A3G Blinded By Excessively Fabulous Photo!!!

This photo of seven glamorous legal celebrities, from yesterday's Roberts confirmation hearings, blinded Article Three Groupie with its sheer fabulousness. Here's the caption:

Judge John G. Roberts and his advisers Wednesday during a break in his confirmation hearings. From left, Judge Roberts; his wife, Jane; Mike O'Neill, the Judiciary Committee counsel; Rachel Brand, assistant attorney general [at the DOJ's Office of Legal Policy]; Ed Gillespie, a White House adviser; Kristi R. Macklin, deputy assistant attorney general; and William Kelley, deputy White House counsel. Stephen Crowley/The New York Times. [Update: As noted here, Ms. Macklin was originally misidentified in the caption as Dabney Friedrich, associate White House counsel.]

WOW -- simply sensational! Almost all of the pictured figures are Article III superstars who have previously graced the pages of this blog (and several of them are also profiled in this interesting Legal Times article).

Judge and Mrs. Roberts, of course, have received copious coverage in UTR. Rachel L. Brand (OT 2002/Kennedy) -- who led the "murder boards" for Judge Roberts, and who was (quite accurately) described by the New York Times as "a rising star in the administration's legal circles" -- is UTR's reigning Prom Queen. The brilliant William K. Kelley (OT 1988/Burger/Scalia) has been the subject of much rumor mongering in these pages as well; he should be considered an excellent possibility for the D.C. Circuit seat that will be vacated this fall by Judge Harry T. Edwards.

The super-high-powered Michael E. O'Neill (OT 1996/Thomas) has not been discussed in detail in this blog before, but now is the perfect time to pass along some tidbits that were previously submitted by a loyal reader:

Sentelle-tubbie Mike O'Neill (OT 1996/Thomas) is not the happiest of campers. Let's just say that he was no "token liberal" in the Thomas chambers, yet he is now chief counsel to the liberal Republican chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Arlen Specter. Word on the street is that he will see the job through [the] Supreme Court fight[s] this year, and possible reform of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines (he's a former Sentencing Commissioner), but is otherwise hot to trot back to the GMU [George Mason University] campus, where he has tenure.

Quite interesting... This gossip about Michael O'Neill is confirmed in part by the Legal Times article: "[T]his Brigham Young University alum was hired [as Chief Counsel to the Judiciary Committee] in January because 'he assuages some of the [conservatives'] concerns about Specter.'"

Okay, let's try something new here at Underneath Their Robes: a caption contest! In the comments to this post, please share your suggested responses to this question: "What were they thinking?" (As always, A3G reserves the right to delete comments that are inappropriate, offensive, or just not to her liking.) A3G will kick things off with these examples (which should be taken in the spirit of good-natured jest with which they are offered):

John Roberts: "Since I'm not gay, I'm allowed to think: Kristi has some nice legs!"

Jane Sullivan Roberts: "So, Kristi, you think you can seduce my husband with those nice legs of yours? Well, think again! You might have worked on the Hill before -- but I clawed my way to a Biglaw partnership. And satellite procurement isn't tiddlywinks, my dear. I'll take you any day of the week!"

Rachel Brand: "Is this a bad angle for me -- do I not look good in profile? Why is John staring at Kristi like that?"

Kristi Macklin: "This one time, at band camp..."

William Kelley: "Do I have time for a bathroom break before we start up again?"

Comments

[Mike]

"Kissinger was right: Power is the best aphrodisiac."

[HLSnape]

"Hey - I heard UTR now fawns over well-credentialed conservative attorneys more than actual federal judges. So, this photo op is bound to get in that blog - everybody, look sharp!"

Macklin: "Can you ask the Chairman to speed things along. Can't you see that Kelley is getting hungry?"

[Satellite Procurement Lawyer]

"Satellite procurement isn't tiddlywinks" -- I love you, A3G!

[Boo]

Macklin: "I'm throwing myself at you and all you can think about are f'ing toys?"

Gillespie (aka the 40-Year Old Virgin): "They're not f'ing toys! This is Ironman, okay?"

Kelley (for anyone who had him for Con Law at Notre Dame): "How much longer until the new season of Survivor? Oh man, it's 3:30 and you know what that means: SODA TIME!!!!!"

[Loyal Cinci Correspondent]

As I sit here with my coffee, obscurity and pathetic discovery requests, all I can say is "THIS PHOTO MAKES ME SICK!!!"

"...can you tie my shoe please?"

John Roberts: "While you are down there Mike...."

Actually, that's not Dabney Friedrich; that's Kristi R. Macklin.

[Cody Herche]

"John Roberts and entourage discuss ways to dispose of Patrick Leahy and Chuck Schumer."

[Jennifer Pepin]

"Is this going to get out in time for the West Wing?"

[Anonymous Law Student]

Rachel Brand: And at the party we're going to have a costume contest, decorations, punch, the whole schibang! What do you think John, does it sound like fun or what?

Roberts: I don't think that it would be appropriate for me to comment on this topic.

Dabney Friedrich: Try to emphasize the fact that you APPRECIATE the toad's diverse background.

William Kelly: He was supposed to be here by now.