As you all know, the deadline for voting in the Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest is just a few short hours away (Wednesday, July 14, at 11:59 p.m.). After the voting concludes, it may take Article III Groupie a while to count the votes and prepare a suitable announcement post.
A3G knows that you will miss her dearly over the next few days. So, to tide you over, she offers you this second installment of Justice is Blind, containing some new blind items of federal judicial gossip. (The first installment appeared here.) The theme of today's blind items might be: "Federal judges get lonely sometimes. And when they need company, or a little household help, they can always count on their law clerks to be their friends--or servants!"
She Gets By With A Little Help from Her "Friends": This southeastern district judge had her clerks pack her belongings so she could move out after she and her husband filed for divorce. The clerks had to spend an entire week going to her house to pack her up, instead of going into chambers. This judge also invited herself over for a vacation at the home of one of her clerks in a foreign country, where the clerk's family had to hire extra security to make sure the judge would feel safe.
Analyze This: Talk about "issue"-spotting! This Texan jurist has daily therapy sessions. And law clerk attendance at the judge's annual pilates recital is "so ordered."
Underneath Her Parka: This West Coast appeals court judge required her clerks to go on a ski vacation with her this past winter. Clerks had to pay their own way--and there was mandatory hot tub time with the boss! Lest you think that time in the judicial jacuzzi might actually be a fringe benefit of this clerkship, let the record reflect that the judge in question is not a judicial hottie. (And are you sure those bubbles are from the jacuzzi?)
Driving Judge Daisy: This California district judge, who should probably just retire on account of his age and decrepitude (he uses a walker), forces his clerks to chauffeur him everywhere.
Certiorari Denied! This New York trial judge sought to divorce her husband on the ground of constructive abandonment--after he refused to have sex with her for over a year. (A3G expects a writ of mandamus to issue forthwith...)
Thanks to UTR's readers for these scoops. Please continue to submit proposed "Justice Is Blind" items, especially tales of law clerk oppression, by e-mail. Article III Groupie is keeping an eye out for them!
Further affiant sayeth not,
P.S. The Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest, including Judge Kozinski's awesome contributions (see here and here), is UTR's claim to fame. But "Underneath Their Robes" has so much more to offer. While waiting for the Superhotties results, check out these favorites of Article III Groupie (yes, she does love the sound of her own voice): Bench-Slapped! Reinhardt v. O'Scannlain (discussing Ninth Circuit cat-fights), Inbreeding at One First Street (A3G's bitter rant over how not getting a Supreme Court clerkship ruined her life), and Fili-BUSTED! Magnificent judicial divas stopped dead in their tracks. Also, don't overlook UTR's mission statement, which justifies A3G's obsession with federal judicial celebrities.
Perhaps I'm better suited to be a clerk than I once thought. My deadbeat friends I drive around don't even pay me.
Posted by: Dylan | July 15, 2004 at 01:13 PM