Underneath Their Robes: Too Sexy For Their Robes: The Nominees for Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary!

They are too sexy for their robes. Their milkshakes bring all the clerks to the yard. Everyone wants to get underneath the robes of these jurists. Who are they? Yes, you guessed it: the nominees for UTR's Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary!

The moment in American juris-prurience that you've all been waiting for is finally here. Twenty-one distinguished federal judges, twelve women and nine men, have been nominated for consideration as Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary. This all-star roster of judicial hotties is the Article III analogue to People magazine's annual list of the 50 Most Beautiful People. (Emphasis on "Article III"; to those of you who attempted to nominate magistrate or bankruptcy judges, please listen to this song.)

The nominees are listed below, in alphabetical order. The profile of each nominee includes a photograph, where available, and brief descriptive quotes from UTR readers, in the manner of Zagat restaurant reviews -- appropriately enough, because these judicial hotties are mouth-watering!

Article III Groupie apologizes for not having pictures of all of the nominees, as well as for the poor quality and small size of several of the images she does have. (Please note, however, that you can click on the thumbnail image of each judge for in camera inspection of their hotness!) Unfortunately, our nation's paparazzi have yet to discover the comeliness and sex appeal of the federal bench. A Google image search for "britney spears" generates 61,300 images, while a Google image search for "lourdes baird," our first nominee, generates four (4) images -- two of which are not even pictures of Judge Baird. The difficulty of obtaining pictures of these judicial hotties explains why the Superhotties contest regrettably lacks a swimsuit component. (If you happen to have better photographs of any of the nominees than the pictures that appear here, please submit them by email forthwith.)

The competition now moves into the voting stage. As previously explained here, please submit your votes by email, which you can do by clicking here. There will be no chads, hanging or otherwise, in this election -- the last thing Article III Groupie needs is any Bush v. Gore-style litigation, e.g., Kozinski v. Sutton! You may vote for one female superhottie and for one male superhottie. Votes will be accepted until Wednesday, July 14, 2004, at 11:59 p.m. (Pacific time, to give West Coast readers time to get their votes in). At some point after the close of the polls, the top three female vote-getters and the top three male vote-getters will be announced, in rank order, and crowned Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary! (And yes, prizes will be awarded.)

And now, without further ado, the nominees are:

Female nominees:

1. The Hot. Lourdes G. Baird (C.D. Cal.)

Judge Baird, 69, a native of Quito, Ecuador, worked as a prosecutrix prior to taking the bench. She served as U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California (Los Angeles) before President George H.W. Bush appointed her to the district court in 1992. Judge Baird was the first Hispanic woman to serve as a judge in the district, as reported here. This lovely Latina, whose photograph understates her attractiveness, leads UTR readers to exclaim, "Que rica!"

2. The Hot. Irma E. Gonzalez (S.D. Cal.)

Judge Gonzalez, 56, is "super good-looking," a "judicial J. Lo" who is "muy caliente!" At first, UTR was unable to obtain the ocular proof of her pulchritude. An image search on the internet for "irma gonzalez" yielded a wealth of pictures of Irma Gonzalez the female wrestler (far right; more photos available here, and adult videos available here). Fortunately, one of UTR's California correspondents subsequently submitted an excellent photograph of Judge Gonzalez (near right), which reveals her beautiful eyes and sparkling smile. Now UTR understands what all the raves are about!

Like Judge Baird, Judge Gonzalez is a former prosecutrix. She served as a state court judge in California before President George H.W. Bush appointed her to the district court in 1992.

3. The Hot. Frank M. Hull (11th Cir.)

In case you're wondering, Frank M. Hull "is a woman -- and oh, what a woman!" Judge Hull, 56, is "attractive in a patrician way," with a "remarkably pretty" face. This "luscious Georgia peach," however, has left a sour taste in some mouths.

Judge Hull -- who seems to be a bit of a judicial diva -- has been known to bench-slap colleagues at oral argument, as reported here, and some of her rulings have landed her in the Judicial Hall of Shame. Her profile in the Hall of Shame catalogs various cases in which Judge Hull was reversed unceremoniously by the Eleventh Circuit, back when she was still a district judge. The profile goes on to contend that Judge Hull "appears to be suffering from severe mental disability" and that "a litigant could expect better and more consistent results by throwing darts at legal principles stuck on a dart board."

Judge Hull, a former state court judge in Georgia, was appointed to the district court in 1994 by President Clinton. She was elevated to the Eleventh Circuit in 1997, also by President Clinton.

4. The Hot. Cindy K. Jorgenson (D. Ariz.)

Apparently the sun isn't the only thing that's hot in Tucson, Arizona. The youthful Judge Jorgenson, 51, is "smoking!" Her admirers are legion, as these glowing testimonials indicate. Heck, even the Pima County Sheriff has a crush on her! Judge Jorgenson, a law-and-order kinda gal, served as a state and then federal prosecutrix for almost a decade. Immediately before taking the federal bench in 2002, as an appointee of President George W. Bush, Judge Jorgenson was a state court judge.

5. The Hot. Nora M. Manella (C.D. Cal.)

Judge Manella, 53, is "exceedingly pretty and polished," "a real Wellesley girl." Other Wellesley grads produced from this sleek and glossy mold include television journalist Diane Sawyer and Senatrix Hillary Rodham Clinton, the bitch-goddess of the United States Senate (as shown in this list of famous Mona Lisa Smilers). Judge Manella, a wealthy and well-connected jurist with a "gold-plated Rolodex," is legal professional royalty. Her father, Arthur Manella, was a name partner for many years in the powerhouse L.A. law firm of Irell & Manella, where he served as a tax lawyer to the stars.

After graduating from USC Law School, Judge Manella clerked for the legendary Judge John Minor Wisdom of the Fifth Circuit. Before President Clinton appointed her to the district bench in 1998, Judge Manella served as the U.S. Attorney for Los Angeles, like another one of our nominated hotties, Judge Baird. (Not surprisingly, hotness appears to be a prerequisite for the position of U.S. Attorney in Lalaland.)

6. The Hot. Reena Raggi (2d Cir.)

Like her fellow nominee Judge Manella, Judge Raggi is also a 53-year-old Wellesley graduate with "superb bone structure" and "an elegant, high-gloss attractiveness." As one UTR correspondent stated, when asked by Article III Groupie if he had any other nominees he wanted to offer: "When it comes to the federal judiciary, I only have eyes for Reena!"

Judge Raggi's résumé is as sizzling as her appearance. After a successful career in the prestigious U.S. Attorney's Office for the Eastern District of New York, including stints as the chief of narcotics and the chief of special prosecutions, she was appointed by President Reagan to the district bench at the tender age of 35. Her 2002 elevation to the Second Circuit by President George W. Bush was non-controversial. In this press release, Democratic Senator Charles Schumer contrasted Judge Raggi, whom he praised as "an ideal nominee," with the winner of UTR's Judicial Diva showdown, Justice Priscilla Owen, whom he condemned as "a judicial activist of the first order."

7. The Hot. Marjorie O. Rendell (3d Cir.)

Judge Rendell, 57, is a "classy blonde" who "looks great," with "a wardrobe to die for." This celebrity profile of Judge Rendell in the Philadelphia Inquirer speaks admiringly of her "wholesome good looks" (which are unfortunately marred during oral argument by her tendency to "scrunch[] up her face in concentration"). In terms of personality, however, Judge Rendell can be "quite prickly." As the Inquirer profile notes, she "has a bit of a temper" and "can be difficult to work with," due to her "high need for perfection." (Did someone say the words "Judicial Diva"? If the Manolo fits, wear it!)

In addition to her judicial service, Judge Rendell has responsibilities for tea service -- as the First Lady of Pennsylvania! This judicial powerhouse is married to Pennsylvania Governor Edward G. Rendell, who also served as the mayor of Philadelphia before he was elected governor. (Think of the Rendells as Bennifer for poli sci geeks.)

By day, Judge Marjorie O. Rendell of the Third Circuit develops groundbreaking precedents affecting fundamental constitutional rights. By night, First Lady Marjorie "Midge" Rendell of the Governor's Mansion develops... recipes! Yes, now you too can whip up a feast consisting of Judge Rendell's Savory Meatloaf, Broccoli-Chicken Casserole (yummy but fattening -- that's a lot of cream cheese!), Stuffed Mushrooms, and Lowfat Raspberry Souffle (Article III Groupie prefers chocolate-based desserts).

Judge Rendell issues published opinions parsing complex federal statutes. First Lady Rendell issues First Lady's Favorites, a list of her favorite things. These include her favorite flower, the daisy; her favorite color, blue; and her favorite childhood memory, "Family Holidays and Vacationing at the Seashore" (schoolgirl capitalization in the original). Maybe Judge Rendell, who has a Broadway-caliber voice, can sing her own version of My Favorite Things: "When the dog bites / when the bee stings / when I get reversed / I simply remember my favorite things / and then I don't feel the worst."

As this puff piece in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette indicates, Judge Rendell used to bake cookies for political strategy meetings that her husband would hold in their home. Perhaps she can give the Senatrix from New York, who is famously averse to cookie-baking, a few helpful hints! (Of course, Hillary now claims to have a recipe for chocolate chip cookies, but everyone knows she just goes to Mrs. Fields.) Hillary could then repay the favor by giving Judge Rendell tips on how to deal with a philandering husband. As the Philadelphia Inquirer profile notes, the Rendells have been dogged by "years-long rumors of extramarital dalliances by [Ed Rendell]." (UTR has three words of advice for Judge Rendell: separation of powers. Put an end to the executive being in bed with the judiciary -- "Ed, you're on the couch tonight!")

Judge Rendell, a Clinton appointee, served as a district judge in Philadelphia from 1994 until 1997. She was then elevated to the Third Circuit by President Clinton (who is known to have a weakness for blonde-haired beauties).

8. The Hot. Patricia A. Seitz (S.D. Fla.)

Judge Seitz, 58, "definitely has the blonde ice princess look going." A former president of the Florida Bar (and its first female president), Judge Seitz is a skillful schmoozer who "knows how to work it." When she is willing to defrost, she can flash a "blinding, Julia Roberts-quality smile" (as you can see in the picture at right).

For 20 years, Judge Seitz was in private practice at Steel Hector & Davis in Miami, a city where it helps to be a hottie. She was appointed to the district court in 1998 by, you guessed it, President Clinton (who is known to have a weakness for ice queens).

9. The Hot. Amy J. St. Eve (N.D. Ill.)

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Judge St. Eve, 39, "is ready for canonization -- as a Holy Hottie!" The youngest nominated hottie, Judge St. Eve earns one of the highest compliments from UTR readers: "She's so cute, you can't believe she's a judge!" Some attorneys confess that it can be "difficult to appear before her," due to her "distractingly attractive" appearance, which can also make it "hard to get the attention of male jurors." Before her 2002 appointment by President George W. Bush, Judge St. Eve worked in private practice and as a federal prosecutrix.

The job that helped Judge St. Eve the most in landing an Article III appointment, however, was surely her work for Ken Starr as an associate independent counsel during the Whitewater investigation. As noted here, Judge St. Eve is just one of several Starr deputies and protégés who have been rewarded for their loyal service with federal judgeships and U.S. Attorney posts. It seems that if you want to be appointed to the federal bench by President Bush, it helps tremendously if you were at one point in "hottie pursuit," chasing after Bill and his zaftig beauty Monica (famously described by Vanity Fair as "the face [or at least the lips] that launched a thousand subpoenas").

10. The Hot. Diane S. Sykes (7th Cir.)

Judge Sykes, 46, is "startlingly pretty and elegant," with a "cool," "businesslike," "yuppie sort of appeal." She has "lovely features," most notably her "rosy cheeks" with "nice high cheekbones." (For additional pictures of Judge Sykes in a variety of poses, click here, here, and here.)

Judge Sykes, who was formerly married to right-wing talk show host Charlie Sykes, is very well-connected in conservative circles. Not surprisingly, she was accused by many of being a right-wing judicial diva (see here, here, and here). One op-ed writer even wrote a column ominously entitled, "Diane Sykes Has Dark Secrets." (Talk about being alarmist! One of the so-called "dark secrets" is that Judge Sykes belongs to the Federalist Society. C'mon -- it's not as if Judge Sykes were She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!).

Despite this opposition, and surely aided by her attractiveness, Judge Sykes managed to win Senate confirmation. She now sits on the Seventh Circuit with the judge for whom she once clerked, Judge Terence T. Evans. Prior to her 2004 appointment to the Seventh Circuit by President Bush, Judge Sykes worked in private practice and served as a justice on the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

11. The Hot. Kim McLane Wardlaw (9th Cir.)

Judge Wardlaw, 50 (as of July 2 -- happy birthday!), "looks like Barbie," "Heather Locklear in a black robe." This blonde Hispanic hottie boasts "a fantastic smile" and an "incredible body," showcased quite nicely by her "elegant ensembles." She was nominated by several UTR readers, including her husband, Los Angeles power broker Bill Wardlaw, a private equity kingpin at Freeman Spogli.

The Wardlaws are very wealthy, with a fortune well into the eight figures, and they are incredibly plugged-in, on both sides of the aisle. Bill Wardlaw and L.A.'s Republican former mayor, Richard Riordan, were extremely close (at least until their well-publicized falling out). Bill Wardlaw was thus described in this article as "the Riordan administration's eminence blanc, a pale, brilliant, almost Jesuitical political tactician, the father to two of the mayor's godchildren." On the Democratic side, the Wardlaws are close friends of current L.A. mayor Jim Hahn, whose mayoral campaign was chaired by Bill Wardlaw, as well as Bill and Hillary Clinton. Indeed, the Wardlaws have graced the Lincoln Bedroom with their presence. An "FOB" ("Friend of Bill"), Judge Wardlaw was appointed by President Clinton to the district court in 1995, then swiftly elevated to the Ninth Circuit in 1998.

12. The Hot. Kimba M. Wood (S.D.N.Y.)

Judge Wood, 60, is "a hottie intellectually as well as otherwise," writes one reader. For present purposes, UTR is more interested in the "otherwise" part! And Judge Wood -- whose résumé includes Playboy bunny training in London, before she entered Harvard Law School -- certainly has the hottie credentials to back up this claim. Further coverage of Judge Wood's all-too-brief stint as a bunny is available here, here, here, and here ("Kimba Wood became a federal judge after she could not make it as a Playboy bunny").

Judge Wood is one of the few federal judicial celebrities who is also a celebrity outside the courthouse. Over the years, her name has appeared in boldface type in several New York tabloids, one of which infamously dubbed her the "Love Judge," based on her alleged affair with the high-flying, obscenely wealthy, then-married Wall Street financier Frank Richardson III. (Judge Wood was also married at the time, to Time magazine writer Michael Kramer.) For a description of Judge Wood, UTR will now quote from Richardson's diary, which was brought to light during his nasty divorce from socialite Nancy Richardson. (Yes, Article III Groupie realizes that large block quotations can be intimidating. But trust her--this is worth it!)

March 3, 1995: Lunch Kimba - Arqua. She tells me how close she is to breaking in her marriage. She is one year behind me. She says she wants to meet for dinner when [her husband] Michael [Kramer] and son are on Spring Break.

[Undated]: A week ago Friday, I called KMW. She seemed eager to meet. We planned lunch Monday. She said she was free Wed & Friday. I asked her for dinner Wed. night. We talked til 11. She is interested in every plane of being. I was really snowed and I knew she was getting there, too. Friday she picked a restaurant in SoHo . . . We sat facing each other on a banquet [sic]. She leaned toward me beaming. I love that picture [of] the black hair around her pearl white skin, the misty green eyes. The next morning, I said I was going horse riding. I met her and drove to her country home in Sheffield (Conn.). Absolutely charming and of great character. We had lunch, built a fire, put on music and spent as beautiful an eight hours as I have spent in my life. She is absolutely wonderful, very intelligent, a complete woman and person and able to give love wonderfully and freely.

April 3, 1995: I called her and asked what she was doing for lunch. I said what else matters. She said nothing. She was so beautiful, more than I remembered. I spent Sunday just realizing how deep the madness of loving her went. . . . She said she was wild when I touched her hands at Lutece. She said . . . I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

April 9, 1995: I am full of joy of being free of NR [wife Nancy Richardson]. Words can hardly describe the wonderful feeling I feel I have my future back. . . . Kimba that's something else . . . [I'm] wild, wild, wild about her. Overwhelmed. No sense of reserve . . . intoxicated by her body.

April 11, 1995: I awoke at about 5 a.m. - wide awake immediately. The first thoughts come flooding I am free. I never have to worry about NR again. Then I remember Kimba. Each day I realize that I am closer to a completely new life totally absorbed by her.

April 12, 1995: I have with such deliciousness rethought every moment with Kimba. She told me she was in a daze at Lutece. "I was just amazed at what you are." . . . When I first took her head and kissed her lips. . . . How she stiffened and gave slowly, but inexorably.

April 15, 1995: Kimba is today or tomorrow telling Michael she is going to leave him.

[Undated]: She is [a] very passionate and very sexual woman . . .

April 16, 1995: Kimba from pay phone. She told Michael she wanted out yesterday at 10 p.m. He accepted it. I guess any man would, based on the nonexistence of the relationship.

May 14, 1995: Kimba and I not seeing each other, but talking several times a day. The madness of crazed love . . .

Order in the court, order in the court! All this bodice- and robe-ripping is getting Article III Groupie hot under the collar! Can somebody please pass her a cold compress? Why can't she find a man who can love her like that (and who also has a fortune estimated at $175 million)?

After his divorce, Richardson married Judge Wood, upon whom he bestowed an enormous, flawless diamond engagement ring. Home for the happy couple is a fabulous prewar co-op on Manhattan's Upper East Side, which will be lovingly covered in UTR Cribs, a forthcoming report described near the end of UTR's Mission Statement. For photos of the glamorous couple at the New York City Ballet's opening night gala, click here and scroll down the page. (Don't miss Judge Wood's magnficient lavender gown with ruched neckline -- it sure beats a black robe! If you know who the designer might be, please email Article III Groupie.)

Judge Wood was appointed to the district court by President Reagan in 1988. In 1993, she was nominated for the post of Attorney General by President Clinton (who is known to have a weakness for dark-haired beauties). But she was forced to withdraw in the wake of a "Nannygate" scandal, as reported here. As Lance Morrow of Time magazine explains in this column, Judge Wood had actually followed the law in her employment of a nanny. But the Clinton Administration abandoned her nomination anyway, having just been burned by the nanny scandal of Zoe Baird, the first nominee for the post.

Male nominees:

1. The Hot. Harold Baer, Jr. (S.D.N.Y.)

Judge Baer, 71, is "handsome as the dickens," with "an accent that makes you turn your head and wonder, 'Is that Gabe Kaplan?', every time he speaks." Like his father before him, Judge Baer was a state court judge in New York. In 1994, Judge Baer was appointed by President Clinton to the federal bench. In 1996, Judge Baer came under fire from local and national politicians, including President Clinton, after he excluded 75 pounds of cocaine evidence from an accused drug courier's trial. As reported here, Judge Baer later reversed himself. Article III Groupie admires a man who's not afraid to admit he was wrong!

2. The Hot. Gary A. Feess (C.D. Cal.)

Don't you "wish they all could be California judges"? Of the twenty-one nominated judicial hotties, six are Californians. Our next nominee, Judge Feess, 56, also hails from the Golden State. He is "quite cute," in an "admittedly nerdy," "dork chic" sort of way. Sporting Harry Carey glasses, Judge Feess looks "kind of like Rick Moranis." According to a profile of Judge Feess in the Los Angeles Daily Journal, he is "not a ball of fire," but "a stern, extremely self-confident workaholic who is a stickler for details." (He does, however, listen to KROQ.) Before becoming a judge, Judge Feess worked in private practice and as a federal prosecutor. He served as a state court judge from 1996 until 1999, when President Clinton appointed him to the federal trial court.

3. The Hot. Alfred T. Goodwin (9th Cir.)

Judge Goodwin, 81, is "a very handsome man" who appears "at least 20 years younger than his 80+ years" (as shown in his picture at left). While a member of the Oregon Supreme Court, "he was a champion steer roper, with pictures to prove it on his chambers' wall." Yee-haw! Article III Groupie is ready to be lassoed, tied and dropped by this judicial hottie!

Judge Goodwin was appointed to the district court by President Nixon in 1969 and elevated to the Ninth Circuit two short years later. He became famous -- or infamous, as the case may be -- as the author of the Ninth Circuit's Pledge of Allegiance opinion in the Newdow case.

4. The Hot. Robert A. Katzmann (2d Cir.)

Judge Katzmann, 51, who caused "students to swoon" while a law professor at Georgetown, is "just plain hunky." And this is not just the opinion of fed courts geeks. Judge Katzmann has been seen in the company of stunning actress Natascha McElhone, on both sides of the Atlantic. They were spotted at a movie premiere in New York and again at a wedding in England, where they took the dance floor together. McElhone lives in London and is married to a plastic surgeon. (Article III Groupie asks her readers not to read too much into the bare facts that she reports.)

Judge Katzmann has a twin brother, Gary S. Katzmann, who is a federal prosecutor in Boston. If your motion for "judicial notice" is denied by Judge Katzmann, try to score a date with his brother! Judge Katzmann was appointed to the Second Circuit by President Clinton in 1999.

5. The Hot. Alex Kozinski (9th Cir.)

Judge Kozinski, 53, is a fabulous judicial celebrity who needs no introduction, having graced these pages with his presence on many occasions in the past. The arguments in favor of his superhottie candidacy are set forth here, in Judge Kozinski's nomination papers, and supplemental material is available here, in his Rule 28(j) letter to Article III Groupie.

For now, Article III Groupie offers you this photograph of Judge Kozinski and an unidentified blonde hottie. (Article III Groupie is getting jealous -- someone tell that Naomi Watts wanna-be to take her paws off A3G's man!) As that non-judicial hottie Madonna might sing, "Who's that girl?" Let the rumor-mongering begin!

6. The Hot. John G. Roberts, Jr. (D.C. Cir.)

Judge Roberts, 49, with his "youthful," "all-American good looks," is the "JFK Jr. of the federal bench." As his rival Judge Kozinski admits here, Judge Roberts is "young and extremely handsome." (Article III Groupie thanks the UTR reader who provided the photograph at left of Judge Roberts. When she searched the internet for pictures of Judge Roberts, she located only a single, fairly unflattering picture of Judge Roberts -- although she did stumble across this picture of "John G. Roberts," a super-cute British landscape architect!)

Judge Roberts is a member of the Elect, having clerked for the renowned Judge Henry J. Friendly of the Second Circuit, followed by then-Associate Justice Rehnquist. His professional achievements, including over 30 Supreme Court arguments, are literally incredible; you can read about them here (and then go off and wallow in your own inferiority). Judge Roberts headed the appellate practice group at the white-shoe D.C. law firm of Hogan & Hartson, before his appointment by President Bush to the blindingly prestigious D.C. Circuit. (Consider yourself warned: If a member of the Great Unwashed dares to cast his eyes upon the E. Barrett Prettyman Courthouse without sunglasses, he immediately loses his sight! The people you see going in and out of that courthouse wearing paper bags over their heads are disgraced D.C. Circuit clerks who failed to get Supreme Court clerkships.)

7. The Hot. Edmund A. Sargus, Jr. (S.D. Ohio)

Judge Sargus, 51, is "quite handsome," with a "distinct resemblance to a younger Michael Douglas." (For a detailed biography and larger picture of Judge Sargus, click here.) Judge Sargus served as the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Ohio from 1993 until 1996, when President Clinton appointed him to the federal trial bench. Judge Sargus's wife, Jennifer Sargus, is a state court judge. Talk about federal-state comity!

8. The Hot. David H. Souter (U.S. Supreme Court)

Justice Souter, 64, may not seem like an obvious choice for a federal judicial hottie. But a UTR reader offers these remarks in support of his nomination:

I should hope I'm not the first person to nominate SOUTER, J. as a male federal judicial hottie. Not only can the man offer many an intimate night in his New Hampshire farmhouse -- away from the prying eyes of UTR, In Touch magazine, etc. -- but his daring late-night jogs through our nation's capital help him to both acquire a few sexy battle scars and keep a sexy musculature. Certiorari is GRANTED to that hot, lean body!

(Groupie, J., would dismiss the writ as improvidently granted. But as they say, "De gustibus non disputandum est!")

9. The Hot. Jeffrey S. Sutton (6th Cir.)

Our youngest male hottie, Judge Sutton, 44, is "very cute," in a "Howdy-Doody sort of way," as well as "always immaculately groomed." Judge Sutton is a member of the Elect, having clerked for Justices Powell and Scalia, and he is a four-time recipient of the "Best Briefs" award of the National Association of Attorneys General, as noted here. A Supreme Court clerkship, and clean underwear? What more can a girl ask for?

A UTR reader who has seen Judge Sutton in action -- at oral argument in Cincinnati, that is -- offers the following remarks:

I had never before seen, or watched a video of, Jeff Sutton. I had read about his confirmation hearings and I was expecting some sort of ogre. I was immediately struck with how soft-spoken he is. Not soft-spoken in the sense that he is meek, but his voice is rather high-pitched and not very loud. Kind of the WASP version of Mike Tyson (without the lisp or the appetite for ears). Everyone seems to lean in and pay attention so as to hear him better. He seemed like the kind of guy who comes home every night and tells his wife how beautiful she is, even on her bad hair days. He looks much younger in person than in newspaper photos. I imagine it would be very easy for his female clerks to have a crush on him and that that would embarrass him. He is no A&F model (thankfully!), but he is the total package: soft-spoken, innocent, handsome, kind, loyal, courteous, intelligent. Make him a Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary!

Article III Groupie says: "Amen! Break me off a piece of that!"

********************

Whoomp, there it is: the full slate of nominees for Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary! Please give Article III Groupie a napkin, so she can wipe the drool off her chin! As noted above, the voting period begins now and will end on Wednesday, July 14, 2004, at 11:59 p.m. (Pacific time).

Thankfully, Yahoo! has just increased Article III Groupie's mailbox size to 100MB, so she is ready to receive the thousands of votes that will surely come flooding in. With the Fourth of July holiday just behind us, UTR calls upon you, its patriotic readers, to fulfill your civic duty: VOTE NOW for your Article III superhottie of choice!

Crazy in love with federal judicial hotties,

Article III Groupie

Comments

Does anyone else suspect that the blonde on Kozinski's arm (pictured above) is A3G herself? We all know she adores him; she pays the pictured lady quite a compliment on her looks; and she gratuitously invites us to speculate and "rumor-monger" about the identity of Koz's hugger. Could the reason A3G loves Judge K so much be that he a) gave her a feeder clerkship and b) let himself be pictured with her on his neck? Just a thought...

Posted by: BJ | July 22, 2005 at 01:35 AM

It's spelled Terri Schiavo, not Terry Schiavo. Makes it clearer that she is a woman, like Judge Frank Hull.

Posted by: Schoolmarm | March 23, 2005 at 11:20 AM

Female hottie #3, Judge Frank M. Hull, was on the Eleventh Circuit panel that just issued a decision in the Terry Schiavo case.

The per curiam opinion was on behalf of Judge Hull and Judge Edward E. Carnes. Judge Hull is a Clinton appointee. Judge Carnes is a Bush I appointee. Judge Charles R. Wilson, a Clinton appointee, dissented.

A3G, have any scoops for us about Judge Hull, Judge Carnes, or Judge Wilson? And what's the 411 on Judge James D. Whittemore, the trial judge on the case?

Posted by: nameless reader | March 23, 2005 at 10:33 AM

Check out this district judge in North Dakota. Karen Kosanda Braaten

Posted by: Larry Johnson | July 29, 2004 at 11:05 AM

I can't believe you left out Judge Freda Wolfson from the District of New Jersey. In the mid 1990s I was involved in some RTC litigation. At the time, Freda was still a Magistrate (she was elevated to District Court Judge a few years ago) the in-house lawyer for the RTC took the train up from Washington to Trenton just to, as he put it, "meet the hot judge with the great legs." A terrible omission on your part.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly | July 28, 2004 at 08:26 PM

I'm from Chicago. Put me down for three votes for Wood and one for St. Eve.

Posted by: Ralph | July 15, 2004 at 09:37 AM

wow..this site is so straight out of someone's asshole it's featured in Newsweek

Posted by: me | July 15, 2004 at 01:19 AM

Judge Yvette Kane's (MD PA)name is conspicuously absent. She's as good looking as she is a great golfer. The country club and judiciary are better off with her!

Posted by: | July 14, 2004 at 05:39 PM

I vote for Sykes and Sutton. Wood is washed up -- not mine, of course -- I'm referring to Kimba. Sykes is soooo hot. Love to touch the heiney...

Posted by: Paralawyer | July 14, 2004 at 10:05 AM