Over the past few weeks, Article III Groupie has issued puff pieces profiling the incoming clerk classes of Chief Justice Rehnquist, Justice Stevens, Justice O'Connor, Justice Scalia, and Justice Kennedy. (Click on the link for each justice to see their clerks.) Since A3G is going from chambers to chambers in descending order of seniority, she must now turn her attention to DHS.
Truth be told, A3G has never been a huge DHS fan. Those orange alerts are so stupid! Let's hope that ex-Judge Michael Chertoff turns the place upside down as DHS Secretary... (By the way, it seems that people in Japan are interested in Secretary Chertoff's private life: check out this Google search that led someone to UTR.)
Oh, sorry -- wrong DHS! The subject at hand is actually Justice David H. Souter, a.k.a. "The Yankee Justice." And once again, to be perfectly frank, A3G is not a huge fan. She still feels somewhat betrayed by this lapsed conservative, who stole the One First Street berth that rightfully belonged to that magnificent judicial diva cum hottie, Judge Edith H. Jones (5th Cir.), a.k.a. the Horsewoman of the Right-Wing Apocalypse. (For more, see here, item #3, wherein A3G quipped, "Et tu, Souter?")
A3G also wishes that Justice Souter made for better copy. In contrast to the flamboyant Rock Star of One First Street, who's always getting into trouble somewhere, the Yankee Justice leads a quiet bachelor's life. Couldn't he do something to liven things up -- like start dating Katie Holmes?*
Article III Groupie has even allowed her personal feelings about Justice Souter to affect her editorial judgment. As some of you may recall, last July A3G pleaded guilty to obstruction of Justice Souter, in her federal judicial hottie contest (see here, item #4). Alas, despite her best efforts to sabotage his candidacy by posting the most unflattering photos she could find, Justice Souter still managed to become the #4 Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary (male) -- the only member of the Supreme Court to make the list. Notwithstanding A3G's disapproval, UTR readers were apparently of the view that when it comes to judicial hotness, David Souter sure can Hackett!
Okay, enough of A3G's carping from the sidelines. No matter what she might say about him, Justice Souter still collects his mail at One First Street. And even if Justice Souter may be less than fabulous himself, at least he hires fabulous folks. So let us now praise famous clerks: DHS's clerks for the October Term 2005!
1. Jeanne C. Fromer (Harvard '02/Sack)
(a) Jeanne Fromer is currently a fellow at the Information Society Project at Yale Law School, where her research foucses on some pretty heady stuff: "patent law, law and technology, and cognitive and computational approaches to the law";**
(b) she graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law School, where she served on the Harvard Law Review;
(c) she worked as an intellectual property lawyer at Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr LLP (nee Hale & Dorr);
(d) she received her undergraduate degree from Barnard in computer science, graduating summa cum laude, then earned her master's degree in electrical engineering and computer science from MIT (where she was an NSF research fellow and an AT&T Labs fellow; Larry Summers, eat your heart out!); and
(e) she thinks that "Palmtrees rule!" (Is she referring to the plants, or the software, or something else?)
(a) in addition to being "incredibly brilliant" and "one of the quickest people in her class to challenge BS," Meaghan is a talented karaoke peformer (and yes, she takes requests -- ask for anything by the Beastie Boys);
(b) she has an adorable bulldog named Bella (see pic at right);
(c) she was a summer associate at Goldstein & Howe (by the way, welcome, SCOTUSblog readers!);
(d) she is an avid fan of the Yankees and North Carolina basketball;
(e) in response to A3G's prior inquiry into her favorite breakfast cereal, a reader advises, "actually, she prefers yogurt" (something she shares in common with her future boss, who eats it every day for lunch);
(f) she enjoyed the snooz-inducing All the Real Girls (one of her few apparent flaws; there's a difference between subtle and soporific); and
(g) she is "a devastatingly gorgeous heartbreaker," deemed by one UTR correspondent to be "at least as cute as her future co-clerk Allison Orr" (profiled infra).
3. Jon D. Michaels (Yale '03/Guido-maniac)
(a) Jon Michaels graduated from Williams College, where he scored a Truman Scholarship and a Marshall Scholarship;***
(b) he went to Yale for law school, where he was an articles editor for the Yale Law Journal;
(c) speaking of Yale Law School, he is getting married in its courtyard this summer, with big pimpin' feeder Judge Guido Calabresi officiating; and
(d) Jon is a close friend and former roommate of fellow Guido-maniac Jacob J. Sullivan, currently clerking at the Court, for Justice Breyer.
4. Allison Orr (UVA '04/Wilkinson)
(a) she is a graduate of William & Mary and the University of Virginia Law School, where she graduated first in her class and served on the Virginia Law Review;
(b) she was a "superstar" of her summer class at Covington & Burling -- a class that also included Randy Kozel, Jeff Pojanowski, and Ann O'Connell;
(c) she is not related to Dudley Orr, the founder of Orr & Reno, the Concord, New Hampshire law firm where young David Souter began his legal career;
(d) Alli Orr "loves all things Virginia, including and especially the rock/go-go band known as Virginia Coalition";
(e) she goes running at lunchtime with her current boss, Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson III (a.k.a. "The Aging Divo"), whom she has gushingly described as "very lovable" (maybe she can go jogging with her future boss as well, to provide him with extra security?); and
(f) she has a "captivating" singing voice, which she would showcase by performing in the UVA Law student revue, The Libel Show (which is where the photo at right of her shakin' her booty comes from; go ahead, click on the thumbnail for a better view!).
This news story about Allison Orr tells the funny story of how she learned that she might have a job at One First Street:
No matter how accomplished you are, there are still a few things that can floor you. This message on your answering machine is one of them: "Hello. This is David Souter. I am calling about your clerkship interview. Please call me back when you have a free minute."
An answering machine message from a Supreme Court justice? Wow! How much do you think the tape could fetch on eBay? It sure beats voice-mail from Paula Abdul -- or those annoying automated telemarketer messages that A3G gets so often...
And what a delightful lack of pretense! A simple, humble, down-to-earth greeting: "Hello. This is David Souter." Why not "Hello, this is Justice Souter," or "Hello, this is the fourth-hottest man in the federal judiciary"? If A3G were a Supreme Court justice, she wouldn't be able to resist leaving messages like this one:
Greetings, mortal. This is the Honorable Article 3 Groupie, calling you from Mount Olympus, a.k.a. One First Street. Are you there? Are you screening? You better not be screening. I AM A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, goddamnit!!! Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?
Maybe the early bird doesn't always get the worm. Justice Souter typically hires last among the justices -- he was conducting interviews as late as February, for OT 2005 clerkships starting this summer. But based on the four impressive individuals described above, DHS still managed to score some pretty prime produce, despite his late arrival to market.
Regardless of her issues with Justice Souter, A3G sends her fondest felicitations to his law clerks for the upcoming Term. And she has a favor to ask of them as well: Can you tell her if there's any truth to this proposition, reflected in a Google search that recently brought someone to this blog?
* Before a bunch of you send her emails seeking a retraction, A3G will state: Yes, she has heard the rumor that Justice Souter is funny and witty in small settings. But that doesn't change the fact that he keeps a disappointingly low public profile. For example, when was the last time he gave a public speech referencing orgies or sodomy?
** The Information Society Project is also the current home of future SOC clerk Amy Kapczysnki. Is the ISP turning into a waystation for The Elect, a la the Bristow Fellowship program or the Office of Legal Counsel?
*** As you have no doubt noticed, there are tons of Rhodes and Marshall Scholars among The Elect, October Term 2005 (e.g., D. John Sauer, Evan Young, Amy Kapczynski, Sarah McCallum). It seems that if you narrowly miss snagging one of these prestigious fellowships while in college (like A3G did), then you might as well kiss your Supreme Court clerkship hopes goodbye -- even before your first day of law school. Oh, how the rich get richer!