a day off and 'freerobing' it."
--"I saw [former Sixth Circuit judge] Nathaniel R. Jones (again) the day after Election Day, crossing the street in a crosswalk here in Cincinnati. Not terribly exciting, but I can report that he waits for the light before he crosses, and was wearing a very nice black cashmere overcoat. Fabric looks great--very soft. He was yawning and not covering his mouth. But who does when they think no one is looking! Did not appear to be too disconsolate over the Kerry/Edwards loss..."
As for the results of Election Day 2004, La Groupie is generally pleased, although not ecstatic. She recognizes that President Bush is not perfect; it might be more accurate to say she is glad a certain sepulchral senator did not prevail. (But she is disappointed that we won't be getting the magnificently ridiculous Teresa Heinz Kerry as our First Lady, which would have amounted to a hilarious sitcom with a guaranteed run of four seasons.)
A3G's primary reaction to the election is relief at a clear result. While an election resolved in the courts would surely have generated some juicy judicial gossip--see, e.g., the Vanity Fair article on Bush v. Gore--even A3G believes that gossip can sometimes come at too high a cost.
Obviously A3G is most interested in what Bush's reelection will mean for the federal judiciary, particularly the Supreme Court (especially in light of the news that Chief Justice Rehnquist's cancer may be more serious than originally reported). The Republicans' net gain of four seats in the Senate could make the confirmation process for judicial nominees marginally easier, but since the Republicans are still shy of a filibuster-proof majority, one shouldn't expect too much. A3G's beloved right-wing judicial divas, for example, probably won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
Okay, 'nuff said; A3G will not proceed further down the path of political punditry. After all, she is Article III Groupie, not "Article I and II Groupie" (that would be A3G's idol, Wonkette.) A3G would much rather talk about glamorous judicial celebrities, appointed for life and accountable to no one, than presidential or congressional candidates, who must pander to the hoi polloi to secure their power. Furthermore, political discussions quickly devolve into substantive policy discussions, and A3G, as you all know, thinks substance is icky. To be sure, she is perfectly capable of providing rigorous analysis when required to do so; they don't pay her the biglaw bucks for nothing. But she'd much rather focus on style over substance!
So, back to UTR's regularly scheduled programming: fawning over federal judicial fabulousness, through the latest edition of Courthouse Forum. A recent message thread over at Greedy Clerks, started by this posting by "Angry White Clerk," is entitled "Posner v. Kozinski." It appears that AWC was clairvoyant in giving his posting such a title. Consider this e-mail, which A3G received last week:
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004
From: The Easy Rider
To: Article III Groupie
Subject: Be there or be square
Let's say someone built a trap to catch A3G. What would the bait look like? See attached. Ciao. AK
WOW! Posner v. Kozinski, indeed! A3G loves both of these brilliant jurists dearly, and she can't wait to find out who will prevail in this Article III celebrity deathmatch.
Unfortunately, A3G will not be able to attend this clash of the titans, to be held in New York on November 19, 2004. She will have to rely upon intelligence from UTR's correspondents in the field. (Southern Diva of New York, are you out there?) A3G sent her regrets to Judge Kozinski in the following message:
Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 05:38:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Article III Groupie
Subject: Re: Be there or be square
To: The Easy Rider
Dear Judge Kozinski:
You're absolutely right--what a great (and tempting) event! Thank you for letting me know about it. I will definitely be sharing this with my readers; I won't be able to attend personally, but I will hopefully have spies in the audience for judicial sight-ations purposes...
Best,
A3G
Judge Kozinski, however, made an adverse credibility finding with respect to A3G's RSVP:
Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 14:24:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: The Easy Rider
To: Article III Groupie
Subject: Re: Be there or be square
Well, you *say* you won't be there, but I don't believe you can resist. I'll be on the lookout for a stylishly dressed woman in her late 20s or early 30s, wearing Jimmy Choo shoes, a Hermès scarf, a Prada handbag and with the faintest outline of La Perlas visible through the skirt of her Sonia Rykiel suit. I doubt I'll have much trouble spotting you, but you can count on my discretion not to out you.
Order in the court! Banging her gavel, A3G must now call a UTR sidebar: the subsequent sizzling missives in this chain are not suitable for publication in these pages. (And A3G has to ask herself: What is up with these naughty judges from Romania?)
On a somewhat different note, A3G would like to share with you a lovely note she received from the wife of a prominent circuit judge (who has not appeared in UTR's pages up to this point). The letter was a response to A3G's depressive "Reflections on Life," which were originally published at the end of this post. A3G is pleased to reprint it here, not just because of the compliments it extends to the perpetually insecure A3G, but also because it is thoughtful and thought-provoking:
Subject: Reflections on Life
Date: Thu, 21 Oct 2004 09:54:31 -0400
From: [Wife of Prominent Circuit Judge]
To: Article III Groupie
Dearest A3G:
You do, indeed, touch the hearts of many. Probably most of us do not give you enough courtesy by letting you know how much you mean to us. Sorry to have been remiss in that regard.
I was moved, however, to respond to your recent post "Reflections on Life." I, who have never even aspired to be an Important Person, happen to have fallen into clover by marrying one of the Important People (listed by category) in your post. (Indeed, upon hearing of my engagement, one of my former [colleagues] said, "You are soon to become a Very Important Person.") Alas, and alack, one does not become Important by Marriage. That is a status one can achieve only by one's own accomplishments....
That all being said, I must disclose that I have reckoned myself one of the very most fortunate people to be able to mingle among the Important, and to observe them "up close and personal." What I have learned is that your second reflection [i.e., that "For the Important, Life is a never-ending parade of triumphs and joys"] is TERRIBLY AMISS. What distinguishes the Important from the rest of us is not that they never have setbacks, but the way in which they respond to them. Those life events which you listed as failures and proof of mediocrity they either forget about immediately or consider fun challenges to be overcome. It is truly amazing to watch. I am thinking many of them knew they were Important long before they became Important, and simply believed that the things that happened to them could not possibly be bad. Their contentment comes from having done what laid before them the best way they could.
What is curious to me is that you, who are truly IMPORTANT in our lives, could not recognize that fact. You have a loyal national following - even AWC from Greedy Clerks, who does not like chicks. Keep up the good fight, and by the time you are Sandra Day O'Connor's age, you too will be More than Important.
A3G thanks the Easy Rider and the Wife of Prominent Circuit Judge for their entertaining and enlightening letters. She encourages all of her readers to continue sending her delicious morsels of judicial gossip by e-mail (even though she is once again behind in responding to reader mail, thanks to a project at work that flared up earlier this week).
Back to blogging, despite some eye strain problems,
I once saw Judge Douglas Ginsburg in a Caribou Coffee as, coincidentally, I was discussing one of his recent opinions with two other attorneys, and the frisson of it was all we could talk about for weeks.
Posted by: Ted | November 15, 2004 at 05:31 PM
That is not true! If you saw Halle Berry, Jennifer Anniston or Mo Rocca crossing the street, would you not comment on that to your significant other upon arriving home? Of course you would. The same is true with federal judges! I can barely refrain from snapping photos madly, or screaming adoringly.
Obviously, you do not accord federal judges enough respect.
Posted by: Loyal Cinci Correspondent | November 08, 2004 at 02:31 PM
Love the blog, A3G, but you might want to think about scaling back on the judicial sightings feature. No one really cares if someone saw this or that judge crossing the street. We'd rather hear your witty opinions on judicial issues, if you lack news to talk about.
Posted by: Jason | November 08, 2004 at 10:36 AM