"It's getting hot in here--so take off all their robes!" Thus spake Nelly, when UTR invited him to be a guest judge for Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary. He graciously declined, but the competition will proceed.
Before proceeding to discuss the competition, which you are surely eager to hear about, Article III Groupie would like to offer her profuse apologies for her absence from these pages over the past few days. Unfortunately, much of last week was taken up by a very unpleasant document production. Despite certain time-saving rules that she employed (e.g., "when in doubt, it's non-responsive"), slogging through the boxes took Article III Groupie many, many hours--and also caused her to break a fingernail. This kind of mind-numbing drudgery is not what Article III Groupie had in mind when she signed up to be a Biglaw Litigatrix. (In between brutal documention productions, Article III Groupie consoles herself by blowing too much of her six-figure salary on clothing by Prada.)
Anyway, back to matters of substance. Thanks to everyone who has written in thus far with federal judicial superhottie nominations. Nominations will be accepted by e-mail until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, June 18, 2004. When you submit a nomination, please provide brief explanation of why you think the nominee is sufficiently delectable to merit consideration as a Superhottie, as well as a photograph (if possible).
After the close of nominations, UTR will post the list of nominees, together with comments on each nominee (as well as photographs if available). The polls will then be open to UTR readers to vote, by e-mail, for the one male or the one female they would like to see elected to Superhottie status. Voting will be by e-mail, to avoid any American Idol-style voting controversies, and you should vote for only one man or one woman. Article III Groupie is a traditional kinda gal, and she does not support any newfangled, harebrained, Lani Guinier-style voting schemes. Polls will close at 11:59 p.m. on Friday, June 25, 2004. Shortly thereafter, the top three female and male vote getters will be announced, in rank order, and crowned Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary.
And so, without further ado, the judicial hotties currently under consideration as possible Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary are:
The Hot. Frank M. Hull (11th Cir.) (female)
The Hot. Reena Raggi (2d Cir.)
The Hot. John G. Roberts, Jr. (D.C. Cir.)
The Hot. Jeffrey S. Sutton (6th Cir.)
The Hot. Kim McLane Wardlaw (9th Cir.)
The Hot. Kimba M. Wood (S.D.N.Y.)
These nominees certainly get Article III Groupie's pulse racing! But as Ryan Seacrest of American Idol might say, "America, don't forget--you have to vote for the judicial hotties." So if you aren't excited about the nominees listed above, do something about it--send Article III Groupie an e-mail with the judge that you would like to see crowned a Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary!
All hot and bothered,