In the immortal words of Sir Elton John, "The bitch is back!" Yes, Article III Groupie has returned to the pages of UTR -- and she hopes to make up for her absence with a few fun posts between now and Thanksgiving.
Some of you have speculated that Article III Groupie spent her time away from the blogosphere down in Washington, D.C., at the National Lawyers Convention of the Federalist Society. Unfortunately for her, A3G did not attend those glamorous proceedings, which one starstruck UTR reader described as "a non-stop judicial sight-a-thon"! (Given the literally dozens of e-mails she has received about the conference, however, she might as well have been there; she plans to blog about it in the near future.)
Last week was not nearly as fabulous for A3G as it would have been had she been hanging out with the vast right-wing conspiracy. But she can't complain too much. Her business trip wasn't that painful, as business trips go. Conducting witness interviews is far better than collecting or reviewing documents, and the hotel she stayed at, while not exactly a Peninsula property, was perfectly pleasant (with a fairly decent gym).
Very well, that's enough for now. Until A3G gets her well-moisturized hands on a presidential commission and a black robe, she merits no further discussion in these pages. Let us turn our attention back to the judicial celebrities who make UTR such a guilty pleasure.
At the risk of sounding immodest, Article III Groupie will now share with you some flattering comments from her readers concerning her recent Questions Presented interview with Judge Kim McLane Wardlaw of the Ninth Circuit. Yes, A3G realizes she is being ridiculously self-aggrandizing. But before you go off and start "Underneath Her Robe," a How Appalling-style parody of UTR -- which would be superfluous at any rate, since A3G is her own best parody -- please try to see things from her perspective. A3G spends enormous amounts of time on her weblog, thereby reducing her billable hours, without any fattening of her Celine wallet. Correspondence and compliments from her readers, especially judicial and judicial spousal readers, are the fuel that keep her blogging; they are like "waves of love, pouring over the footlights..."
Oh goodness, sorry! A3G was lost in reverie just then. Let's get back to business. Here are some comments from UTR readers about A3G's interview with Judge Wardlaw, which shower praise upon Judge Wardlaw and/or A3G as an interviewer:
"When I open up a slip opinion and see that [Judge Wardlaw] is its author, I know that justice has prevailed."
"I have been to Judge Wardlaw's chambers, and they are gorgeous -- great color combinations and art, and nice carpet too."
"Barbara Walters ain't got nothing on you!"
"How cool that you got Judge Wardlaw for an interview! I loved the part about the Hollywood designer doing some of her robes."
Not content to rest on such laurels, your loyal scribe has been on the prowl for additional A-listers of Article III to interview in future installments of Questions Presented ("QP") She is pleased and proud to report that two federal judicial celebrities with off-the-chart Q scores, Judge Richard Posner and Judge Alex Kozinski, have agreed to participate in interviews "on the QP." She was particularly gratified by the response of Judge Posner, who wrote: "You're hilarious, so how can I say no? Therefore I consent."
With gratitude for this celebrity endorsement, A3G has a compliment to pay to Judge Posner in return: he is the Article III equivalent of Jude Law. Just like Mr. Law, slated to appear in half a dozen films before the year's end, Judge Posner -- who could, given his encyclopedic knowledge of the entire legal universe, also be called "MR. LAW" -- is everywhere!
"Crikey -- I can't believe I'm sharing a couch with RICHARD BLOODY POSNER!"
Jude Law earns over $12 million per picture. He has held his own on the silver screen against superstars like Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, and Nicole Kidman. But as you can see in the photograph at right, when you plunk him down next to Judge Richard A. Posner of the Seventh Circuit, he turns into a blushing schoolgirl!
Yessirree, Judge Posner is popping up all over the place. He has a new book out, as noted here by How Appealing. His controversial comments about the general worthlessness of student-edited law reviews are generating buzz throughout the blogosphere. As noted here by Orin Kerr of the Volokh Conspiracy, Judge Posner is now defending his views in an online debate with a current Kozinski clerk and future member of the Elect, Randy Kozel. (By the way, thanks for the shout-out, Professor Kerr!)
In terms of his personal appearances, Judge Posner will soon be exchanging bench-slaps with "The Easy Rider," in a debate taking place in New York City this Friday, as previously reported by A3G. (Kozinski and Kozel appear to be taking the "tag team" approach to opposing Posner.) And while he's in the Big Apple, Judge Posner will be calling upon the Columbia Law School Federalist Society, delivering an address entitled "Civil Liberties in the International War on Terror," on November 22 at 12:20 p.m.
As an astute observer of celebrity culture, A3G must now warn Judge Posner about the perils of overexposure. She is all too familiar -- indeed, more familiar than anyone with a J.D. degree has a right to be -- with cautionary tales like those of Bennifer and Paris Hilton (who suffers from the problem of overexposure quite literally). When a celebrity lingers in the spotlight for too long, he forfeits the qualities of mystery and inaccessibility that make him so desirable. When a star overstays his welcome, the result is often audience fatigue, and sometimes even backlash. (What's that? You don't think it's possible for the public to see too much of a judge? Allow me to introduce you to Judge -- actually, make that ex-Judge -- Simona Lungu...)
Make no mistake about it: A3G is profoundly grateful to Judge Posner and The Easy Rider for their willingness to participate in Questions Presented. But to protect them from overexposure, Judge Kozinski and Judge Posner -- both of whom have figured prominently in this blog in recent weeks -- will not be interviewed in these pages anytime soon. (Judge Kozinski, we know you're ready, even eager, for your UTR close-up. But you have to trust Mamma Groupie on this. It's for your own good!)
And so, without further ado, Article III Groupie hereby announces her next interviewee, one of our nation's most distinguished and delightful district judges: the Honorable Robert W. Gettleman, of the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois! A3G has already engaged in preliminary correspondence with Judge Gettleman, one of the brightest judicial superstars on a truly star-studded bench. And she can assure you, based on her sneak peeks beneath the robe of Judge Gettleman, that he will be nothing short of delicious. (The same goes for his son, the hunky and high-profile NYT reporter Jeff Gettleman, who will be featured in a photo with his father -- shirtless. Yes, ladies, there is a God!)
If you have any suggested questions or topics for the QP interview with Judge Gettleman, please e-mail them to A3G forthwith. With the holiday season fast approaching, there's no time to waste!
Cackling over her cache of purloined hotel toiletries,