Just as parents claim not to have a favorite child, the above-signed blogress could not possibly choose a pet from amongst the fruitful branches of the Article III judiciary. Clerquette does, however, have a special place in her heart for members of the District Court, who she considers the unsung heroes of the federal bench. In addition to being a colorful and fascinating crowd, District Court judges are Fixers, capable of handling just about anything that comes their way. Need a TRO? Your local DJ can hear your plea, despite the fact that you waited until 4:22 on Friday afternoon to make it. Wondering if anyone will make it through the endlessly-pronged analysis required to test the mettle of your employment discrimination claim? Your District Judge has a special superpower, to wit: the ability to determine whether the evidence, viewed in the light most favorable to the non-moving party, shows that there is no genuine issue of material fact. And assuming, arguendo, that you'd like to see your local Ponzi schemer sentenced to a stint in the pen, who ARE you going to call? That's right, dear readers: you'd turn to someone who has slogged through the Booker-Fanfan Swamp and knows just how to navigate the smooth superway known as 'Route 3553.'
Clerquette could go on and on. You get the idea: DJ's are more than just Superhot faces: they are the craftsmen and women of the bench, the Master Carpenters (and we all know the heights to which a carpenter has been known to rise ...). For the foregoing reasons, Clerquette was delighted to read this article by Senior District Judge Ann Aldrich in today's New York Times. Judge Aldrich posits that, if POTUS wants it done right, the ideal nominee to this bench would be (you guessed it) a judge who has served on a federal trial court. As Aldrich explains, the Supremes (past and present) generally lack "the practical experience that is necessary for providing district courts with clear and workable directives." The result, she writes, are decisions which result in the required application of vague or confusing standards, which the district courts struggle to apply (often with inconsistent results).
The appointment of a DJ would infuse the Court with a "touch of practical knowledge and understanding," says Aldrich (who, incidentally, bears an odd resemblance to Alice, of Brady Bunch fame). Hmm. POTUS is known as a "pragmatist," and has expressed a commitment to nominating a replacement for DHS who will understand "how our laws affect the daily realities of people's lives." Will he look deeper in the applicant pool ... past the Woods, the Wardlaws, the Sunsteins, and of course, the Sotomayors and Kagans? That remains to be seen. Clerquette will be watching.
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