Underneath Their Robes

Questions Presented: A3G Interviews Federal Judicial Celebrities

Article III Groupie is tremendously excited about the latest addition to UTR, Questions Presented: Article III Groupie Interviews Federal Judicial Celebrities! Inspired by 20 Questions for the Appellate Judge over at How Appealing, as well as the "20 Questions" series at Crescat Sententia, A3G has decided to try her hand at celebrity interviews.

Alas, Article III Groupie can't do interviews without interviewees. So she hereby requests a brave volunteer to serve as the first interviewee for "Questions Presented." She is looking for a federal judge with a robust sense of humor, who doesn't take himself or herself too seriously (despite taking his or her judicial duties quite seriously), and who is willing to allow A3G to engage in a little "sub-robe probing."

To encourage positive responses, Article III Groupie makes the following promises to prospective interviewees:

(1) her 20 questions, to be be posed and answered over e-mail, will be devoid of substantive legal discussion (no surprise there);

(2) her questions will, for the most part, be sycophantic and adoring in tone--like the softballs tossed at Hollywood celebrities by the writers of puff pieces for InStyle or Vanity Fair;

(3) if you feel a question is inappropriate--which is not inconceivable, since A3G has been known to explore the boundaries of good taste--you may simply decline to answer it (and A3G will, consistent with Griffin v. California, not make fun of or otherwise comment on your exercising the right to remain silent); and

(4) any interviewee will be entitled to immunity from gentle mockery in the pages of UTR for, um, "a while."

Now, some of you Article III jurists are surely thinking, "Hmm, this actually sounds like fun. But isn't Underneath Their Robes beneath the dignity of the federal judiciary? Wouldn't an epistolary romance with the dubiously named 'Article III Groupie' torpedo my chances for elevation?"

To assuage your concerns, A3G would point out that she has corresponded with several federal judges, as well as several state court judges, since the debut of UTR. Most of these communications have been conducted on a confidential basis, pursuant to UTR's standard operating procedure. But A3G has also corresponded with two federal judicial superstars--Judge Alex Kozinski and Judge Richard Posner--and has, with permission, published their missives in these pages. And so, if you're thinking that consorting with A3G is beneath you, ask yourself: Am I more brilliant, more influential, and more respected than Judge Posner or Judge Kozinski?

(In the interest of hearing from new voices--and further enhancing UTR's legitimacy, by obtaining yet another federal judge willing to publicly associate himself or herself with this blawg--A3G would like to interview a judge other than Judge Kozinski or Judge Posner for the first issue of "Questions Presented." She hopes, however, that one or both of these eminent jurists might be willing to be interviewed in a future installment.)

In closing, to all you federal judges out there: "Hike up your robe a little more; show your world to A3G!"

Ready to prostrate herself before federal judicial divinity,

Article III Groupie

Courthouse Forum: The Hon. Richard Posner!!!

Welcome to the latest edition of Courthouse Forum: Letters to Article III Groupie. As first explained in this post, Courthouse Forum, in which A3G publishes notable reader correspondence, is UTR's answer to Penthouse Forum. The letters published in Courthouse Forum "will be as stimulating to connoisseurs of federal judicial gossip as Penthouse Forum is to those who appreciate erotica. 'Judge, is that a gavel underneath your robe, or are you just happy to see me?'"

Today Article III Groupie has a piece of correspondence to share that is very brief, but no less delicious for its brevity. In her post "What Federal Judges Want: Federal Judicial 'Wish Lists,'" A3G analyzed the Amazon.com "wish lists" of various federal judges. She closed the post with the contents of her own wish list, including "a romantic dinner at the French Laundry with Judge Richard Posner, at which the doubting Judge Posner will receive irrefutable proof of A3G's feminine identity."

In response to this post, late last week A3G received the following, amusingly titled e-mail message (which she publishes here with the permission of its author):

To: Article III Groupie

Subject: Gender Verification

From: Richard Posner [e-mail address omitted]

Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 17:59:41 -0500

Dear "Article III Groupie," I'm afraid I have no plans to visit California in the near future. But if you're ever in Chicago, I'd be happy to have lunch with you. Richard Posner

Wow! Yes, you read that correctly: A3G was just asked out on a lunch date by the Honorable (and Brilliant and Super-Fabulous) Richard Posner!

Not surprisingly, Article III Groupie practically fainted upon reading this message. She has not had this kind of contact with a federal judicial mega-celebrity since Judge Alex Kozinski descended from Mount Olympus to nominate himself for the superhottie competition (which he ultimately won).

As she has emphatically stated in these pages, Article III Groupie prizes her anonymity (a value that is under attack in this day and age, as noted by Judge Kozinski; see this post at Criminal Appeal). A3G's reference to a dinner date at the French Laundry with Judge Posner was made in jest; never in her wildest dreams did she think it would elicit a response from the heavens.

But now, one of her most fevered federal judicial fantasies has come true: she has been invited to dine with Judge Richard Posner. The prospect of an actual lunch with this preeminent jurist--and being able to brag about "My Lunch With Richard" for years to come--may be just enough to bring her out of hiding. This is an invitation that Article III Groupie must carefully consider...

I Heart Richard Posner,

Article III Groupie

Amended Opinions: September 28, 2004

"Oops--she did it again!" Article III Groupie screwed up.

A3G has been a reasonably active blogger as of late, and we all know what that means: UTR corrections can't be far behind. Sure enough, A3G has some boo-boos to fix, which she addresses in this latest installment of Amended Opinions: UTR Corrections and Clarifications.

But first, a few words of explanation are in order. In researching and writing her posts, Article III Groupie must rely upon the information that she receives from UTR's (large and growing) readership. She is always grateful for tips from her correspondents. But sometimes A3G receives information that is incorrect, and she unfortunately lacks the time and resources to conduct the kind of fact-checking that is performed by major news outlets. This is why she's so thankful to those readers who write to her and bring errors and omissions to her attention. When it comes to accuracy, better late than never! (These remarks are, of course, offered by way of explanation, not excuse. A3G, like the author of a law review article, will not shift the blame: she thanks her readers for their information and insights, but all mistakes are her own.)

(Right now some of you might be thinking, "Perhaps UTR needs to institute more extensive fact-checking procedures before it publishes items." Dear reader, you must be mistaking A3G--a mere blogress--for a "real journalist." Of course, even "real journalists" make mistakes. See, e.g., Jayson Blair, Stephen Glass, and Dan Rather.)

A3G deeply regrets the errors listed below, for which she accepts full responsibility. Unfortunately, in the world of gossip, mistakes are inevitable. As the old saying goes, "You can't make a fluffy and delicious omelette of federal judicial gossip without breaking some eggs!"

1. Judge Sentelle's taste in movies. One reader writes:

I'm a big fan of your site. Been recommending it to all my friends. But I must take exception to your characterization of Judge Sentelle's taste in cinema as "not exactly the pinnacle of cinematic sophistication." The films he selected--Shane, The Searchers, High Noon, Harvey, etc.--are pretty universally considered among the greatest achievements of classical Hollywood. John Ford is arguably the greatest American-born director, and The Searchers is quite probably his finest film. And High Noon--well, it's not only a truly great film, but a key inspiration of Solidarity. Recall the iconic Solidarity poster, using the image of Gary Cooper to evoke the "cowboy" Ronald Reagan...

The reader who submitted this comment knows what he's talking about: he is Brian Frye, an acclaimed filmmaker, curator, and now a 3L at NYU. But you don't need to take Mr. Frye's word for it (and A3G understands why you might not want to--as noted here, he has filmed his own "failure at the one thing virtually every young man can succeed at"). According to the American Film Institute's list of the 100 greatest movies, several of Judge Sentelle's picks are among the best American films of the 20th century--see #33, #69, and #96.

Article III Groupie apologizes to Judge Sentelle--a.k.a. "Judge Dave," as in Judge Dave and the Rainbow People--for calling into question his taste in movies.

(In case you're wondering, UTR's policy of preserving the anonymity of its contributors and correspondents remains unchanged. In this case, given the circumstances, A3G obtained Mr. Frye's permission to be identified by name in these pages.)

2. Judge Calabresi's taste in hotels. One of A3G's most controversial posts has been Kiss Me, Guido: The E! True Hollywood Story of Judge Guido Calabresi. Some readers found it entertaining and informative, while others found it unfair and inaccurate.

A3G admits that the post is inaccurate in one critical respect. In "Kiss Me, Guido," she wrote:

A3G concedes that the narrative outlined above may be a bit melodramatic (hence the subtitle of this post, "The E! True Hollywood Story of Judge Guido Calabresi”). But hey, it could have been worse. Imagine a film entitled Leaving New Haven, in which the dejected Guido holes himself up in the squalid Holiday Inn on Whalley Avenue, for a weekend of suicidal binge drinking...

This paragraph contains an error (which serves A3G right, for using a joke submitted by a reader without verifying the factual premises). A New Haven-based UTR correspondent informs her of the following:

The Holiday Inn on Whalley is now a Courtyard by Marriott. While some improvements have been made, the hotel will always remain "ghetto" due to its location, more specifically, the fact that it is directly across the street from Popeye's Chicken, the earthly instantiation of the Platonic Form of "Ghetto-ness."

Having made this important correction, Article III Groupie stands by the piece.

3. The justices' taste in underwear. This next item isn't a correction so much as a clarification. A reader chastises A3G as follows:

Love your stuff. I always thought it was great that you started a great "me-too" blog following in Dahlia L's footsteps. But then I see that you think that SHE'S ripping YOU off? ("Hmm--this all sounds très UTR, no? Could Ms. Lithwick be a reader of these august pages?") Please. Dahlia (Ms. Lithwick to you) was writing about the Article III skivvies while you were a 2L dreamily licking envelopes for clerkship applications. Note the date of this column. Respect for your elders, child,

Friend of Dahlia
Washington, DC

A3G must clarify the record. In the post in question, she did not mean to imply that Ms. Lithwick was pulling a Larry Tribe; rather, she was merely raising the (highly flattering) possibility that Ms. Lithwick reads A3G's humble blog. As one can tell from all references to Ms. Lithwick in UTR, A3G deeply admires Ms. Lithwick and her work. (To be sure, Ms. Lithwick has even bigger fans--check out The Dahlia Dispatches, "a fan page for Dahlia Lithwick, the rockingest Supreme Court columnist ever ever ever").

A3G apologizes for the misunderstanding. With the benefit of hindsight, she can see how her comment could be construed in this manner. And she recommends the column cited by "Friend of Dahlia" most highly, in which Ms. Lithwick offers educated and hilarious guesses at the justices' underwear preferences (e.g., Justice O'Connor, "nylon slip, J.C. Penney"; Justice Ginsburg, "a fabulous Victoria's Secret matched set in a snakeskin print").

She stands corrected,

Article III Groupie

Justice Is Blind: A Reader's Guide to the Vanity Fair Article

As noted by Will Baude of Crescat Sententia, as well as certain UTR readers who e-mailed Article III Groupie with the news, the folks over at SCOTUSBlog have very kindly made the Vanity Fair article available online (in two parts). In "The Path to Florida: What Really Happened in the 2000 Election," David Margolick, Evgenia Peretz, and Michael Shnayerson offer a behind-the-scenes look at how Bush v. Gore played out at the Supreme Court. A3G previously blogged about the piece here (see item #3, following the "Rehnquist Underwear Update").

Now that you can access the article yourself, Article III Groupie no longer needs to provide you with excerpts of its juiciest portions. But she still has some value to add. Hence this latest installment of Justice Is Blind, which will serve as a reader's companion to the VF piece. As originally explained in this post, "Justice Is Blind" is a UTR feature that (1) publishes so-called "blind items," scrumptious morsels of gossip in which the identities of the federal judges under discussion remain undisclosed, and (2) reveals the identities of individuals featured in the blind items of others. The VF article has a few blind items, which A3G will take a stab at addressing below.

1. Bush v. Gore Dramatis Personae. The VF article contains many references to, and quotations from, Supreme Court law clerks who are identified only by the justice for whom they clerked or by the political leanings of their justice (e.g., "liberal clerks," "conservative clerks," and Justice Kennedy's "four very conservative, Federalist Society white guys"). In reading the article, it may therefore be helpful to know who were the members of the Elect for the October 2000 Term. So here is a list of the holders of Supreme Court clerkships for 2000-2001--a publicly available list, so please don't think of A3G as the next Bob Woodward (or get angry at her for revealing any big secrets):

Chief Justice Rehnquist
Luke A. Sobota (Chicago/Rymer)
Mark T. Stancil (UVA/Ebel)
Jocelyn E. Strauber (Duke/Randolph)

Justice Stevens
Eduardo Penalver (Yale/Guido-maniac)
Andrew M. Siegel (NYU/Leval)
Anne M. Voigts (Columbia/Bleeding Reinhardt)

Justice O'Connor
Rick A. Bierschbach (Michigan/Randolph)
Jennifer M. Mason (NYU/Kozinski)
Tamarra D. Matthews (Yale/Rogers)
Stanley J. Panikowski (UVA/Wilkinson)

Justice Scalia
Kevin P. Martin (Columbia/Silberman)
Julian W. Poon (Harvard/Luttigator)
Aaron D. Van Oort (Chicago/Posner)
Eric B. Wolff (Berkeley/Williams/W. Fletcher)

Justice Kennedy
Grant M. Dixton (Harvard/Luttigator)
Brett C. Gerry (Yale/Silberman)
Kevin J. Miller (Chicago/J. Smith)
Eugene M. Paige (Harvard/Kozinski)

Justice Souter
Kenneth A. Bamberger (Harvard/Kearse)
Kevin C. Newsom (Harvard/O'Scannlain)
Molly S. Van Houweling (Harvard/Boudin)
Matthew C. Waxman (Yale/Flaum)

Justice Thomas
Jonathan F. Cohn (Harvard/O'Scannlain)
Kathryn Comerford (Harvard/Luttigatrix)
Eric D. Miller (Chicago/Silberman)
Ann M. Scarlett (Kansas/Bowman)

Justice Ginsburg
Eric O. Bravin (Columbia/Ebel)
Robert M. Gordon (Yale/Leval)
Goodwin H. Liu (Yale/Tatel Tot)
Linda C. Lye (Berkeley/Guido-maniac)

Justice Breyer
Stacey M. Leyton (Stanford/Bleeding Reinhardt/Illston)
Alexander A. Reinert (NYU/Edwards)
Russell K. Robinson (Harvard/D. Nelson)
Danielle Spinelli (Harvard/Guido-maniac)

Justice White (retired)
Joseph T. Thai (Harvard/Ebel)

2. The Sinisterly Liberal AMK Clerk. On page 320 of the article, the authors write:

[Conservatves] had never forgiven [Justice Kennedy] for his votes to uphold abortion and gay rights, and doubted both his intelligence and his commitment to the cause. Convinced he'd strayed on abortion under the pernicious influence of a liberal law clerk--a former student of the notoriously liberal Laurence Tribe of Harvard Law School, who was representing Gore in the case--they took steps to prevent any reoccurrences. Applicants for Kennedy clerkships were now screened by a panel of right-wing stalwarts.

The liberal snake in the AMK grass would appear to be the insidiously brilliant Professor Michael C. Dorf of Columbia Law School. According to Closed Chambers, the controversial tell-all memoir by former Blackmun clerk Edward Lazarus, Professor Dorf was the law clerk who worked with Justice Kennedy on Planned Parenthood v. Casey--to the exclusion of his fellow law clerks, and contrary to the standard practice in Justice Kennedy's chambers of all clerks being involved, at least to some degree, in all cases.

One "right-wing stalwart" who used to conduct AMK screening interviews was former D.C. Circuit nominee Miguel A. Estrada. Estrada came under fire at his confirmation hearings over his allegedly partisan role in selecting law clerks for Justice Kennedy (click here; see especially the block quote in the middle of the page). Reeling from liberal attacks, "the kid from Tegucigalpa" withdrew his name from consideration for a coveted D.C. Circuit seat, saying "adiós" to his judicial aspirations (or maybe just "hasta luego"; could he be nominated again if President Bush wins reelection?).

3. The Brothers Bravin. On page 355 of the article, the authors refer to "[t]he brother of a Ginsburg clerk, who covered legal affairs for The Wall Street Journal, [who] learned that the paper would soon report how, at a party on Election Night, O'Connor was overheard expressing her dismay over Gore's apparent victory."

The reporter in question would appear to be Jess Bravin, brother of former Ginsburg clerk Eric Bravin.

********************

In closing, Article III Groupie would like to underscore that the foregoing information is all based on matters of public record (or easily derived therefrom by any idiot with Google access and a LEXIS password). So please do not level facile accusations of "hypocrisy" at A3G for providing this information while at the same time desiring to maintain her own anonymity. Article III Groupie, an insecure individual who is desperate for attention, would love nothing more than to be publicly known as the notorious blogger responsible for the federal judicial scandal sheet that is UTR. Unfortunately, in order to entertain and enlighten in these pages while continuing to hold down (highly paid) employment in the respectable and stuffy legal profession, A3G must insist on remaining nameless. She appreciates her readers' cooperation toward this end.

Blogging underneath her (bath)robe,

Article III Groupie

Searching Underneath the Robes: "women's opinions on hairy balls"

Since Article III Groupie shared with her readers some of the surprising and bizarre searches that have brought people to her humble little blog, in this post, folks have continued to reach Underneath Their Robes through rather unexpected paths. So A3G is adding Searching Underneath the Robes, which will compile the weird search engine requests that have directed internet traffic to UTR, as a quasi-regular feature of this blawg.

In addition to the search mentioned in the title of this post, women's opinions on hairy balls, here are some other odd or funny searches that have brought web surfers to the pages of UTR:

--very old sexy ladies [How about this judge?]

--How can you identify horny ladies

--how do I get a judge to marry me

[Object as to form--the question is ambiguous. Do you want a judge to officiate at your wedding, or do you want a judge to become your spouse? If the latter, take a number!]

--federal judicial clerkship horror stories

[Please submit "federal judicial clerkship horror stories" to A3G, for publication as blind items in Justice Is Blind.]

--law clerk hell

--Justice Wardlaw, hottest judge

[Was this Google search run by Judge Wardlaw herself, indulging in some wishful thinking? Perhaps this #2 Female Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary is hoping for elevation to the Supreme Court, and/or the untimely demise of the #1 Female Superhottie?]

--publish a very naughty picture of Heather Locklear in his new book

--where can I find sexy but nice pictures

[You've come to the right place! Check out the nice, G-rated pictures of the sexy jurists nominated back in July as possible Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary.]

--hairy women buttocks

--big busted hispanic women

[Click here and check out the fifth, third, and second place judicial hotties for possibilities--but to be certain, you'd have to catch them when they are not under their robes.]

--videos of girls in their rooms taking off their clothes

--"brazilian wax" +Los Angeles

--Untouchables hair salon

Very well, that's enough weirdness for now. And for the record, with respect to the title of this post, A3G "has no objection to them."

Sitting in her living room in her pajamas,

Article III Groupie

What Judges Want: Federal Judicial "Wish Lists"

'Tis the season! What, is it Christmas already? No, not quite. Rather, as UTR just reported, it's the time of year when hundreds of anxious law students rush all over the country, on their own dime, to interview for prestigious clerkships with federal judicial deities.

As a former clerk herself, Article III Groupie knows firsthand the tremendous value of the clerkship experience. Indeed, she has the highest of compliments to pay to clerkships: clerkships are like spa treatments. A good judicial clerkship is like a very vigorous shiatsu massage: it involves a lot of pressure, and sometimes it's almost grueling, but it's a wonderful and enjoyable experience overall, and you'll be a better person for having done it. If you're clerking for a very demanding judge--e.g., a slave-driving member of the tag team that officiated at the Engel-Kearns nuptials--your clerkship might be more similar to a Brazilian wax: it's extremely painful at times, and sometimes you think it will never end; but once it's over, you realize it was totally worth it!

So, you know you want a clerkship, and you have some great interviews scheduled for this week. Now you want to know: How can I turn those interviews into a job? Assuming her role as Emily Post for the federal judiciary, A3G offers the following advice: Bring the judge a gift!*

This raises a whole new topic, reflected in the title of today's post, derived from What Women Want, the popular 2000 film starring Mel Gibson: What Judges Want.

(By the way, looking back on that movie, wouldn't you love to have the power to hear exactly what federal judges are thinking? Such an ability could come in very handy. Is judicial mind-reading the secret weapon of legendary Supreme Court advocates like Ted Olson, Carter Phillips, and the pre-robescent judicial hottie John Roberts?)

Well, what gift can you get for a man or woman who already has it all--a flowing black robe, a nice big gavel, and a lifetime appointment exercising the judicial power of the United States? For those of you who can't get beneath the robes and inside the minds of federal judges, don't despair. Article III Groupie is here to help!

Now, some of the things that judges want most are unique to their federal judicial station--and some are things you'd find it impossible to give them (unless you happen to be President Bush). Here are some examples:

--elevation to a higher court ("All I want for Christmas is a circuit court seat, a circuit court seat, a circuit court seat...");

--really good law clerks, individually wrapped for easy feeding to the Supreme Court;

--a chambers makeover, courtesy of Trading Spaces or Queer Eye, with an unlimited budget and total freedom in furniture procurement (i.e., no petty bureaucrats from the GSA forcing you to take shoddy, prisoner-made furniture--and remember, Martha Stewart doesn't report to prison until next month); and

--judicial robe accessories, designed by Proenza Schouler or Zac Posen.

Yes, the fashion-conscious A3G realizes that these designers haven't expanded into the realm of accessories, to say nothing of "judicial robe accessories." But a girl can dream, can't she?

(Actually, now that most judges don't wear wigs, A3G isn't quite sure what qualifies as a "judicial robe accessory." Maybe a color-coordinated gavel with clean, modern lines? She would note, however, that at least one strange reader was brought to UTR after running a Google search for judicial robe accessories.**)

Sorry, back to the subject at hand: good gifts for federal judges. As it turns out, federal judicial celebrities are more like you and me than it might at first seem: just like us, they want stuff. And the stuff they want isn't that different from what we want, which might be surprising given their dizzyingly high station.

One UTR reader drew Article III Groupie's attention to the Amazon.com "wish list" of a well-known federal judge. This led A3G to run Amazon.com "wish list searches" for several federal judges, namely, all of the nominees for Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary, all of the supplemental hotties, and all of the judges included in UTR's feeder judge rankings. Alas, most of the judges in question do not have wish lists. But a few of the judges do, and the results are quite interesting. Check out the following:

[Update: Please note that some of the judges appear to have altered or deleted their wish lists since the original publication of this post.]

--the wish list of Judge Alex Kozinski (9th Cir.)

Perhaps Judge Kozinski belongs to Oprah's Book Club? Or perhaps he was able to identify with this story of a European teenage boy who, years before he heads off to law school, has a torrid romance with a 40-year-old woman?

--the wish list of Judge Richard A. Posner (7th Cir.)

Not surprisingly, the unfathomably brilliant Judge Posner has fairly highbrow tastes: Dvorák, The Pentagon Papers, and The Manchurian Candidate (the 1962 original, of course). But one of these things is not like the others...

--the wish list of Judge Julio M. Fuentes (3d Cir.)

Do we have yet another disciple of Oprah on the federal bench? Judge Fuentes's desired book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, got a big boost from being touted by Oprah. Will Judge Fuentes be taking judicial notice of "Toltec-based cosmography" in deciding Third Circuit appeals?

--the wish list of Judge Pierre N. Leval (2d Cir.)

Judge Leval would surely use a new Palm Vx to schedule dinner dates with his pals at One First Street, in an effort to claw his way back on to the list of top 10 feeder judges. (Judge Leval has fallen from being the #9 feeder judge, from OT 1994 to OT 2003, to the #13 feeder judge, from OT 1999 to OT 2003.)

--the wish list of Judge Nancy Gertner (D. Mass.)

It looks like like the liberal Judge Gertner and the conservative A3G have something in common: they both like looking at stars! But Judge Gertner gazes at stars of the astronomical variety, while A3G stalks and ogles those of the federal judicial persuasion.

Judge Gertner's expensive taste in audiovisual equipment may mark this judicial hottie as something of a limosine liberal. Well, it's easy to let criminals go free when you know they'll never get near your house! Judge Gertner and judicial husband John Reinstein, the legal director for the ACLU of Massachusetts, live in a million-dollar Victorian home in tony Brookline, "a jewel of a suburb" conveniently located "[c]heek to jowl with Boston." (Judge Gertner, by the way, is not the only liberal activist judge in bed with the ACLU.)

--the wish list of Chief Judge Douglas H. Ginsburg (D.C. Cir.)

During the week, Chief Judge Ginsburg, head of the much vaunted D.C. Circuit, hunts down the answers to thorny, headache-inducing questions of administrative law. And on the weekends, he hunts--foxes! Yes, as reflected in the "Unique Facts" section of his wish list, as well as in some of his literary picks, Chief Judge Ginsburg is an avid fox hunter. In 2001-02, he balanced his duties as a judge on the nation's most prestigious appellate court with his duties as a board member of the Rappahannock Hunt. As long as His Honor avoids hunting with the Vice President, he should be fine. (As for that other item on Chief Judge Ginsburg's wish list--sorry, Your Honor, you can't buy it on Amazon!)

--the wish list of Judge David B. Sentelle (D.C. Cir.)

Chief Judge Ginsburg's D.C. Circuit colleague, Judge Sentelle (a.k.a. "Clyde"--see "Unique Facts"), has an eclectic wish list. He appears to have an interest in presidential biography--pretty heady stuff, the sort of thing that "smart people" read. But when it comes to films, Judge Sentelle enjoys the Western--not exactly the pinnacle of cinematic sophistication. Could Sheriff Clyde be gearing up for a showdown at the Barrett Prettyman corral with that liberal judicial gunslinger, Judge Harry T. Edwards?

--the wish list of Judge Jose A. Cabranes (2d Cir.)

Judge Cabranes, you don't need to be embarrassed about wanting this book--Justice Breyer reads these books too! (Click here and run a search for "Breyer" on the page.)

--the wish list of Judge Kim McLane Wardlaw (9th Cir.)

Over at Greedy Clerks, a heated debate is raging over the pluses and minuses of a clerkship with this judicial diva and hottie, the #2 Female Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary. One of Judge Wardlaw's defenders, in this message, notes that a clerkship with Judge Wardlaw involves fun outings to Hollywood Bowl events, Lakers games, and plays. Well, if Judge Wardlaw's Amazon.com wish is "granted"--perhaps after she "rubs the lamp" of her "genie"-us husband, the super-powerful, fabulously rich L.A. power broker Bill Wardlaw--then clerks can look forward to yet another fun activity to engage in with Her Honor!

(Yes, A3G realizes that a Kim Wardlaw other than Ninth Circuit Judge Kim Wardlaw is probably the owner of this wish list. But isn't it more fun to pretend otherwise?)

--the wish list of Judge Colleen McMahon (S.D.N.Y.)

Apparently Judge Wardlaw isn't the only Article III aficionado of video games. Consider the study in contrasts that is Judge McMahon's wish list, where "Echoes Living Room Concerts Vol. 2," a compilation of gentle New Age music, jostles up against "Steel Battalion," a highly violent video game. In "Steel Battalion," players "operate a strategic, battle mech weapon through 12 action-packed levels, fending off dozens of adversaries while attempting to diffuse [sic] a riot that has ensued on a Pacific island ruled by a military dictatorship." Hmm... Could the uber-Christian Judge McMahon, previously praised by UTR as a "devout judicial hottie," enjoy venting her wrath through video games?

********************

And what's on Article III Groupie's wish list, you might ask? Here are a few items, for starters: (1) a clerkship with Robing Room Report's "in" Supreme Court justice, Justice Thomas; (2) a romantic dinner at the French Laundry with Judge Richard Posner, at which the doubting Judge Posner will receive irrefutable proof of A3G's feminine identity; and (3) a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes--to wear on her date with Judge Posner, of course.

Coveting her neighbor's clerkship,

Article III Groupie

Footnotes:

*Article III Groupie doesn't want you to lose a clerkship because of her, so she must be perfectly clear: A3G is kidding about bringing a gift to your clerkship interview (just as she was kidding about the mythical rooftop swimming pool at the Prettyboy Courthouse). Indeed, it would be inappropriate and downright tacky to bring a gift to a judicial clerkship interview; you would probably be the butt of jokes by the judge's current law clerks for a long time.

**If you really want to know what "judicial robe accessories" are, click here. (They're a lot less exciting than they sound--and that's saying something!)

UTR News and Views: A Clerkship Application Reform Proposal, and Much More

What else is new? Article III Groupie is terribly behind in her blogging. She humbly offers this latest UTR News and Views post, to tide over her readers while she finishes up several other posts that are in the works. The past two weeks have been fairly busy ones in the world of federal judicial gossip, and A3G has much to report. She realizes that the brief news squibs listed below don't do justice to their topics.

1. Law Clerk Hiring Frenzy Begins. "And they're off!" Pursuant to the 2004 Law Clerk Hiring Plan ("the Plan"), applicants for federal judicial clerkships were allowed to send in their application materials on Tuesday, September 7, 2004 (the day after Labor Day). This past Monday, September 13, judges were allowed to contact applicants to schedule interviews. This coming Monday, September 20, is the first day that judges may conduct interviews and extend clerkship offers. Not all judges and clerkship applicants have been following the Plan, but many of them--including several of the biggest feeder judges--have been adhering to it. "Judges, start your engines!"

For more information on the Plan, as well as gossip about interviews and offers, visit the always engrossing Greedy Clerks board, or the forums of JudicialClerkships.com. To get a sense of the process and how it's unfolding this year, see, e.g., this post (with comments) at The '04 Wall, or these posts at Law Dork.

Jonathan Kravis of The '04 Wall, in this post, asks: "[C]an we think of a saner and more rational clerkship hiring plan than the one in place now?" Not surprisingly, the always opinionated Article III Groupie has an answer:

Judges and law clerks should be brought together through reality TV shows.

Here are some possibilities:

(a) Survivor: Judicial Chambers. Survivor: Vanuatu--what a joke! Retrieving a stone from the top of a pole greased with pig fat? Nothing to it! Building a shelter out of branches and starting a fire with some wet twigs? Child's play! In "Survivor: Judicial Chambers," contestants work on real challenges: preparing bench memos in complex cases, addressing many different substantive areas of law; drafting judicial opinions, for publication in F.3d or F. Supp. 2d; and engaging in Socratic dialogue about the latest Supreme Court precedents, challenged at every step by a brilliant federal judge. The last "survivor" wins a clerkship with a federal judge of his or her choosing.

(b) The Apprentice. Donald Trump's big sister, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry of the Third Circuit, puts aspiring law clerks through their paces. Each episode ends with Judge Barry barking at the departing competitor, "You're fired!" The winner gets to clerk for this magnificent judicial diva (and maybe go gambling with her as well).

(c) Fear Factor. In this contest, overseen by Judge Alex Kozinski, competitors must subject themselves to terrifying, disgusting, or humiliating ordeals, of Judge Kozinski's design. Possible stunts might include bungee jumping or plucking the judicial chickens (literally--get your minds out of the gutter, people). Successful competitors "win" a clerkship with Judge Kozinski--so they can suffer like this for an entire year!

(Kidding, kidding! A3G's love for Judge Kozinski is well-documented in the pages of UTR, and spending time with this delightful jurist could never qualify as "suffering." Even though Judge Kozinski is a demanding boss, each year hundreds of law students apply for one of his three coveted clerkship spots, which is unsurprising in light of the superb training that he gives to his clerks and his tremendous track record as a feeder judge.)

(d) Judge Meets Clerk. Based on Boy Meets Boy, "Judge Meets Clerk" will call upon a judge who hires on ideological grounds, such as Judge Stephen Reinhardt (9th Cir.), to select a like-minded clerk from a pool of applicants who all seem--at least on paper--to be ideologically compatible. The twist? Some of the "liberals" vying for a job with Judge Reinhardt are actually card-carrying members of the Federalist Society!

(e) Temptation Island. This show will require pairs of judges and clerks, at the halfway point of clerkships that are going well so far, to "travel to an exotic locale, to test and explore the strength of their relationship." Once at the location, the judge and clerk in each pair are separated from each other, then introduced to eligible counterparts: the judge meets potential clerks to replace the clerk who accompanied her to the island, and the clerk meets potential judges to work for instead of his boss. They go on "dates" with these eligible counterparts, which might involve slipping away to read slip opinions together in a secluded villa, or strolling along a moonlit beach, while chatting about summary judgment standards under the Americans With Disabilities Act. At the end of their stay on the island, after thus being subjected to temptation, the judge and clerk must decide "if what they think they want is really what they're looking for."

Alas, Article III Groupie's proposal for reforming law clerk hiring must wait until next year for implementation. For this year, A3G wishes the best of luck to all of her readers caught in the middle of Clerkshippalooza.

2. Rehnquist Underwear Update. In her very first post on this blog, UTR's Mission Statement, Article III Groupie posed the following question: "Does Chief Justice Rehnquist wear boxers or briefs? Probably boxers, except when playing tennis with his law clerks."

Well, A3G must offer an apology to her readers: she failed to consider the possibility that the Chief might be sporting a thong underneath his robe.

This scenario is not as outlandish as it might seem. Think about it. Would the style-conscious Chief Justice--the man who, after all, ordered himself a custom-made robe with gold stripes on the sleeve--tolerate VPL?

3. Vanity Fair Publishes Delicious Supreme Court Gossip. Run, don't walk, to your nearest newsstand, and pick up a copy of the October 2004 issue of Vanity Fair (unfortunately not available online). In "The Path to Florida: What Really Happened in the 2000 Election," David Margolick, Evgenia Peretz (is she an ancient Roman?), and Michael Shnayerson provide an exceedingly juicy, behind-the-scenes account of how Bush v. Gore played out at the Supreme Court.

If she had the time, A3G would share with you the yummiest tidbits of gossip from the article. But there's just too much great stuff in the piece, so you'll just have to go read it yourself. The article is terribly biased, written from a very liberal perspective, but Article III Groupie--who is terribly biased herself--knows that good gossip has no party affiliation. For additional discussion of the article, see, e.g., this post by Professor Orin Kerr at the Volokh Conspiracy. (A3G has a few thoughts of her own on the VF piece, but whether she'll ever get around to expressing them here is doubtful.)

4. Judge Garza Passes Away. The federal judiciary recently lost another one of its own. Judge Reynaldo G. Garza, who served on the Southern District of Texas and then the Fifth Circuit, passed away of pneumonia at age 89, as noted here.

As far as A3G knows, the late Judge Garza was no relation to Judge Emilio M. Garza, also of the Fifth Circuit. Judge Emilio Garza is believed to be in fine health, ready to say "¡Hola!" to the Supreme Court should President Bush win reelection. (Before you accuse A3G of racism for merely suggesting the possibility of a familial connection between two Hispanic judges on the Fifth Circuit who share a last name, she would note that there are a surprising number of relatives serving together on federal appellate courts--e.g., the Fletchers, the Arnolds--as discussed in more detail in this article by Professor Michael E. Solimine.)

5. Anthrax Scare at D.C. Circuit. As reported here by How Appealing, three judges of the D.C. Circuit--yes, A3G just bowed her head out of respect to that court--received letters containing what was feared to be anthrax (but actually wasn't). The judges in question were Chief Judge Douglas H. Ginsburg, UTR's #18 feeder judge for OT 1999 to OT 2003; Judge David S. Tatel, the #6 feeder for this period; and Judge David B. Sentelle, the #13 feeder. The timing of the letters is noteworthy, coming at the height of law clerk hunting season.

Hmm... Could some judge be trying to move up in the feeder judge rankings?

6. D.C. Circuit Nominee on the Way "Out"? While we're on the subject of the D.C. Circuit, it looks like nominee Thomas B. Griffith, the "Five Minutes Ago" judicial nominee of Robing Room Report, may actually belong in the "Out" column. Given the fast approaching presidential election, Griffith's confirmation was already highly unlikely--but as reported in this article, it may now be totally dead (despite support from that Article III kingmaker, Senator Orrin Hatch). Senate Democrats are still making a big fuss over BarDuesGate. Quoth Senator Leahy: "This is a man who practiced law in two states in violation of the laws--what a fine, fine standard the White House has [for judicial nominees]. In my state he would be prosecuted. I've never seen anything so unbelievable."

Ouch! As the wounded Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) said to Tai Frasier (a pre-anorexia, pre-makeover Brittany Murphy), in that cinematic classic Clueless, "That was way harsh." (For those of you who can't recall this moment and don't know "Clueless" by heart, a sin for which there is no excuse, this remark was made in response to Tai's cruel dismissal of Cher as "a virgin who can't drive.")

7. UTR "Has a Jones" for Judge Jones. As noted in this post, Judge Edith H. Jones of the Fifth Circuit--who is both a judicial diva and a judicial hottie--appears frequently on Supreme Court short-lists for a Republican administration. But Judge Jones might be a tough sell in the Senate, as a "Federalist Society pin-up girl" and alleged "horsewoman of the right-wing apocalypse." Well, this opinion--check out this excerpt (via Right Side of the Rainbow)--won't exactly endear her to Democrats in the Senate. Reasonable people can disagree over what is included under "viability," but the concept probably does not extend to Judge Jones's Supreme Court hopes.

Judge Jones, for what it's worth, please draw consolation from knowing that you are one of Article III Groupie's super-favorite judges!

********************

For the news items reported herein, A3G must thank her loyal readers and fellow bloggers. She must extend special thanks to Howard Bashman, since she learned of many of these news items through How Appealing. Thanks also to Mr. Bashman for, "after much clamoring from readers," naming UTR an "Especially Appealing" blog.

That's the news, and she is outta here,

Article III Groupie

P.S. Article III Groupie has certain non-blog related matters to attend to over the next few days, so she may not be blogging or e-mailing for a little while. She knows that you'll miss her, but she promises to return to the blogosphere as soon as possible.

"Here They Are": The OT 2004 Supreme Court Clerks!

"There she is, Miss America!"

Oops--sorry! Article III Groupie does not know who will win the upcoming Miss America pageant this Saturday, September 18 (on ABC from 9-11 p.m. Eastern Time, for those of you who plan to watch). But she has equally important information to share with you.

"Here they are, the October Term 2004 Supreme Court law clerks!"

The Anointed Ones for OT 2004 are as follows (with their law schools and prior clerkships indicated parenthetically):

Chief Justice Rehnquist
Jeffrey L. Oldham (Northwestern/Wilkinson)
Julius N. Richardson (Chicago/Posner)
Ryan A. Shores (UVA/Ripple)

Justice Stevens
Melissa B. Arbus (UVA/D. Motz)
Roberto J. Gonzalez (Stanford/Calabresi)
Michael J. Gottlieb (Harvard/Reinhardt)
Daniel J. Powell (Chicago/W. Fletcher)

Justice O'Connor
Joel C. Beauvais (NYU/Edwards)
Theane D. Evangelis (NYU/Kozinski)
Tali F. Farhadian (Yale/Garland)
Joshua Klein (Stanford/Garland)

Justice Scalia
Curtis E. Gannon (Chicago/E. Jones)
William M. Jay (Harvard/O'Scannlain)
Tara S. Kole (Harvard/Kozinski)
John R. Phillips (Chicago/Luttigator)

Justice Kennedy
Andrew C. Baak (Chicago/Posner)
Kathryn Haun (Stanford/Kozinski)
Michael E. Scoville (Harvard/Luttigator)
Matthew C. Stephenson (Harvard/S. Williams)

Justice Souter
Catherine M.A. Caroll (Michigan/Edwards)
Matthew S. Hellman (Harvard/Boudin)
Christine B. Van Aken (NYU/Leval)
Daniel S. Volchok (Harvard/Tatel Tot)

Justice Thomas
Jennifer L. Koester (Yale/E. Garza)
Martha M. Pacold (Chicago/Bybee/Randolph)
Jeffrey B. Wall (Chicago/Wilkinson)
Henry C. Whitaker (Harvard/Sentelle)

Justice Ginsburg
Ginger D. Anders (Columbia/Sotomayor)
Katherine H. Ku (UCLA/Kozinski)
Daniel B. Levin (Yale/W. Fletcher)
Dorothy H. Tran (Harvard/Tatel Tot)

Justice Breyer
Christina D. Burnett (Yale/Cabranes)
James P. Dowden (Boston College/Scirica)
Aimee A. Feinberg (Stanford/Tatel Tot)
Jacob J. Sullivan (Yale/Calabresi)

Some of the demographic trends exhibited in this year's crop of the Elect were previously discussed in this post. A3G does have one new observation to add: It appears that Fourth Circuit Judge J. Michael Luttig, who had a 100 percent feeding record from OT 1994 to OT 2003--he sent all 30 of his clerks during this period to the Court--sent only two of his clerks to the Court this Term. What gives? What could have interfered with Judge Luttig's legendary prowess as a feeder? (On that subject, rumor has it that Judge Luttig owes his success as a feeder judge either to (1) hypnosis of Justices Scalia and Thomas many years ago, or (2) voodoo magic using Supreme Court bobblehead dolls.)

If you know the full story behind this remarkable development--e.g., if you have any information on a Mack Truck that jumped the brick sidewalk in Alexandria and mowed down a helpless law clerk--please drop A3G a line. Of course, Judge Luttig's feeding power is so unstoppable that, if Luttigator #3 had been hit by a truck and sent into a coma, Justice Scalia and Justice Thomas would have squabbled with each other over who had "dibs" on the comatose clerk, their fight ending only after the poor Luttigator flatlined...

Article III Groupie will issue updated feeder judge rankings that reflect the above information (but not anytime soon, so don't hold your breath).

In need of care and feeding (and not just to the Court),

Article III Groupie

Searching Underneath the Robes: Some Strange and Troubling Google Queries

The dearly departed Curmudgeonly Clerk described "Underneath Their Robes," in this post, as "the weirdest legal weblog in existence." Article III Groupie agrees wholeheartedly. And now, to provide further support for UTR's strangeness, A3G will now share with her readers some of the surprising and bizarre searches that have brought readers to the pages of UTR. These searches were conducted using several different search engines, including but not limited to Google, Yahoo!, MSN Search, AOL Web Search, and AltaVista. A3G has organized the searches according to what we can learn from the fact that they're being conducted.

1. If you think Article III Groupie is an odd duck, consider the weirdos who ran these strange searches, which led them to "Underneath Their Robes":

--Katherine Harris swimsuit photo
--sexual female body cavity search stories and pictures
--free erotic stories about ny uncle cumming inside me [UTR is the 17th-ranked Google result--yikes!]
--Mrs Bush may be uppity, but she has nice buttocks
--Justice Ginsburg is sexy [assumes a fact not in evidence]
--+souter +sexy [same as above, although many would disagree with A3G]
--i'm too sexy ogre dancing
--celebrity women scratching their ass
--sexy old men [but see judicial hottie Alfred T. Goodwin]
--men in their underwear with their pp hanging out
--celebrities wearing maxi pads
--her big ass looks good
--banging mom
--"like to squeeze his balls"
--sexy poses on train tracks
--DUCK HUNTING DIVAS
--Chattel is won by reversal
--hotties nuns
--Williams County 4-H Miscellanous Judging Project Winners-2004
--divas with butts spread
--green submissive male story
--free waiver form for mud wrestling
--100%ghetto brawling
--sweet justice hot tub
--"robes de britney spears"

[Hmm... What on earth could that last item be about? If President Bush is reelected, will Britney Spears be rewarded for her public support of the president with a federal judgeship? Imagine the parentheticals! E.g., "Spears, J., cheating on Timberlake, J."]

2. Do not count Article III Groupie among them, but some people are turned on by lots of body hair:

--i need a hunky black gay male with a big hairy are
--free hairy mater diva
--hairy senior divas
--Hirsute Black Divas

3. A few people use the internet for legal research (but are quickly distracted by delicious weblogs of federal judicial gossip). A3G apologizes to the serious-minded readers who had legitimate research queries and wound up in UTR, of all places...

--richmond virginia judge harris divorce guidelines
--"early election" results MO August 2004 primary
--Article III precedents
--Colleen McMahon opinion on Blakely
--legal realism justice breyer
--nancy gertner trademark decision
--recent federal sentences for bank embezzlement
--Judge Patricia Seitz recent sentencing
--4th judicial district blakely opinions
--request for discovery in New York

4. Some people use the internet for "research"--but many more use it for porn! As you review these searches, all of which directed internet traffic to "Underneath Their Robes," please remind yourself that UTR is, at least nominally, a law-related weblog or "blawg."

Yes, A3G recognizes that some of the searches below don't exactly target porn in the most technical sense--to the extent that there is a "technical" definition of pornography, in light of Justice Stewart's famous dictum. But surely these searches reflect prurient interests.

--penthouse forum letter
--hot female construction babes
--teen idol boxers or briefs
--Hotties in stilettos
--"Diane Sawyer" "great legs"
--former porn actress private life
--big cocked men
--santa's hot girl helpers
--famous female hotties free
--hot paintball gal
--babes taking off their shirts
--black college female hotties
--sexy hispanic hotties
--hot southern ladies
--victoria's secrets
--free thumbnail photos of ladies in their underwear
--Seashore nude pretty girls Photograph
--beautiful female bodies active photos
--sexy people.com
--"kimba wood" and playboy
--blond male hotties
--big swinging johnson
--websites of big busted women
--Bare Buttocks of Male Hunks
--fantasy twin divas together
--sexy hot male photographs
--girls kissing on girls video clips
--zaftig goddess, pictures
--sexy female golfer
--soap opera star in porno
--eye candy, male
--flawless female bodies photos
--latinas in panties
--bodacious babes
--hot woman in thongs and their cars
--latina ho's

5. Alas, some lonely and horny people go looking for love in all the wrong places:

--pittsburgh legal hotties
--divas of the SEC
--west va hotties [insert incest joke here]
--activist hotties [but see judicial hottie Nancy Gertner]
--oklahoma state hotties [but see judicial hottie Stephanie K. Seymour]
--romanian sexy divas [but see Judge Elena Lala]
--romanian hotties [but see #1 Male Judicial Superhottie Alex Kozinski]
--law school +hot girls
--hot d.c. divas
--high school hotties [this could spell legal trouble]
--eastern block hotties

6. Some people (including several Nelly fans) can't spell:

--its getting hot in here so take off all your close [sic]
--Nelly getting hot in hear [sic]
--latinas with no panti [sic]
--carvel pudgy [sic] ice cream whale
--superstars and there [sic] private life
--marque hot tub [presumably Marquis hot tub]
--nora [sic] jones blond hair white robes two piece

7. Article III Groupie is not the only stalker of the federal judiciary out there. It appears that several other people share her obsession with the private lives of Article III judges:

--Nancy Gertner +affair +Yale
--Judge Carol Amon husband
--raggi sexy women photos
--nora manella address

8. Uh, what other kind is there?

--male guys
--good-looking hotties
--irresistible hotties
--hot hotties
--impressive babes
--FABULOUS BABES
--big men [but see A3G's last boyfriend]
--republican hotties

9. Some pressing inquiries:

--who was penthouse magazine's, miss august 2004?
--What daytime soap did Demi Moore appear in before she got her film career in gear?
--how can you work with someone as sexy as heather locklear
--What does the J.D. degree stand for [Answer: Judicial Diva!]
--mirror mirror on the wall, which is the fairest law firm of them all?

10. Good luck to you--HA!!!

--how to become a Supreme Court clerk
--are federal judicial clerks ever ranked low in class

11. Duh--tell us something we don't know!

--Kimba Wood is hot
--"solicitor general" "prestigious post"

Okay, that's all for now. Article III Groupie apologizes for not putting out more (posts, that is). But fear not, dear readers; you haven't heard the last of A3G...

Experiencing that funny feeling of being Googled,

Article III Groupie

"Enough About Me--Let's Talk About Them"

People, people! Can we please return to the business at hand--namely, worshiping at the altar of federal judicial celebrity--and stop speculating about the identity of your undersigned scribe?

According to Robing Room Report, Judge Richard Posner is the "in" feeder judge. Well, it seems that the trend-setting Judge Posner, by ruminating about Article III Groupie (and her gender), has made it fashionable to speculate about A3G's identity. See, e.g., this post at How Appealing, this post at The '04 Wall, and this post at Mediocrity's Co-Pilot.

As she has stated before, Article III Groupie will not offer any comment on this subject beyond her author bio. Of course, A3G is flattered and touched by this apparent interest in who she is--including interest from the eminent Judge Posner, who is not only brilliant but also "a tad bit sexy." Many blogs have anonymous authors, but A3G can think of few such blogs whose authorship has been the subject of so much curiosity.

Article III Groupie thanks her readers for taking an interest in her, despite her lowly status as neither a federal judge nor a Supreme Court clerk. As a member of the Great Unwashed, all A3G can do is stand on the sidewalk and stare longingly through the window of the ice cream parlor, watching the cool kids lick their cones with relish, while salty tears roll down her cheeks. Why anyone should care about the little girl crying outside the ice cream shoppe is a mystery to her.

Although she is honored by the attention, Article III Groupie hopes that we can now return our full and undivided focus to UTR's mission of fawning over federal judges. Just as the embattled Martha Stewart deflected unwanted questions by expressing a desire "to focus on my salad," Article III Groupie says, "I want to focus on my federal judicial superstars!"

Convicted on four counts of ridiculousness,

Article III Groupie

P.S. To all of her readers who are in the midst of clerkship application season, Article III Groupie wishes you the best of luck! After you start your fabulous clerkships, don't forget your dear Aunt Groupie. Please send her the most succulent tidbits of federal judicial gossip!