The dearly departed Curmudgeonly Clerk described "Underneath Their Robes," in this post, as "the weirdest legal weblog in existence." Article III Groupie agrees wholeheartedly. And now, to provide further support for UTR's strangeness, A3G will now share with her readers some of the surprising and bizarre searches that have brought readers to the pages of UTR. These searches were conducted using several different search engines, including but not limited to Google, Yahoo!, MSN Search, AOL Web Search, and AltaVista. A3G has organized the searches according to what we can learn from the fact that they're being conducted.
1. If you think Article III Groupie is an odd duck, consider the weirdos who ran these strange searches, which led them to "Underneath Their Robes":
--Katherine Harris swimsuit photo
--sexual female body cavity search stories and pictures
--free erotic stories about ny uncle cumming inside me [UTR is the 17th-ranked Google result--yikes!]
--Mrs Bush may be uppity, but she has nice buttocks
--Justice Ginsburg is sexy [assumes a fact not in evidence]
--+souter +sexy [same as above, although many would disagree with A3G]
--i'm too sexy ogre dancing
--celebrity women scratching their ass
--sexy old men [but see judicial hottie Alfred T. Goodwin]
--men in their underwear with their pp hanging out
--celebrities wearing maxi pads
--her big ass looks good
--banging mom
--"like to squeeze his balls"
--sexy poses on train tracks
--DUCK HUNTING DIVAS
--Chattel is won by reversal
--hotties nuns
--Williams County 4-H Miscellanous Judging Project Winners-2004
--divas with butts spread
--green submissive male story
--free waiver form for mud wrestling
--100%ghetto brawling
--sweet justice hot tub
--"robes de britney spears"
[Hmm... What on earth could that last item be about? If President Bush is reelected, will Britney Spears be rewarded for her public support of the president with a federal judgeship? Imagine the parentheticals! E.g., "Spears, J., cheating on Timberlake, J."]
2. Do not count Article III Groupie among them, but some people are turned on by lots of body hair:
--i need a hunky black gay male with a big hairy are
--free hairy mater diva
--hairy senior divas
--Hirsute Black Divas
3. A few people use the internet for legal research (but are quickly distracted by delicious weblogs of federal judicial gossip). A3G apologizes to the serious-minded readers who had legitimate research queries and wound up in UTR, of all places...
--richmond virginia judge harris divorce guidelines
--"early election" results MO August 2004 primary
--Article III precedents
--Colleen McMahon opinion on Blakely
--legal realism justice breyer
--nancy gertner trademark decision
--recent federal sentences for bank embezzlement
--Judge Patricia Seitz recent sentencing
--4th judicial district blakely opinions
--request for discovery in New York
4. Some people use the internet for "research"--but many more use it for porn! As you review these searches, all of which directed internet traffic to "Underneath Their Robes," please remind yourself that UTR is, at least nominally, a law-related weblog or "blawg."
Yes, A3G recognizes that some of the searches below don't exactly target porn in the most technical sense--to the extent that there is a "technical" definition of pornography, in light of Justice Stewart's famous dictum. But surely these searches reflect prurient interests.
--penthouse forum letter
--hot female construction babes
--teen idol boxers or briefs
--Hotties in stilettos
--"Diane Sawyer" "great legs"
--former porn actress private life
--big cocked men
--santa's hot girl helpers
--famous female hotties free
--hot paintball gal
--babes taking off their shirts
--black college female hotties
--sexy hispanic hotties
--hot southern ladies
--victoria's secrets
--free thumbnail photos of ladies in their underwear
--Seashore nude pretty girls Photograph
--beautiful female bodies active photos
--sexy people.com
--"kimba wood" and playboy
--blond male hotties
--big swinging johnson
--websites of big busted women
--Bare Buttocks of Male Hunks
--fantasy twin divas together
--sexy hot male photographs
--girls kissing on girls video clips
--zaftig goddess, pictures
--sexy female golfer
--soap opera star in porno
--eye candy, male
--flawless female bodies photos
--latinas in panties
--bodacious babes
--hot woman in thongs and their cars
--latina ho's
5. Alas, some lonely and horny people go looking for love in all the wrong places:
--pittsburgh legal hotties
--divas of the SEC
--west va hotties [insert incest joke here]
--activist hotties [but see judicial hottie Nancy Gertner]
--oklahoma state hotties [but see judicial hottie Stephanie K. Seymour]
--romanian sexy divas [but see Judge Elena Lala]
--romanian hotties [but see #1 Male Judicial Superhottie Alex Kozinski]
--law school +hot girls
--hot d.c. divas
--high school hotties [this could spell legal trouble]
--eastern block hotties
6. Some people (including several Nelly fans) can't spell:
--its getting hot in here so take off all your close [sic]
--Nelly getting hot in hear [sic]
--latinas with no panti [sic]
--carvel pudgy [sic] ice cream whale
--superstars and there [sic] private life
--marque hot tub [presumably Marquis hot tub]
--nora [sic] jones blond hair white robes two piece
7. Article III Groupie is not the only stalker of the federal judiciary out there. It appears that several other people share her obsession with the private lives of Article III judges:
--Nancy Gertner +affair +Yale
--Judge Carol Amon husband
--raggi sexy women photos
--nora manella address
8. Uh, what other kind is there?
--male guys
--good-looking hotties
--irresistible hotties
--hot hotties
--impressive babes
--FABULOUS BABES
--big men [but see A3G's last boyfriend]
--republican hotties
9. Some pressing inquiries:
--who was penthouse magazine's, miss august 2004?
--What daytime soap did Demi Moore appear in before she got her film career in gear?
--how can you work with someone as sexy as heather locklear
--What does the J.D. degree stand for [Answer: Judicial Diva!]
--mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fairest law firm of them all?
10. Good luck to you--HA!!!
--how to become a Supreme Court clerk
--are federal judicial clerks ever ranked low in class
11. Duh--tell us something we don't know!
--Kimba Wood is hot
--"solicitor general" "prestigious post"
Okay, that's all for now. Article III Groupie apologizes for not putting out more (posts, that is). But fear not, dear readers; you haven't heard the last of A3G...
i will like to free magazine. thank you.
Posted by: collins boateng | May 18, 2005 at 10:52 AM
i love pawnogriphry
Posted by: | April 25, 2005 at 07:56 AM
That's great, good stuff. Man, people are so weird.
Posted by: | September 12, 2004 at 12:17 PM